Hello, Me. Long Time No See.

Something happened when I became a mother.

I became disconnected from my thoughts, feelings and desires. With two little people depending on me, I spent my time on their needs and wants. When I wasn’t taking care of them, I shifted my attention to my work, husband and home life. Then, back to the kids.

Gone were the childfree days of college and young professional life, when I would spend hours alone, contemplating my place in the world, journaling (oh, the journals I have filled!), taking long walks in the woods, imagining life’s possibilities and going after them one by one.

As a mom, my only times alone with my thoughts have been 10 minutes in the shower or commuting to work. And guess what I was thinking? “Man, this shower feels good” or “I really hate this $#&@ing traffic.” Deep stuff.

Perhaps because my almost-5-year-old is more independent and my 19-month-old is no longer a baby, I’m now emerging from the mom-cocoon. It also helps that I work for myself, from home, with child care. As I poke my head (antennae?) out, I’m looking around saying, “What about me? What do I want?”

I’m allowing myself to move up my priority list. How do I want to spend my time? What do I want to experience or accomplish? It’s exciting to ponder these questions. I’m still a mom, with all the responsibilities and joys that come with it. But I’m also a person — who’s enjoying getting reacquainted with herself again.

Today’s author Susan is co-founder of Working Moms Against Guilt.

6 Comments »

  1. WOW! I know that feeling oh so well. And it’s not just the role of MOM but also WIFE, friend, employee, etc. That’s one of the reasons I created my biz, The Marriage Effect. We are so many things to others & we often put ourselves on the back burner. ME time is priceless. Thanks for this!

  2. Emerging from beneath the “mom-cocoon”, nicely put. It seems as though when we become mothers, it is so all encompassing that becomes the sum total of both how we define ourselves, and how we are seem by others. We have long conversations with people we barely know on anything baby centered, yet fail to spend 5 minutes a day focusing on our own needs or wants. It just feels selfish. But it isn’t, when you make time for self care you become a better mommy and a more fulfilled person.

  3. I just had a conversation with a friend about how I feel like I have lost my identity. I do the same thing every day of my life….and I have burnout. Problem is, I have let it go so long that I really don’t know who I am anymore….I don’t know what I like, I don’t know what I want to do with my life, I don’t really know anything except that I am a mother and a wife….and it makes me sad. Thanks for the article….

  4. Just knowing that there are other moms who feel the same way i do, is reassuring.
    Bogged down by routine, I’ve forgotten what ‘quality time’ was. Whether it’s quality time with my toddler son, husband, family or friends. When I’m with my son, my mind wanders into what needs to be done during the day. When I’m with anyone else besides my son, I wonder what he’s doing. And at the end of the day, I’m mentally fatigued and feel like I’m not really enjoying any part of what I do, in my day.

    this article has provided some fantastic insights. thank u so much for it.