I have spoken to clients and friends alike about this subject several times in the past week, so I thought I’d throw it out here, too. Being “alone”: how do you deal with it?
First, define “alone.” In my client’s case, it was the fear of no longer having a spouse. He was frightened by the thought of truly having to do everything for himself and his kids (when he has them) all on his own. This is no easy task even when you have help! After he understood that he wasn’t afraid of being alone, but actually of being 100% responsible for himself and his children, he was able to come up with some coping strategies and time management tools.
My friend defined “alone” as not having another warm body in the house with her after a recent break-up. She said she felt like she was the only person in the world when she was in her empty apartment. She made sure it was okay with her apartment manager and then decided to adopt a little dog. She brought her new buddy home last week and while she’s frustrated with the housetraining issue, she admits it has helped ease her loneliness.
I think of “alone” as having the house to myself with no one asking for anything and no one interrupting me. I grew up an only child and am just more comfortable in a calm, solitary place. So, for me, “alone” is a good thing, even though it’s rare these days with a teenager in the house!
So, what does “alone” mean to you? What are your feelings about it? You may be surprised!
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