Since yesterday was my daughter’s 20th birthday, I decided to dedicate this post to her. There is a Buddhist saying that often our “best teachers” are the ones who challenge us most. I have learned many lessons from my “wise, spirited, sensitive and sometimes emotionally intense” daughter in our 20 years together.
Here are a few:
1. When someone is upset, talking doesn’t always make it better. Often, it’s better to step away from the situation and have time to cool off than trying doggedly to fix it. Silence can be golden.
2. Children/people don’t have to be rescued from their feelings, even when they’re angry, upset and expressing feelings which can be distressing to those around them. Letting them learn to manage their emotions in a safe, supportive environment helps them mature.
3. Don’t take things personally. Most of the time when someone is upset it has nothing to do with us but is the result of something going on inside of them. Reacting defensively/taking offense to what’s happening, usually makes things worst.
4. Keep practicing self-care. Relationships require care and attention. When we’re physically, mentally and emotionally depleted, small issues loom large and we are more likely to take offense, become easily irritated and angered, and respond poorly to our children and others.
5. Dress better. Rachel’s a fashionista and her influence on my wardrobe, hairstyle, makeup, etc. has helped me stay young.
What life lessons have you learned from your children and others? Take 2 minutes to close your eyes and picture yourself before and after they entered your life. Write down 3 positive qualities you have now that you didn’t have before. Notice this week how they help you to grow.