Things My Daughter Taught Me

Since yesterday was my daughter’s 20th birthday, I decided to dedicate this post to her.  There is a Buddhist saying that often our “best teachers” are the ones who challenge us most. I have learned many lessons from my “wise, spirited, sensitive and sometimes emotionally intense” daughter in our 20 years together.

Here are a few:

1. When someone is upset, talking doesn’t always make it better. Often, it’s better to step away from the situation and have time to cool off than trying doggedly to fix it. Silence can be golden.

2. Children/people don’t have to be rescued from their feelings, even when they’re angry, upset and expressing feelings which can be distressing to those around them. Letting them learn to manage their emotions in a safe, supportive environment helps them mature.

3. Don’t take things personally. Most of the time when someone is upset it has nothing to do with us but is the result of something going on inside of them. Reacting defensively/taking offense to what’s happening, usually makes things worst.

4. Keep practicing self-care. Relationships require care and attention. When we’re physically, mentally and emotionally depleted, small issues loom large and we are more likely to take offense, become easily irritated and angered, and respond poorly to our children and others.

5. Dress better. Rachel’s a fashionista and her influence on my wardrobe, hairstyle, makeup, etc. has helped me stay young.

Rachel and me

What life lessons have you learned from your children and others? Take 2 minutes to close your eyes and picture yourself before and after they entered your life. Write down 3 positive qualities you have now that you didn’t have before. Notice this week how they help you to grow.

4 thoughts on “Things My Daughter Taught Me

  1. Love this post – so true!!

    My things: 1. gray hair; 2. dark circles under my eyes; 3. whiplash from her mood swings (she’ll be 13 this week).

    Of course I’m joking. I have learned so much from her…sometimes I think more than she’s learned from me.

  2. I have learned to better care for myself – out of simple necessity 🙂
    i have tried out so much which turned out to be fun which I never had done alone – without a kid on my side 🙂
    I learned with loving my child, how unconditional love feels and there for I was able to give it to myself, too.

  3. Happy Birthday Rachel and Happy Birth Day Diane. At at 18 my daughter found out she had cancer. Since then she has gone through numerous tests,surgeries,radiation,and other invasive procedures. She has taught me bravery above all. When my eyes would be full of tears because of another procedure or a lab test she would tell me “Hey no big deal”. She also taught me a quiet grace. In spite of everything she has faced and still has to she has such a grace about her. She is such a strong young woman. Now 27 when I am feeling down and I discouraged I look at her and the mountains she climbed.

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