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Category: Monday Musings

Belated Valentine’s Wishes

Totally forgot about V-Day until last week’s post was done. Since this month’s theme is healthy relationships, here’s what poet e.e.cummings says about love. i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing… Read more Belated Valentine’s Wishes

It’s Okay to Speak Up, Really (Part 2)

Last week, we posted the first three aspects of assertive communication: 1)speak openly, honestly and directly; 2)state thoughts and feelings without becoming defensive; and 3)be courteous and respectful.  Here are the next four steps.  Exercise timing.  Discuss important matters at a time which is good for all involved.  Discussions late at night when your partner’s tired or first thing in the morning before they’re fully awake, is not recommended.   Make certain you each have the attention and energy for a constructive conversation.  Make clear requests.  If there’s something you want, ask for it. … Read more It’s Okay to Speak Up, Really (Part 2)

It’s Okay to Speak Up, Really (Part 1)

Last Wednesday Susan from Working Moms Against Guilt posted about having difficult conversations with loved ones instead of an uncensored “snarkfest” brought on by repeatedly withdrawing from confrontation.  Sound familiar?  Most of my female friends and clients describe struggling with this because “nice girls” don’t make waves and depend on approval to feel good. This week, I’m offering some guidelines for assertive not aggressive communication to help with this challenging practice.  Remember,  it’s important to be open and direct about both positive and negative emotions because love and praise often go unspoken too. Be assertive. … Read more It’s Okay to Speak Up, Really (Part 1)

January:The Journey of Self-Care Begins

This month we’ve talked about how to make self-care changes which will stick, and how to appreciate the blessings of everyday life which is self-care in practice. While we’ve heard these ideas before, it’s “doing” them that’s challenging. To summarize what we’ve said about making self-care part of  our daily routine:  Set small attainable goals, like 15 minutes a day.  Break the change into smaller steps.  Make it part of what’s already in the schedule.  Mommie Kate had some great advice on this.  Intend/visualize what we want to happen.  Don’t become self-critical of missteps.  Learn from the experience and try again.… Read more January:The Journey of Self-Care Begins

The Miracle of Everyday Life

Each January, we resolve to change ourselves and our ways so this year will be better than the year before.  We plan to be more organized, more motivated, more disciplined.  Always ” more,” and when we don’t succeed, we feel unhappy, inadequate and disappointed.  While goals are desirable, the miracle of everyday life is equally important. Buddha  said, “Each morning we are born again.  What we do today is what matters most.”  Life occurs in the present.  If our gaze is too much on the future or in the past, we lose the… Read more The Miracle of Everyday Life

Time for Self-Care: Self-Preserving Not Selfish!

This month we’ve been talking about self-care and the importance of making it part of our lives. Last week, our guest blogger Mommie Kate, had some simple self-care tips which many moms appreciated.  Still, the issue of time stops many women from practicing self-care.    In our new book, Life Will Never be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide,  Ann and I devote an entire chapter to the obstacles that get in our way.   Here’s what we write about making time for self-care.  1. Self-Care is a Choice: “Children are demanding.… Read more Time for Self-Care: Self-Preserving Not Selfish!

Smell the Roses: They’re Always There

Many times I figure out what my New Year’s resolution is after the new year starts. That’s what happened this past week.  I woke up Wednesday night thinking, “Stop struggling.  Enjoy the good life you have.”  Don’t get carried away and think my life is perfect.  It isn’t.  Although Ann and I teach  self-care, we are equally challenged to make it part of our daily lives. The New Year is about how to improve life and ourselves rather than savor what’s already working.  In fact, last week I talked about taking small steps to… Read more Smell the Roses: They’re Always There

How to Make the Most of Your New Year’s Resolutions

Everyone starts the New Year’s with the best intentions.  Determined to make changes to improve their lives in significant ways.  And what happens?  Most of us fail miserably.  Instead of aiming for the moon, we need to undertake small, attainable goals.  Like practicing self-care 15 minutes a day (which many have remarked is difficult enough). Breaking the change into smaller steps can  make it easier to achieve.  For example, if someone wants to lose 50 pounds this year, start with losing 1-2 pounds each week.  To do this, a person has to reduce their daily calorie intake… Read more How to Make the Most of Your New Year’s Resolutions