Category: Self-Care

Spots are filling up quickly for Dr. Sanford’s Mindfulness in Everyday Life Workshop, so visit novel neighbor.com or call (314) 738-9384 to reserve your spot! Admission is $20 dollars and includes a copy of Dr. Sanford’s new book, Stress Less Live Better, a healthy snack and 90-minutes of mindfulness practice. Don’t miss out!

New Year’s is often the time for people making changes in their lives. While we start the year with good intentions to exercise more or eat healthier, by the end of January or February many of us are discouraged, give up and resume our unhealthy habits.

My intention for you and myself this year is to offer small bite-size changes you can make in your life to help you stress less and live better in 2018. When I was in my early adulthood, there was a movie What About Bob? in which Bill Murray played a man with severe anxiety determined to overcome it. He did this by taking “baby steps” to achieve his goals like getting on the bus or going sailing. By the end of the movie, he was anxiety-free and in love with his life.

Although in real life we don’t change so much so soon, Murray’s taking “baby steps” is a good example for us to follow. So, here’s where you can begin. This week when you start worrying or feeling stressed, stop, close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths and give your mind and body a chance to reset. Its’ that simple. You can also practice when you’re stopped at a stoplight or waiting for your kids in carpool line. If 3 breaths isn’t enough, you can go for 10 deep breaths but don’t exceed that.

Remember, to stress less and live better we have to commit ourselves to consistent attainable goals. As they say “The journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.”

If you want to take the deep breathing one step further, click here for the link to my professionally guided Comfort Stone exercise. To order a copy of my newest book, Stress Less Live Better: Five Simple Steps to Ease Anxiety, Worry and Self-Criticism, click here.

I was visiting with my cousin at my mother’s annual holiday party when he commented to me he was glad to have “endured” Christmas. I told him that once his children were older, like mine who are now 29 and 25, he would enjoy the holiday more. I recalled how I felt after decorating, shopping, wrapping, and celebrating with the girls in tow, and how my joy was tempered by exhaustion.

Our self-care tip this post-holiday week is to rest and recharge your battery.  Don’t put pressure on yourself for playdates, taking the children out or visiting friends and family unless that’s easier for you. Resist preparing  gourmet meals, downloading holiday pictures or catching up on errands. You have the entire  year ahead.

What to do instead? Rest. Restore. Recharge. No child has ever died from a diet of hot dogs and macaroni. In fact, many of them prefer it. They will gladly wear the same clothes and don’t care if their rooms are a mess. Also, let them entertain themselves.  What about the new toys they took seconds to unwrap? They can play with them!

For a healthy and happy new year, you need to have the energy to enjoy it. As Ann and I always say, you must keep your pitcher filled to take care of yourself and those you love.  Don’t run yourself ragged like little Spudgy and miss out on the fun. Give yourself a break this week. You deserve it. And get some sleep.

If you’re looking for another way to rest and recharge after the holidays, come to my Mindfulness in Everyday Life Workshop at The Novel Neighbor! Here’s more information:

The holidays often suck us into the gimmes, just like our kids, as we make the holidays happen. We easily lose track of the underlying message of the season for our kids. Consider these focused activities to reconnect with the holiday lessons:

1) CHOOSE actively, in line with your values. Stop and consider what you want to teach about the holiday season. You might want to say no if an event is too commercial, or detracts from planned family time. It’s fine to focus on fun–and opt out if an event is more drudgery or duty than pleasure. This is your holiday, too, and you have the right to celebrate it in a way that is meaningful and enjoyable for you. What a good example for your children!

2) INVOLVE everyone in the process of giving, helping small children pick out toys for the holiday toy drive, donate from their piggy banks to the bell ringer at the grocery, or make macaroni necklaces for favorite aunts or sitters. Older children might perform a chore, or sing/perform on an instrument for neighbors, visiting family, or residents of a senior living community.

3) READ one book about your spiritual perspective and traditions nightly. Every library has a children’s librarian eager to suggest new (or old favorite) titles. On the subject of reading, consider a classic book as a gift each year. Building a personal library for a child fosters a lifelong love of reading, one value to focus on that continues throughout the year.

Here’s a holiday gift to you! New podcast on Mindful Perinatal Coping

The holidays are here with fun-filled and stress-filled times sandwiched together, not unlike raising children, work, marriage and other life pursuits. So, here are some recommendations to make the holidays calmer and happier.

First, have realistic expectations of yourself.  Many of us feel disappointed because our “fairytale images” don’t materialize. Instead, focus on feeling good from the inside out.  Build a fire and roast marshmallows, shop with a friend, or take a long walk in the woods.  Meditate, workout, read, or  listen to music.  Feed your soul.

Second, have realistic expectations of others.  No one’s family or friends are perfect, and the holidays won’t change this.  Since we can’t change them, we need to rely on ourselves to gather what’s positive and let go of the negative.  Create new family traditions so they don’t stir up bad memories.  If a situation becomes too negative, leave.

Likewise, don’t take relationship stress too personally. If your partner snaps about household clutter because they’re stringing Christmas lights while baking cookies, understand it’s their problem.  Don’t let them take their bad mood out on you but don’t react poorly either.  After all, love is the true intention of the season and it starts with you. Don’t take things personally and you’re more likely to remain kind.

To read more about how you can Stress Less and Live Better all year, check out my new book for guided exercises and questions for reflection. Follow me at Twitter and Facebook for conversation and support.

At Thanksgiving dinner, one of our family traditions is to go around the table and say what we’ve been grateful for this year. Even when your Thanksgiving meal ends, I challenge you this week to keep giving thanks every day.

Think about people you have met in your lifetime, the influence that each and every one of them has had on your life. Let someone know that you appreciate them. Call someone you’ve haven’t spoken to in a while and tell them what they mean to you. Thank someone for their time or kind gesture.

Then think about things you are thankful for: a pet, flowers in your garden, or the opportunity to travel. Giving thanks is a powerful positive message that can become part of your daily routine and improve your life. There are many benefits to giving thanks including that it makes our mood more positive and our stress seem less. Express gratitude today and always.

For more ideas on practicing an attitude of gratitude, check out my new book Stress Less Live Better and follow me at twitter or Facebook for conversation and support.

For 3 tips on practicing gratitude, listen to Dr. Sanford’s new YouTube video.

To learn more about how to give thanks every day, check out this new article.

So, this week I’ve been challenging everyone to perform random acts of kindness daily. Little did I know when I started this challenge how many random acts of kindness would come my way. Although I wasn’t planning to post until next week, this story is so inspiring, I wanted to share it.

Last night, my daughter Jessica flew in from Salt Lake City where she interviewed to become an anesthesia resident to St.Louis to interview tomorrow for an anesthesia residency position at Washington University. Her flight was on time but her luggage didn’t arrive. All her interview clothes were in her luggage and it became clear that it might not get here on time.

Now Jessica is the kind of person who plans out every detail of her life and this did not sit well with her. Instead of relaxing Sunday as planned, we rushed to the mall after breakfast  to look for a new suit and then shop for shoes. That’s when the kindnesses and grace began. At Banana Republic, a wonderful salesperson named Sheena, found a suit and blouse for her in less that 30-minutes. A blessing indeed. At DSW, she tried on two pair of shoes and the second pair fit and looked great. Another positive experience under difficult conditions.

But, it didn’t end there. When we got back to my house, Jessica got an email that Washington University scheduled her interview for Nov. 27 not Nov. 20. In under an hour, that situation got straightened out and she is interviewing tomorrow.

When I asked Jessica what she learned from these experiences, she said “Sometimes life sucks but it can turn out better than you imagine.” In my words, experience is always changing and when we think we’ve hit rock bottom, sometimes wonderful things begin to happen. Kindnesses we don’t expect. Grace we don’t anticipate. We never know what’s going to happen next.

In his poem The Guest House, the Persian poet Rumi says to welcome each experience in life whatever they bring. “Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.” Have a good week and a Happy Thanksgiving. Namaste.

Click here to learn more about Mindfulness at Washington University in St.Louis