Category: April Tips

It’s Monday: Do You Know Where Your Mind Is?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in April Tips, Monday Musings

Right now. This minute. What are you thinking about? Are you focusing on this post or is your mind elsewhere? Maybe you’re thinking about your to-do list or recalling or your visit with a good friend yesterday or waiting to hear from a colleague? But chances are that you’re not attending to the present moment, simply because most of the time we don’t.

This lack of present moment awareness, which afflicts us is affectionately called “mindlessness.” Studies show that we spend the majority of our time thinking about the future or past. However, the moments in our life which matter most are the ones in which we show up. Remember the last time you savored playing with your child, eating a tasty meal, walking in nature or taking a long, warm shower. Now, that’s satisfaction!

Since I just returned from a two-day conference on mindfulness, it’s on my mind and I plan to keep it there by posting about it. As a therapist, mom, woman and person, I think mindfulness is one of the best remedies for creating more joy and less stress. Research on mindfulness shows that it improves our health-body, mind, heart and soul, and that it may increase longevity.

But don’t take my word for it, try it yourself. Spend 15 minutes each day sitting quietly and focus on your breath, flowing in and out of your body. It may help to notice the rise and fall of your belly, your chest or sensations of the breath around your nostrils. Don’t judge your experience. Accept whatever happens. When thoughts occur, gently return your attention to the breath and observe its cycle from inhalation to exhalation.

If sitting still proves too challenging, choose any activity and pay attention to the accompanying sensations. When your mind strays, and it will, bring your focus back to what you’re doing. Like a lion, the mind runs wild but with time and practice, it can be tamed.

As always, let us know how it goes. All questions and comments are welcome.

The Healing Power of Connection

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in April Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

This morning I learned that Stacey’s mom was having some health issues. Last week it was my mom. When she asked if I’d fill in for her, I immediately said “Yes! You go take care of your mom.” Once again reminded of the fragility of life and how all we have is now.

Then while traveling today, I sat next to a 72 year-old man on the airplane who described to me his health challenges and triumphs. Despite his current diagnosis of prostate cancer, he was in good spirits and good health. He spoke about how he couldn’t have survived without the support of his wife and family. A testimony to the power of connection and feeling loved.

Although medicine has made many technical advancements, there is much research which demonstrates the healing power of connection through prayer, acts of kindness, friendship and social support. For women, the effects may be particularly strong.    

In meditation, there is a practice called “lovingkindness” which is a way of extending unconditional love and acceptance to others. It goes like this:

   “May you be at peace. May your heart remain open. May you know the beauty of your own true nature. May you be healed. May you be a source of healing to others.”

Let’s keep each other in our hearts and prayers for the next few days and maybe longer. Please join with me to send an extra dose of lovingkindness to Stacey and her mom.

When the Best Thing to Do is No-thing

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in April Tips, Monday Musings

Like learning it’s “okay to slow down” which I discussed last week, another ongoing life lesson for me is “doing no-thing”. Last week was busier than usual with family and work, and by Friday I was so hyped up, I’d decided to jump into my to-do list by 7:30 am. When my children were young this was routine, but now “I have options.” LOL.

Anyway, I had contacted my new web designer and set up an “urgent” meeting for that day, rearranged my weekend schedule and started to review my e-mail. All the time congratulating myself on what I would accomplish. Then, I noticed “IT”-a growing sense of tension and dis-ease, radiating from my gut and spreading through my body. My stomach is my stress center which is why I sometimes find myself unconsciously in the pantry reaching for carb-rich snacks.

Instead of ignoring what I was feeling, I stopped and listened. While it wasn’t easy, it was worthwhile. My frenzied attitude issued from a sense of urgency which didn’t exist-except in my head. No fatal or life-threatening consequences would befall me if I just let the day unfold which days tend to do quite well without effort . So, I did and almost immediately, started to feel better. By doing no-thing, I was giving my mind and body what it needed. Some rest.

I remembered how I first met Kay, my wonderful web designer, who agreed to meet with me Friday and then gladly cancelled, saying I probably did need to take a break. I was in the motor vehicle office waiting to renew my driver’s license. For months, I’d been looking for a web designer without success when I heard two women behind me talking about one of them launching a new design business. I turned around, apologized for eavesdropping, and gladly took Kay’s card. By doing no-thing, I found what I was looking for.

How will you practice doing no-thing this week? When you notice stress, stop and see what happens. Comment on “your discoveries” below.

Congratulations!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in April Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I spent the weekend watching movies on Showtime and its partner channels. Most of them were older, such as Medicine Man and The Core. As I watched, one thing stood out in each movie: recognition. Whether it’s a presentation of a new project or a potential cure for cancer, the characters wanted to make sure their names were included in the program/scientific journals.

As American culture dictates, we all work hard and try to be as productive as possible. But what do we work for (besides our paychecks)? Recognition or praise. Some managers recognize this need and make sure to praise their employees when appropriate. As a result, the employee will want to continue to work hard to keep worthy of the praise that was given to him/her. Recognition is a great motivator.

Praise is within your reach anytime you need it. This may be a difficult task, but pepper your self-talk with positive things. Instead of I am such an idiot! try I made a mistake, but I am human. I forgive myself. Extend your positivity to your children; praise them any time they are exhibiting pleasant behavior. Thank you for being such a helpful boy! encourages the child to be helpful more often. Giving praise to family, friends, co-workers, kids and especially yourself will make life much sunnier and definitely more peaceful. Happy April!

It’s Okay to Slow Down

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in April Tips, Monday Musings

That’s what my Dove chocolate wrapper said. “It’s okay to slow down.” That’s what my husband said after I dumped soil all over our porch instead of in the pot. “The plants aren’t in a hurry. They’ve got plenty of time to grow.”

“Okay I said,” not to my husband but to the universe, God or whatever you consider to be your higher power. I get the message.  Take a breath. Smell the flowers. Enjoy the beautiful spring day. What could be more important? Honestly, nothing but sometimes I am totally convinced, perhaps you are too, that getting things done is more important than savoring my life. As Wayne Dyer says, “We are human beings not human doings.”

So, for the past 24 hours I’ve been making a “conscious” effort to slow down. When my friend phoned Sunday morning and said she was “too pooped” to meet for coffee, I fixed myself a cup of tea and watched the bunnies playing outside my kitchen window. Then I showered with the new shampoo and soap I’d bought (because I like the smell), gave myself a mini-facial, and sat on my front porch admiring our beautiful crabapple tree with its amazing pink blooms. When I look at those blossoms, I remember that nature doesn’t strive or strain but just unfolds moment by moment.

I wish I could be more like our tree-standing still, soaking in the sun’s rays, content with just being. Not needing to answer e-mail, voicemail or my next text message. Not feeling compelled to check off another item on my to-do list. Letting life unfold through me-peacefully, gracefully, deliciously. Living and loving the moment I’m in.

This week take time to “slow down.” Spend 15 minutes each day focusing your attention on what you’re doing instead of rushing to get done. If you’re eating, pay attention to the texture, smell and taste of your food. If you’re outdoors, notice the colors, how the air/sun feels on your body and the sounds . Immerse yourself in the experience of NOW. Share a pix of your “NOW” moment below or on our facebook page.