Tag: ann dunnewold

The Miracle of Everyday Life

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Each January, we resolve to change ourselves and our ways so this year will be better than the year before.  We plan to be more organized, more motivated, more disciplined.  Always ” more,” and when we don’t succeed, we feel unhappy, inadequate and disappointed.  While goals are desirable, the miracle of everyday life is equally important.

Buddha  said, “Each morning we are born again.  What we do today is what matters most.”  Life occurs in the present.  If our gaze is too much on the future or in the past, we lose the chance to experience the abundance life offers.

I remember when my daughters were in elementary school and would burst in the door, chattering about the day.  Sometimes, I would listen.  Other times, I was occupied with work or making dinner, and wouldn’t  pay much attention.  I recall the disappointment on their faces when they saw I wasn’t interested.  Likewise, I recall how much I missed those chances during middle school and high school when it was far more important that they speak to their friends than me.

Now when they’re around and want to talk, I stop and listen.  At 18 and 22, they may not be around much longer.  I savor our moments together, and know it’s what matters most.  Buddha also said, “If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.”  Look for the miracle each day brings.  It’s right in front of us waiting to be found.

Diane's daughters

Scheduling Self-Care

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Wednesday Wisdom

I spent 2010 in a new-mom fog, topped off with postpartum depression. It seemed the day my son was born, I forgot how to care for myself as I learned to care for him. Now that I’m recovered from PPD and the shock of new parenthood, this year I’m refocusing on myself.

In 2011, I plan to spend less time on laundry and dusting and more time taking a bubble bath and reading a book.  Less time overscheduled, angry, and worried and more time playing, giggling, and snuggling.

But how can this be accomplished without neglecting my obligations? I hear so many mothers ask themselves and each other this.  Ironically, I feel the answer is  scheduling—relax, it’s the good kind! Grab your calendar and pick one date each week to devote 2 hours (or a whole evening if you can) to doing something JUST FOR YOU. I’m not talking about an hour online replying to emails! I mean a shopping trip for a new (maybe impractical) pair of shoes or a solo trip to the local coffeehouse with your favorite novel or best friend. If you have children,

Real Mom James with Jax

the minute you have your dates selected for the month, grab your phone and plan your childcare for the entire month. Trust me, this will keep you accountable!

Simple enough, right?  To nurture others, you must first nurture yourself.

Today’s author is James of James & Jax, a blog about discovering her new self after becoming a mom.

Time for Self-Care: Self-Preserving Not Selfish!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

This month we’ve been talking about self-care and the importance of making it part of our lives. Last week, our guest blogger Mommie Kate, had some simple self-care tips which many moms appreciated.  Still, the issue of time stops many women from practicing self-care.  

 In our new book, Life Will Never be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide,  Ann and I devote an entire chapter to the obstacles that get in our way.   Here’s what we write about making time for self-care. 

1. Self-Care is a Choice:

“Children are demanding. They make their needs known. Messy houses scream: “Load these dishes” or “Make that bed.” Bosses inflict deadlines.  Your needs sink to the bottom of the list.  But, no one will make time for you or take care of you if you don’t.  No one will realize your needs if you don’t speak up.  Choose to put yourself first-at least once a day. ”

2. Adjust your expectations

“Another part of making time for yourself  is adjusting your expectations about how much time is needed.  Learn to think small. Take five minutes to practice deep breathing.   Or take twenty minutes to disappear into the bedroom when your partner comes home.  Use multi-tasking, too.   Lie on the floor with a magazine, next to the baby while he has his “tummy time,” and coo to him. Walk or jog with your infant.  Repeat to yourself, “Time for me is essential,” “My baby deserves a happy, healthy mom.”

For more ideas, preview our book at www.realmomexperts.com.

Simple Strategies For Self-Care

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Wednesday Wisdom

Think you don’t have the time or money to pamper yourself? Not to worry… I want to share some ways I squeeze in inexpensive “quickies” to nurture myself. Utilize 5-15 minute increments sprinkled throughout the day to take care of yourself while taking care of everything and everyone else.

  1. Flavor your coffee with fancy creamer BEFORE the rest of the family awakes. Read something uplifting or humorous to start the day on a positive note.
  2. If your children are jumping on that last nerve, put yourself in time out. For 3-5 minutes breathe deeply then hum a happy tune.
  3. Bathe young children during the day. While they’re playing in the water, read a novel or catch up on your favorite blogs on a laptop/smart phone right there in the bathroom.  It’s also an excellent opportunity for a facial scrub/mask or to paint fingernails (one thin coat of light iridescent pink dries fast and chips are less noticeable).
  4. Utilize kids’ nap time for craft projects, a good movie, or a nap yourself. Resist the urge to do chores. Resting IS productive.
  5. Time/childcare permitting, make a date with yourself. Spend an hour or two visiting the library, coffee shop, salon, or art galleries-whatever you enjoy.
  6. Monitor and eliminate negative self-talk. Speak kindly to yourself. Challenges are just opportunities to find another way.
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Real woman Mommie Kate

Each day, be good to yourself. You’re worth it! Today’s author is Mommie Kate who offers tips and encouragement for busy moms at Practical Faith for Everyday Life.

Smell the Roses: They’re Always There

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Many times I figure out what my New Year’s resolution is after the new year starts. That’s what happened this past week.  I woke up Wednesday night thinking, “Stop struggling.  Enjoy the good life you have.”  Don’t get carried away and think my life is perfect.  It isn’t.  Although Ann and I teach  self-care, we are equally challenged to make it part of our daily lives.

The New Year is about how to improve life and ourselves rather than savor what’s already working.  In fact, last week I talked about taking small steps to make change stick which still applies because it’s  challenging to “smell the roses” when facing the “daily grind” as one of my clients puts it.  When did we decide that life had to be difficult and stressful instead of satisfying and joyful?  How often do we hear each other say, “I’m so stressed.  There just aren’t enough hours in the day.”   It’s the mantra of modern life.

I’m listening to Deepak Chopra‘s Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul: How to Create a New You. He says that reconnecting with our soul’s inner guidance can make our lives easier.  Well, mine woke me up last week and I’m resolved to spend more time soaking up the sunshine and appreciating my blessings.  My family, friends, comfy home, writing with Ann, work I love , and the wonderful community of women whose lives have touched mine.  Each day is a gift.  Even in the darkest night, the stars shine.

New Year for a New You

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

There’s always the classic “Top 10” list for resolutions: 1. More time with
family and friends; 2. Fitness; 3. Tame the bulge; 4. Quit smoking; 5. Enjoy life more; 6. Quit drinking; 7. Get out of debt; 8. Learn  something new; 9. Help others; and lastly: 10. Get organized. What seems to be missing from this list? Self-care! Granted some of these “Top 10” touch on the concept of self-care, but what does it really mean to create a “new you” and stick with it all year round? What are you going to do to make sure you break your bad habits and take care of yourself more and really mean it?

Real woman Mollee Bauer of pregnancy.org

Last time I touched on how self-care should be a revolution. I still believe that whole-heartedly. Taking time out of your day to meditate, laugh a bit,  eat right, do for yourself first, even smile with yourself, is crucial to being a productive and happy woman. It’s a new year – a clean slate – let’s fill that slate with powerful and beneficial actions of self-care! Find a tip or two on this site! You won’t be sorry!

At  www.pregnancy.org, we’re in a similar business. We give women the tools to not only empower themselves, to feel safe and secure but also advice on how to take care of themselves, pamper themselves, and make certain they have the tools necessary to meet each daily  challenge.

Today’s guest author is  Mollee Bauer,  Founder & General Manager of www.pregnancy.org.

How to Make the Most of Your New Year’s Resolutions

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Everyone starts the New Year’s with the best intentions.  Determined to make changes to improve their lives in significant ways.  And what happens?  Most of us fail miserably.  Instead of aiming for the moon, we need to undertake small, attainable goals.  Like practicing self-care 15 minutes a day (which many have remarked is difficult enough).

Breaking the change into smaller steps can  make it easier to achieve.  For example, if someone wants to lose 50 pounds this year, start with losing 1-2 pounds each week.  To do this, a person has to reduce their daily calorie intake by 500 calories each day or increase their activity to burn an extra 500 calories a day.  Doesn’t this sound less daunting?  By changing how we think about our goals, we can improve our motivation and persistence.

Likewise, it’s important to set our daily attention on what we want to do different.  When we get up in the morning, spend 5 minutes visualizing the desired change and let it be known that “Today I will make this happen.”  Once the intention is set, go about the day normally.  Remember,  life responds to what we put our attention and intention on.

Finally, if we get off track, don’t become self-critical.  Since what we think about expands, this only leads to feeling worse and diminishing motivation and persistence.  Instead, use this as a learning opportunity to re-evaluate what may need to be done and re-calibrate the next step.  Each moment affords  a new choice.  Success is only a step away.

Finding Your Happy Place

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

 You just wrapped up your holiday festivities and this years’ “fun” has left you more stressed than ever.  It’s time to find your happy place.

Your happy place is the place you go when you need to rejuvenate.  It can be your bath tub or your favorite chair where you can escape with a good book.  And if your happy place is a beach in Aruba where you know you can’t literally go, escape there in your mind.  The point is you need to get to that happy place and you really should visit daily.  Some experts say taking just 15 minutes a day for YOU can make all the difference in the world in your outlook and your health.  Don’t think you have 15 minutes for you? Well, if you believe it’s simply not possible, you’ll be right. But imagine how sweet it would be if you were wrong on this one!

Think about all the things you consider important in life.  Shouldn’t you be on that list?  Where do you go to escape the stress of daily life? Tell me about it and inspire other moms to find their happy place, too.

Today’s guest author is Desiree Miller, mom of 4, who developed her motherhood expertise into a baby planning business, www.bottlestobritches.com. 

As Ann and I said many times during the 21-day self-care challenge, 15 minutes  is a great start toward filling your emotional pitcher and making your  health and well-being a priority.  Go Desiree.

After Christmas Prescription: Rest and Restore

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

I was visiting with my cousin at my mother’s annual holiday party when he commented to me he was glad to have “endured” Christmas.  I told him that once his children were older, like mine who are now 22 and 18, he would enjoy the holiday more.  I recalled how I felt after decorating, shopping, wrapping, and celebrating with the girls in tow, and how my joy was tempered by exhaustion.

Our self-care tip this post-holiday week is to rest and recharge your battery.  Don’t put pressure on yourself for playdates, taking the children out or visiting friends and family unless that’s easier for you.  Resist preparing  gourmet meals, downloading holiday pictures or catching up on errands.  You have the entire  year ahead.

What to do instead?  Rest.  Restore.  Recharge.  No child has ever died from a diet of hot dogs and macaroni.  In fact, many of them prefer it.  They will gladly wear the same clothes and don’t care if their rooms are a mess.  Also, let them entertain themselves.  What about the new toys they took seconds to unwrap?  They can play with them!

For a healthy and happy new year, you need to have the energy to enjoy it.  As Ann and I always say, you must keep your pitcher filled to take care of yourself and those you love.  Don’t run yourself ragged like little Spudgy and miss out on the fun.  Give yourself a break this week.  You deserve it.   And get some sleep.

A holiday challenge

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas / Ev’rywhere you go…”  A beautiful reminder for those who love and celebrate this holiday to see all the decorations:  houses lit up on cold winter nights, bell ringers outside stores with “SALE” signs in windows, even Santa sledding on an electric razor on television.

For those of us who are not Christians, however, it’s a constant reminder of our differentness.  The saturation of our culture in the Christmas holiday makes this a difficult time of year.  How do those of us who swim against the tide maintain perspective in the midst of the season?

For me, I remind myself of what’s really important to me.  I find the commercialism and gift-giving particularly difficult and have tried to bow out of family activities that involve gift-giving.  But I’ve come to realize that, though this tradition isn’t meaningful to me, it makes the grandparents happy to give my children gifts, and my children feel loved and happy  receiving those gifts.

I also remember that the basics of living my self-care are more important than ever  this time of year:  deep breathing, regular exercise, healthy food choices, a good night’s sleep.  I  make the holiday my own as much as possible, holding to traditions that are meaningful to me and letting go of the rest.  “Peace on earth and goodwill toward men” is a gift I give myself every year.

JoshuaDavisPhotography

Thank you to Angela, mom of 2 from Wisconsin, for this invaluable perspective in today’s post.