Tag: mental health

If Not Now, When?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in how to stress less, Mind/Body Health, Mindfulness, stress reduction

Whenever my clients tell me that after they started feeling better, suddenly they feel worse, I ask them if they’ve been practicing their healthier lifestyle habits including self-care and stress reduction which were helping them feel better. Usually, they say “No.” Most of them tell me they thought they didn’t need to practice any longer because they felt better and just expected it to last without committing themselves to making these changes part of their life. They are truly shocked when they learn that routinely practicing self-care and stress reduction is key to feeling good. But…it is.

Well, this past week, I decided to disregard my own good advice about self-care and managing stress wisely. You’d think after 35 years of advising clients to ABSOLUTELY NOT stop practicing their stress reducing skills once they began feeling good, I’d know better. Wrong!!! When I realized I’d fallen back into my lifelong habit of overdoing and not taking enough time to rest and recharge, I knew it was time to make a different choice. Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.”

I reminded myself that if I wanted to keep feeling better, I needed to slow down, rest more and push myself less. After all, I’m still recovering from my temporary hearing loss but as human beings we are creatures of habit and old habits die hard. But, we can learn new habits that support our health and well-being if we choose to. Over time, these healthier choices can become our way of responding rather than our old unhealthy ones. With attention, effort and practice, change is possible. If not now, when

Here’s some podcasts and YouTube videos of exercises to help get you started: https://drdianesanford.com/media/podcasts/ https://drdianesanford.com/media/youtube/

Taking a Leap of Faith

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Self-Care

Hello Followers!

One of my favorite sayings is “Man plans and God laughs.” Except when it happens to me. Like right now. The timing isn’t lost on me though. We’re already in the season of reflection and new beginnings with Easter, Passover and Spring. Time for the new little buds to come up from underground and stretch their delicate tendrils towards the sky. Instead, mine were plowed down, reminding me of how often I had to pull the weeds last year.

Back story: In 2009 I lost my hearing in my right ear to a “benign” tumor, which was successfully removed in 2014. Then I used to joke about being a psychologist who could only hear with one ear–which honestly works pretty well. Then last Sunday, I noticed I was having trouble hearing with the good one which sent me into a tailspin (from which I am still recovering) but coping much better than I thought and I want to share with you why.

Coping or Collapsing: I know it’s hard to believe you have choice in what happens next and that’s the lesson for today. Monday after seeing my doctor, I fell apart and decided I was doomed. I would never hear again. That’s how sneaky our auto-pilot is. Those reoccurring catastrophic thoughts that become so unruly and convincing especially under severe and prolonged stress (think COVID). However, because they feel strong, a nuclear bomb of automatic negative thoughts, we surrender our rational mind to our emotional, stress-ridden, fear mongering brain. The good news is you can do something about it.

What I’m doing: So I got out my light saber and prepared to do battle, knowing that distracting myself is the only mindfulness skill that works for me in an emergency. I cleaned my bedroom closet, my six-drawer dresser, decluttered boxes of stuff and re-organized and decluttered 4 bookcases. It helps that I’m on Prednisone 60mg to sustain my manic fervor. A while later I started feeling calmer. I controlled what I could and let go of what I couldn’t. I took the rest of the week off and made plans to see family and friends which comforts me. I did some yoga, took a lavender and lemon scented bath and washed and blowdried my hair because it’s stress-relieving I can still here that sound. Mostly I’m hanging in there and keeping my head above water. 

Visit drdianesanford.com for resources and guided instructions on what you can do to keep from falling  into the pit of despair. Together, we can learn to Stress Less and Live Better.

And in the meantime…read Rachel Sanford, LCSW’s bio here and check out her blog post from last month here. Rachel is following in my footsteps and started practicing with me in January 2022 after obtaining her license in clinical social work in June 2021. She has the rare quality of being a bright and technically skilled therapist who is empathetic, intuitive, caring, respectful and compassionate. She is truly an “old soul” and I am her very proud mom! 

Wishing you a happy Passover, Easter, Ramadan or other holidays you might be celebrating this Spring!

Rachel is Accepting new Clients

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Self-Care

Hi followers!

Rachel Sanford here. Sanford 2.0, the younger Sanford, or just Rachel—whichever you prefer.

I’ve always been interested in psychology and mental health—not just because my mother is a wonderful psychologist—but because I’ve struggled with mental health since as early as I can remember. As a child, I noticed that I was different from my peers at school and dealt with anxiety and depression, I just didn’t know what to call them yet.

In undergrad I both started studying psychology, as well as finally starting to seriously address  and talk about my own mental health. I told my primary care doctor that I was feeling down, and she asked me to define how long (which I knew she was doing to get an idea of my diagnosis) and I told her the last couple years, although I knew it was much longer than that. 

I started on Zoloft and was taking it late in the evening but it messed with my sleep for a long time. Everyone is different and some of my friends do fine with taking it in the evening, but it turns out that if it’s keeping you up late you probably need to take it in the morning. I learned that years later after finally seeing a psychiatrist. It didn’t do me any favors that during most of my 20s I used alcohol to cope with stress in addition to trying to figure out my medication and other behaviors that would support my journey to improve my mental health. 

I took a couple years off after graduating with my Bachelor’s in Psychology and worked on eating disorder research—a disorder that is also part of my story. Dealing with my own mental health issues has included issues with having a positive body image, my relationship with food, and using exercise in moderation.

I have dealt with anxiety around social situations and public speaking and am now in a professional role where I do public speaking engagements monthly, recruit new partner organizations through meeting new people, and force myself to go outside of my comfort zone all the time. I believe that with support including therapy, practice dealing with uncomfortable situations and medication, people with mental health conditions can live normal lives and do things they tell themselves that they can’t.

After completing my Master’s in Social Work and becoming an LCSW, I’ve been able to start working with clients, which is what I’ve always wanted to do. I want to help people effectively deal with their mental health issues as logically and simply as they deal with physical health issues. I may not understand exactly what you’re going through, but I will do my best to listen and give you advice on how to best deal with your mental health so you can live and enjoy your life and get back to doing everything you want to do.

I’m currently accepting new clients, so please feel free to contact me at rachelsanford73@gmail.com or (314) 326-8677 to set up an initial session. My rates are listed on our website under my tab, and you can also find more information on my educational and professional background here. www.drdianesanford.com/rachel-sanford/

This is my assistant. She has no thumbs and a very limited attention span, so if there’s a delay in my response you know why.

Time to Celebrate: Introducing Rachel Sanford, MSW, LCSW

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Self-Care

Hello!

I am so excited to share this wonderful news with you!

My daughter, Rachel Sanford, will be joining my practice in January. Rachel completed her
Master’s in Social Work in 2018 and her licensure as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in June of this year.

Check out Rachel’s bio and more here.


We wish you and your families a happy and healthy holiday season, and we look forward to
working with you in the New Year!

With Warm Regards,
Dr. Diane Sanford (and Daughter)

Taming Your Worried and Anxious Thoughts About COVID-19

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Self-Care

When I looked at the post we planned to run next, I discovered it was already about worried thoughts. As my children liked to say, “You must have ESP-N.” Actually, it’s more about the fact that so many of us, myself and my clients included, worry about what’s to come which we can’t predict and often doesn’t occur. Likewise, the more we follow the pack and get caught up in the crowd hysteria, the weaker we become at controlling individual anxiety and concern. While I am totally convinced that COVID-19 is real and that we need to take precautions to stay well, I think we need to take steps to lessen our fear or we’ll be carried away by it.

Here are 5 tips you can use now to tame your worry and anxiety:

  1. Thoughts are NOT facts. Worries and fears become convincing because the more anxious we feel, the more they seem real to us and the more we tell ourselves the bad event will happen. Think about the last time you were convinced that something catastrophic was likely to occur. Speaking to a client on Friday, she was able to tell me that two of the last situations she decided would be unfortunate, never occurred. Mark Twain said, “I am an old man and have suffered a great many misfortunes, most of which never occurred.”
  2. Thoughts come and go like the weather. Close your eyes for a moment and notice how often what you’re thinking about changes from one moment to another. Then picture your changing thoughts like clouds passing through the sky, leaves flowing down a stream, waves peaking and diminishing on the ocean or any image that comes to mind for you. Practice this every time a worried or fearful thought occurs and try instead to think of something pleasant or neutral like saying your ABC’s or counting backwards from 100 by sevens.
  3. What we think about expands and what we don’t think about gets smaller. This is why so many people are frightened by COVID-19 because that’s all they’ve been thinking about. I know that by the end of last week when there was so much conversation about it inside and outside of my office, I had moments when I felt convinced we were all going to perish. Be careful with social media and what you talk about to friends. Limit your listening or watching or reading the news to 15 minutes twice a day or less. Stay off your phone and close your computer. There is nothing to be gained!
  4. Control what you can and let go of what you can’t. Practice good personal hygiene including washing your hands thoroughly, using hand sanitizer, and wiping shared surfaces down. I went to a home and garden show a week ago and I was the only one in our group of 4 that used the hand sanitizer that was available on the way in and out of the show, and one of the few people using it at all. Be certain to sleep well, stay physically active, be mindful of what you think about and nourish your body with healthy foods and thoughts. Doing these things will improve your immunity and strengthen your mental health even when there’s not a crisis.  
  5. If you really want to be prepared for what life brings, practice these four tips routinely. In my book Stress Less Live Better, I often say that “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” However, if you’re not actively practicing the tips above or in my book, they won’t work. As Nike says, “Just do it.” If you follow these tips daily or at least several times for the next few weeks, I’m confident you’ll feel better and less fearful. It will keep you from following down the rabbit hole of despair and allow you to be more clear headed whatever comes your way.

Settle Your Thoughts video

CDC Article on How to Protect Yourself During COVID-19

Finding Your Happy Place

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Self-Care

You just wrapped up your holiday festivities and this years’ “fun” has left you more stressed than ever.  It’s time to find your happy place.

Your happy place is the place you go when you need to rejuvenate.  It can be your bath tub or your favorite chair where you can escape with a good book.  And if your happy place is a beach in Aruba where you know you can’t literally go, escape there in your mind.  The point is you need to get to that happy place and you really should visit daily.  Some experts say taking just 15 minutes a day for YOU can make all the difference in the world in your outlook and your health.  Don’t think you have 15 minutes for you? Well, if you believe it’s simply not possible, you’ll be right. But imagine how sweet it would be if you were wrong on this one!

Think about all the things you consider important in life.  Shouldn’t you be on that list?  Where do you go to escape the stress of daily life? Tell me about it and inspire other moms to find their happy place, too.

Today’s guest author is Desiree Miller, mom of 4, who developed her motherhood expertise into a baby planning business, www.bottlestobritches.com.

As Ann and I said many times during the 21-day self-care challenge, 15 minutes  is a great start toward filling your emotional pitcher and making your  health and well-being a priority.  Go Desiree.

Warts of Worry

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Self-Care

Worrying about something occasionally is part of life. But when worries start squeezing out other thoughts, then you may be wrestling with the “Warts of Worry.”

This occurs when there are multiple sources of perceived stress in your life. I emphasize “perceived” because what stresses one person may not effect another.  As perceived stress intensifies, it may lead to frequently asking worrisome questions or second-guessing yourself.  Some people experience it so often that most of their thoughts are worried ones.

Think about it: how many times have you worried for a long period of time over something and then handle it just fine when the the worrisome situation occurs? Anticipatory anxiety is almost always worse than facing the actual event itself.

One of the best techniques for “worry busting” is consciously focussing your mind on what’s going on at this moment.  This is also referred to as mindfulness.  By using your senses to notice what’s going on around you, you’ll find that there’s little room for the Warts of Worry.  While this can be quite  challenging for women because we tend to multi-task constantly, with daily practice and redirecting your attention to the present, you’ll be evicting those Warts quicker than you imagine!

Real Mom Stacey

Stacey Glaesmann, LPC has a private counseling practice in Pearland, Texas and specializes in treating perinatal mood disorders. She wrote her first book, “What About Me? A Simple Guide to Self-Care in the 21st Century” in 2007. She can be reached through her website at http://www.pearlandtherapy.com.

A Holiday Challenge

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Self-Care

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas / Ev’rywhere you go…”  A beautiful reminder for those who love and celebrate this holiday to see all the decorations:  houses lit up on cold winter nights, bell ringers outside stores with “SALE” signs in windows, even Santa sledding on an electric razor on television.

For those of us who are not Christians, however, it’s a constant reminder of our differentness.  The saturation of our culture in the Christmas holiday makes this a difficult time of year.  How do those of us who swim against the tide maintain perspective in the midst of the season?

For me, I remind myself of what’s really important to me.  I find the commercialism and gift-giving particularly difficult and have tried to bow out of family activities that involve gift-giving.  But I’ve come to realize that, though this tradition isn’t meaningful to me, it makes the grandparents happy to give my children gifts, and my children feel loved and happy  receiving those gifts.

I also remember that the basics of living my self-care are more important than ever  this time of year:  deep breathing, regular exercise, healthy food choices, a good night’s sleep.  I  make the holiday my own as much as possible, holding to traditions that are meaningful to me and letting go of the rest.  “Peace on earth and goodwill toward men” is a gift I give myself every year.

JoshuaDavisPhotography

Thank you to Angela, mom of 2 from Wisconsin, for this invaluable perspective in today’s post.

Three Steps to Teachable Holiday Moments

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Self-Care

The holidays often sucks us into the gimmes, just like our kids, as we make the holidays happen. We easily lose track of the underlying message of the season for our kids. Consider these focused activities to reconnect with the holiday lessons:

1) CHOOSE actively, in line with your values. Stop and consider what you want to teach about the holiday season. You might want to say no if an event is too commercial, or detracts from planned family time. It’s fine to focus on fun–and opt out if an event is more drudgery or duty than pleasure. This is your holiday, too, and you have the right to celebrate it in a way that is meaningful and enjoyable for you. What a good example for your children!

2) INVOLVE everyone in the process of giving, helping small children pick out toys for the holiday toy drive, donate from their piggy banks to the bell ringer at the grocery, or make macaroni necklaces for favorite aunts or sitters. Older children might perform a chore, or sing/perform on an instrument for neighbors, visiting family, or residents of a senior living community.

3) READ one book about your spiritual perspective and traditions nightly. Every library has a children’s librarian eager to suggest new (or old favorite) titles. On the subject of reading, consider a classic book as a gift each year. Building a personal library for a child fosters a lifelong love of reading, one value to focus on that continues throughout the year.

Give Thanks Everyday

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Self-Care

There have been certain times in my life that were more challenging than others. Challenges not only make you stronger, but they force you to get out of your normal and comfortable routine. Without challenges in our lives there is no room for growth or opportunity for gratitude.

My experience with postpartum depression was negative and frightening, but I am thankful that it created the stronger, better, mom and person I am now. I am thankful that my experience led me to help other moms struggling with the same feelings and let them know that they are not alone. I am thankful to have met so many wonderful people on my life’s journey.

Think about people you have met in your lifetime, the influence that each and every one of them has had on your life. Let someone know that you appreciate them. Thank someone for their time or kind gesture. Think about things you are you thankful for: a pet, flowers in your garden, the opportunity to travel. Giving thanks is a powerful positive message that can become part of your daily routine and improve your life. I didn’t learn to give thanks; it was something I created within myself. There are many benefits to giving thanks. Express gratitude today and always.

Linda Meyer is the Executive Director of Mother to Mother in St. Louis, MO. Mother to Mother provides free telephone support, group support and resources to women experiencing emotional difficulties during pregnancy and postpartum. www.mothertomothersupport.org