Tag: stacey glaesmann

Spring is the Time to Take Control

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in March Tips, Monday Musings

Spring has come to symbolize a time for new beginnings, starting from a clean slate, or thinking about the choices we’ve made or didn’t make. Take a moment to think about the past year, and how it played out. Are you satisfied? What would you change?

Paul Simon in a song said, “Seasons change with the scenery, weaving time in a tapestry…” Our lives are complex and at times complicated. Do we give ourselves the chance to start anew? How much do we care about what we’re going through at any given moment?

Logically, we all care on some level. That’s what self-care is all about. It’s more than getting a massage, being nice to yourself, or getting yourself flowers. Don’t get me wrong, that’s all great stuff, but we need to do more for ourselves, each other, and in our community.

The most common phrase we hear from other women (including ourselves) is, “I don’t have time to…” Why don’t we? What is the real reason? What prevents us from embracing inner peace, health and wellness, or achieving success?

More often than not it’s fear and doubt. This pair is among the top killers of innovation, success, and happiness. This spring, clobber the dirty duo and engage with your inner you, take charge and reset!

 

 

Today’s guest author is Mollee Bauer, founder of pregnancy.org, the premiere website for info and support for pregnant and new moms.

 

Regretfully Yours…

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in March Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Dictionary.com defines regret as “a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.” When I hear people speak of their regrets, they are usually thinking about their pasts. But we all know that we can’t change the past and we can’t predict the future. So, what function do regrets really have?

Author Rory Cochrane once said, “I do not regret the things I’ve done, but those I did not do.” So whether you’re thinking of something you wish you hadn’t done or maybe something you wish you had, regret can function as a guide for present-moment decisions. And all we have is the gift of right now – that’s why it’s called the “present.”

Personally, I can honestly say I have no regrets. I’m one of those people that believe that everything happens for a reason, so what is there to regret? The Cochrane quote really had a big impact on me the first time I read it. I have been an anxious person most of my life, and was allowing the fear to make my world smaller and smaller. Reading that quote made something “click” in my head and helped me say “yes” to things that I wanted to do but usually would have said “no” to out of fear of the unknown.

Are there things that you regret? Perhaps there’s a person that you’d like to reconnect with or a situation that you can correct. Today is the first day of March. While Spring doesn’t officially start until the 20th, why not start anew today? Fix the things you can and work on letting go of the things you can’t. Regret, like guilt, can be an excellent motivator, but hanging onto it too long is just a waste of precious energy.

Don’t Let Conflict (Or Fear) Destroy Your Relationships

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

February is the month that is the most closely associated with romantic relationships. But what about other relationships? We have many of them: kids, parents, siblings, in-laws, friends. Sometimes it’s easy to avoid or ignore a relationship and let it die. At times, it’s essential to cut ties with people who are unhealthy for you. But what about the people we love, but won’t interact with?

Relationships die for many reasons. Conflict is a big factor in this. I have a friend who moved away several years ago. She didn’t move that far; her home is just a few hours away (can you tell I live in Texas yet?). But I don’t know what’s going on in her life anymore and she doesn’t know about mine.

This is a woman I have known for 15 years. We used to talk about everything and help each other out whenever needed. What happened to us? We had a big argument right after she moved. Neither one of us would budge. Now I feel sad every time I think of her.

I’m afraid to call her. “What if she hates me?” I always think. Most likely this is a distorted thought. I know that if she called me, I would be glad to hear from her. So, I am going to make that call today.

I urge you to reconnect with anyone that is special to you who you have avoided due to conflict. It can be scary to face but most of the time, anger dissolves into relief once you take the steps to reach out.

Give yourSELF a Valentine

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Please indulge me for a moment whilst I tell you about my outlook on Valentine’s
Day (VD). Remember that I am married, so while I have a “Valentine,” I believe that NOBODY is “ineligible” for VD.

I think VD is a “Hallmark Holiday.” It’s a day for the flower, card, candy and nice
meal sellers to cash in. It’s a day filled with joy – yes, for some. But it’s also a day for loneliness, depression and guilt for others. I asked my husband years ago to not buy me anything for VD. I’d rather get a token of his affection on a random day when it’s not expected. Instead, I indulge my Self on VD. I’d like to challenge you to make this VD all about your Self, too, no matter what your “Valentine” status is.

So how do you do this? Some of the things that I have done include going for a mani/pedi (go during the middle of the day so they are not crowded if
you can), getting a massage, locking my Self in my bedroom and reading ALL DAY, looking on the Internet for my favorite flower arrangement to buy for my Self the day after VD (at a real discount!), and cooking my Self my favorite dish to enjoy on my own.

What things can you think of that you might like to do for your Self on VD? It doesn’t have to cost any money, can be done any time of day or night, and does not require another person (though maybe you’d like to share your VD gift to your Self with someone). It’s your challenge! Leave your ideas in the comments section!!

Loving the Body You’re In

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

One of my guilty pleasures is People Magazine. I was looking through this week’s edition and found myself paused at an article about actress Kelly Preston. She is the wife of John Travolta, and they tragically lost their 16 year-old son in 2009. Miraculously, she got pregnant in 2010 and gave birth to a baby boy last year at age 49. I paused because the article was not about how resilient she is or about her new family – it was about how she lost 42 lbs. in 14 months.

Can I get a collective “WHO CARES” here? It’s not the weight loss that I wanted to know about, but I didn’t have a choice. Society is so hyper-focused on appearance! “This diet is great! 30 is the new 50! Size 14 is the new Size 2!” Huh?

Today is the second day of February, a month often dedicated to love and
relationships. Here at Living Self-Care, we’re going to be focusing on that, too. Today, I want you to take a look at your relationship with your Self; the part of your SELF that carries you around every day, keeping you alive and doing the physical stuff: your body. How often do you look in the mirror and compare what you see to popular media, friends, family…everything? Comparisons are useless. Somehow, we always lose. The grass is always greener and all that.

My challenge to you this February is to look in the mirror daily and find one thing you either like or feel neutral about. It can be anything about your face, yourbody, your sense of style, your hair – anything. Acknowledge it. Appreciate it. And then try not to compare…because there’s no one quite like you!

Oh, Where Does the Time Fly?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

[OK, please don’t smack me!] Wow! It’s already more than half way through
January, 2012! Can you even believe it? One of the things that I have never truly
been able to do successfully is to set aside a normal “regular” day to be more of
a “really important” one here and there. If you look at every day as a gift, true “lesser important” days can’t even occur.

Every day is as significant as the last; however, it may just not appear that way because a lot of “normal ol’ stuff” and “regular” days do have a lot of overlap. Yes, we get up, go to work, perhaps go to the gym, rinse and repeat. That’s one of the reasons health and fitness professionals suggest that a varied routine is one that you will stick to over the weeks, months and years – well, that, and getting a workout buddy! There’s just something nice about knowing that another person is trying to do the exact same thing you are and is probably experiencing the exact same obstacles, too. Put your two heads together and perhaps you’ll be able to surmount the same challenges in half the time!

If working out isn’t your thing, buddying up with someone pursuing the same goal still improves your chances for success. In fact, social support is key in making change stick. Join us in encouraging each other to keep livingselfcare one day at a time. Together, let’s create the changes and lives we desire.

Make New Year’s Resolutions You Can Keep

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

The New Year is a time of renewal and change, but what, exactly, ARE New Year’s Resolutions?

Dictonary.com defines “resolution” as: the mental state or quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose. Resolute alludes to making a decision; a popular one being losing weight. However, the difference between a decision and a resolution is significant. It’s easy to say, “I’m going to the gym three times per week this year.” It is also easy to NOT go to the gym three times per week. So, unless you stick with a plan (or resolution), you have not made a decision.

So, what makes a good New Year’s Resolution?

Number one: it has to be realistic. You cannot expect yourself to go from exercising only when you go up the stairs to getting to the gym 5 days per week! Number two: you have to know it’s attainable: if there’s no gym in your town and you would have to drive 25 miles to get there, then how attainable is that, really? Number three: it has to be important. If you make a resolution to lose 10 pounds and you really don’t care if it happens, then its not important to you.

Here are some ideas for Self-Care New Year’s Resolutions:

Stacey Glaesmann, LPC

• Take 15 minutes every day for “me” time
• Set aside 30 minutes to 2 hours per week to be completely lazy (do nothing
productive during this time)
• Say “no” more often
• Visualize yourself in your “Happy Place” five minutes per day

Meet Stacey Glaesmann, Our New Self-Care Expert

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Hi! My name is Stacey Glaesmann, LPC. I am a counselor in private practice near Houston, TX. I wrote my first book, “What About Me? A Simple Guide to Self-Carein the 21st Century,” in 2007. If you want to take a look, visit http://www.pearlandtherapy.com.

What got me interested in self-care is that I kept noticing ALL of my clients were
concentrating on other people and external situations. This was draining their
mental resources. Some clients even made themselves sick because they never
took time for themselves. And honestly, I was doing the same thing. I felt unimportant because all I did was give. Now, with a daily self-care regimen that includes yoga and 30 minutes of “me time,” my cup gets replenished and THEN I can be of service to others.

I have been through a lot in my life, as I am sure you have. I have a
12 year-old daughter and a wonderful husband. I suffered from Postpartum Panic Disorder and Depression and I now know that one of the reasons I got sick was because I was NOT taking care of myself.

I am thrilled to be joining Diane at Living Self-Care. It’s my passion and I hope that my input makes a difference in just one life (more would be cool, too!). If you have any questions please feel free to email me at sglaesmann@yahoo.com. I’ll be seeing you on Thursdays! Remember: if your cup isn’t full, you won’t have anything to give others. Keep that cup full!

Pick Your Pie

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

“For those of you who feel overwhelmed and yet can’t see what you could eliminate from your schedule, I’d like to address a few things here. First, I want you to know that life really isn’t a competition. I think we can all agree that a little competitiveness is good-it motivates, keeps us on our toes and helps us do our best. But when you feel everything you do is being compared to someone else, it can make you a little crazy!

I’m not knocking being the best at something. But there are tons of other positions in life. You’re probably familiar with them despite killing your Self to be number one. I’m urging you right now to just do the best you can (and let your kids do the same) and then relax.

Instead of ‘putting your fingers in so many pies’ I’m urging you to limit your kids’ activities to one, maybe two, things a week. Just think how much more family time you’ll have! I’m urging you to choose one, maybe two volunteer activities you feel passionate about and let the others go. You will find you have more time and energy than you’ve had in a long time. Believe me when I say no one is judging you for what you are or aren’t doing. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own lives to give yours more than a brief notice.”

Today’s author is Stacey Glaesmann, MA, LPC. Her book is What About Me?