Category: Thursday “Words of Wisdom”

Give Thanks Everyday

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

There have been certain times in my life that were more challenging than others. Challenges not only make you stronger, but they force you to get out of your normal and comfortable routine. Without challenges in our lives there is no room for growth or opportunity for gratitude.

My experience with postpartum depression was negative and frightening, but I am thankful that it created the stronger, better, mom and person I am now. I am thankful that my experience led me to help other moms struggling with the same feelings and let them know that they are not alone. I am thankful to have met so many wonderful people on my life’s journey.

Think about people you have met in your lifetime, the influence that each and every one of them has had on your life. Let someone know that you appreciate them. Thank someone for their time or kind gesture. Think about things you are you thankful for: a pet, flowers in your garden, the opportunity to travel. Giving thanks is a powerful positive message that can become part of your daily routine and improve your life. I didn’t learn to give thanks; it was something I created within myself. There are many benefits to giving thanks. Express gratitude today and always.

Linda Meyer is the Executive Director of Mother to Mother in St. Louis, MO. Mother to Mother provides free telephone support, group support and resources to women experiencing emotional difficulties during pregnancy and postpartum. www.mothertomothersupport.org

Change in the Weather, Change in Attitude

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

The cold weather is creeping in, or already here in most states. It’s hard to relate to winter when you live in the sub-tropics of sunny South Florida, like myself.

Winter’s notorious for the cold, darker days and feelings of melancholy, depression, or lethargy seeping in. How do we combat the winter blahs from freezing us? Turn that blah attitude around to an attitude of gratitude! What better way to empower yourself than to take the positive steps necessary to make yourself healthy and whole!

We’ve started the Self-Care Challenge, and the results are trickling in. From women realizing they’re not taking care of themselves, to women reaching out to one another in thanks and gratitude, it’s clear that we’re becoming better educated about what it means to live self-care.

Here’s today’s challenge activity. It’s also perfect for Thanksgiving. Looking for that special centerpiece? Why not make a “GratitudeTree?” You can gather up twigs and other decorations, and place them in a vase. Cut out special pieces of paper, and with a “hole punch,” punch a hole and add a bit of ribbon. When your family and friends arrive, have each person write what they’re thankful for on their special tag and hang it from the “tree.” This creates the attitude of gratitude for the entire group, and leaves you with special keepsakes you can treasure year after year.

Today’s author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves and practice self-care.

One Hero’s Journey-Part 2

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

When I became a mother, I hadn’t felt more alone and isolated in my entire life. It floored me. I had postpartum depression and anxiety but didn’t know it. I was on maternity leave, recovering slowly and painfully from a C-section. Add to that the approaching brutal Northeast winter, and isolation was unavoidable.

After the longest, hardest winter, literally and metaphorically, I found Postpartum Progress and Living Self-Care. Then I discovered #ppdchat on Twitter. I started reading blogs written by women like me, only they weren’t afraid to share their stories and I was. I didn’t know I would soon be blogging myself and how much that would influence my recovery and change my life.

Reading about PPD from those women’s viewpoints corrected the course of my PPD journey.  Each day, the isolation and loneliness melted away and I headed in a new, better direction. I found solace in those voices, belonging to women I didn’t know but to whom I felt so connected. Those women described the same things I’d been feeling—things I thought were happening to only me.

From the bottom of my heart, if you’re blogging about your perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, thank you. If you’re sharing it with your family, friends, neighbors, doctors, thank you. If you’re reading this blog, thank you. It might not seem like much but sharing your story changes lives. You’re creating awareness. You’re creating a village where women can find refuge.

Today’s author is Jamie Harker. Follow her at www.jamesandjax.com.

One Hero’s Journey-Part 1

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Recently, I wrote about having attended the Southern New Jersey Perinatal Cooperative’s conference on perinatal mood disorders. A few weeks later, I am still carrying in my heart everything I felt that day, which ranged from nervous anticipation to love, respect, encouragement, and support.

I drove to the conference in the pouring rain, excited to be in the same room with Katherine Stone, Diane Sanford, and my therapist, Michelle. Those three women helped me so much when I had postpartum depression and anxiety for nearly 2 years. I credit Katherine and Diane with giving me the courage and strength to seek help in the first place, and I credit Michelle with providing me the exact compassionate care I needed but almost didn’t reach out for.

But you know who else I credit? All of the women I’ve come to know online who are creating with me a village just by opening up and talking about what we’ve gone through (or are still going through). This journey isn’t easy, and if you’re reading this, you surely know that already. It is long and grueling and, at first, so very lonely. But you aren’t alone. You have a village. You just need directions to it. And websites like this one provide a map.

Today’s guest author is Jamie of www.jamesandjax.com. One of the true heroes who’s building a village of support for PPD moms through her courage and honesty.

For info about PPD, listen to the Sept.9 podcast @mamasonbedrest with Diane Sanford.

Part 2:

Women’s Roles as Broadcasters for Self-Care Awareness

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Last week Pregnancy.org wrote a blog post about GiulianaRancic and her new battle with breast cancer. Giuliana’s a great example of how you can start with one situation (IVF treatments) and end up discovering you have a new condition (breast cancer). She found this out because she practices self-care. Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, I feel this is an appropriate connection into Diane’s post about, “It takes a Village…”  to make self-care happen!

We have a sacred duty to ourselves to get the word out, to support each other, to make sure our friends, families, and loved ones take care of themselves. We must take the time to participate in and spread the wordabout self-care. We need our women friends onboard the “self-care train.” Guiliana went on the Today Show to spread her message of the importance of self-care. While she can get the word out a lot faster as a celebrity, you don’t need to have celebrity status to get the word out. All you need to have is the desire to care.

November will be “Self-Care Month,” complete with a contest and challenge. When the days are dark and dreary, you don’t have to be! Self-care will guide you! Wishing all of you a wonderful holiday season coming up!

Today’s author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves and advice on how to take care of themselves to help them conquer their challenges and overcome self-care obstacles.

What’s Missing?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

You’re making an effort to take better care of yourself. Say you’re having a good week: you’ve exercised, eaten nutritious meals, and maybe even had a spa day. Great job!

Is something still…missing? We forget that we are by nature, spiritual beings. We are a spirit (that essence of life and divinity that makes us who we are) in a body (flesh & bones) possessing a soul (mind, will, emotions). However, we often forget this .

So how do we activate and nurture our spirituality? Motherhood is one tough job – no doubt about it. Sometimes our faith is the only thing that will get us through. Here are some easy ways to integrate spirituality in our daily lives:

• Prayer & meditation- we can speak or write them in a journal. It doesn’t have to be fancy. We can pray silently when brushing our teeth, driving, or even changing a diaper. Many chores don’t require a great deal of concentration. This is an excellent time to contemplate and recite prayers/reflections that apply to our challenges.
• Reading- spending a few moments in the morning or before bedtime reading inspirational material from the Bible and other sources can bring much needed guidance and peace to our lives.
• Spiritual retreats & worship services- others can teach us, inspire us, and give us greater perspective.

Keeping it simple can ensure an active and productive spiritual life. Mommie Kate offers tips and encouragement for busy moms at Practical Faith For Everyday Life.

Get Back to “Basics” Today

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

A client called me yesterday to reschedule her appointment. As we wished
each other well before hanging up, she mentioned she was about to eat
lunch. The clock read 2:30 PM. She begins her work shift at 8:00 AM and finishes at 5:00 PM. She hadn’t taken the time to eat because she of her “busy day.”

How many of us ignore the very basic needs of Self-Care? Eating at least 3 meals
a day is just one of them. What about refusing to take a break to use the restroom
until it is such an urgent matter that we can’t ignore it? Taking a few minutes to relax with a cup of our favorite beverage to rest and renew?

One of the things mainstream society tells us is that productivity is good; idleness is bad…or worse – LAZY! Have we bought that belief so solidly we ignore our bodies’ very basic needs? Take notice– you may do this and
not even realize it. I know I was!

If this is a chronic problem for you, try scheduling your meals into your daily
calendar like you would a meeting. Don’t wait longer than a few minutes
ignoring nature’s call – get to a stopping point and go take care of your Self.

While self-care focuses on the soul, we can’t survive without healthy bodies!

Stacey Glaesmann, LPC is a counselor in private practice near Houston, TX. Her book, “What About Me? A Simple Guide to Self-Care in the 21st Century” is available at www.pearlandtherapy.com.

Free Yourself From Imprisoning Thoughts

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Reading is a means of thinking with another person’s mind; it forces you to stretch your own.
~Charles Scribner,Jr.

Lately I’ve been listening to life coach Martha Beck’s book Steering By Starlight. In it, she discusses how to dismantle the “thought dungeons” we create.

The idea of changing our thoughts to change our feelings originated in cognitive therapy by Aaron Beck (no relation to Martha) and Albert Ellis. One of the first books on this, Feeling Good, painstakingly described common cognitive distortions like “all or nothing” thinking, my favorite, “catastrophizing,” aka “living in the wreckage of the future,” and how we can neutralize/”refute them.”

Martha Beck’s book is much more fun than this with her keen wit and uncanny sense of how people get themselves stuck in “thought dungeons” of their own making and how to get out. For example, moms/parents who devote themselves to their children, totally neglecting their own needs. Sound familiar?

Here’s what she says to make the point, as we often do, that doing this is not necessarily best for you or your child. “The reason they tells parents to put their oxygen masks on first is because a conscious parent can save an unconscious child, but a conscious child cannot save an unconscious parent.”

What are you doing for self-care? If not, what thoughts are keeping you stuck? As last Thursday’s post suggested, ” Perhaps our arms will be more willing to hug and take care of others after we take care of ourselves.”

Changing Seasons-Changing Attitudes

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Fall is here, and that signals a time of introspection and self-analysis. Fall also symbolizes the time where we feel obligated (guilt involved or not) to redirect, “pay it forward,” and learn how to do “nothing.” Learn how to do nothing? Did she really just say that? That’s impossible! Not really, it just takes a few attempts before you get good at it.

Living self-care is more than lip service. I’m guilty of saying that I’ll do “xyz” for myself, and then, it magically doesn’t happen. Well it doesn’t happen because I don’t allow it to happen. How do we take care of ourselves without it feeling like a chore? The answer is as simple as mindset. In my opinion, it comes down to how we perceive, feel, and think about ourselves, and how we view ourselves in the big picture.

The self-care revolution is coming – we all feel it – it’s just a matter of when. Are you willing to take up “arms” and join us? Perhaps those arms will be more willing to hug and take care of others after we take care of ourselves. If you think about it, we can’t help anyone until we help ourselves.

Today’s guest author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves, feel safe and get advice on how to take care of, pamper, and check-in with themselves. These tools help them conquer their challenges and overcome obstacles to self-care.

Empower Yourself to BE YOU!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I’m on vacation this week so I’m running Kelly’s guest post which reminds us to be true to who we are.

To be empowered is to say “YES! This is who I am” rather than letting others define you.   To find your inner voice and strength and use it to control your mind, your body, and your thoughts, staying true to yourself whatever life presents.

Being empowered is to reject helplessness. It is finding the courage to face what frightens you, and instead learn what you can from these experiences. By searching out these silver linings you are refusing to let the pain or fear rule you. Redefining life’s challenges by what you’ve gained.

When is the last time you used your “pause button” and MADE the choice to listen to yourself, to appreciate who you are, or to ask yourself “what do I want?” Remember that only you are the expert on you. You have the strength to create your life and to connect with your inner voice.

So try asking yourself:

  • What truly matters to me?
  • What are my priorities?
  • What are the values that I
    strive to live by?
  • When I wake up tomorrow what
    do I want to remember about today?

And now concentrate. Focus.
Breathe. Listen. And just BE YOU.

Today’s author Kelly Caul, MSW, LCSW is founder of EMPOWERED Therapy, LLC, whose mission is to empower you to BE YOU through individual and group therapy.  Kelly can be reached through her website at www.kellycaul.com.