Category: Uncategorized

After Christmas Prescription: Rest and Restore

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

I was visiting with my cousin at my mother’s annual holiday party when he commented to me he was glad to have “endured” Christmas.  I told him that once his children were older, like mine who are now 22 and 18, he would enjoy the holiday more.  I recalled how I felt after decorating, shopping, wrapping, and celebrating with the girls in tow, and how my joy was tempered by exhaustion.

Our self-care tip this post-holiday week is to rest and recharge your battery.  Don’t put pressure on yourself for playdates, taking the children out or visiting friends and family unless that’s easier for you.  Resist preparing  gourmet meals, downloading holiday pictures or catching up on errands.  You have the entire  year ahead.

What to do instead?  Rest.  Restore.  Recharge.  No child has ever died from a diet of hot dogs and macaroni.  In fact, many of them prefer it.  They will gladly wear the same clothes and don’t care if their rooms are a mess.  Also, let them entertain themselves.  What about the new toys they took seconds to unwrap?  They can play with them!

For a healthy and happy new year, you need to have the energy to enjoy it.  As Ann and I always say, you must keep your pitcher filled to take care of yourself and those you love.  Don’t run yourself ragged like little Spudgy and miss out on the fun.  Give yourself a break this week.  You deserve it.   And get some sleep.

A holiday challenge

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas / Ev’rywhere you go…”  A beautiful reminder for those who love and celebrate this holiday to see all the decorations:  houses lit up on cold winter nights, bell ringers outside stores with “SALE” signs in windows, even Santa sledding on an electric razor on television.

For those of us who are not Christians, however, it’s a constant reminder of our differentness.  The saturation of our culture in the Christmas holiday makes this a difficult time of year.  How do those of us who swim against the tide maintain perspective in the midst of the season?

For me, I remind myself of what’s really important to me.  I find the commercialism and gift-giving particularly difficult and have tried to bow out of family activities that involve gift-giving.  But I’ve come to realize that, though this tradition isn’t meaningful to me, it makes the grandparents happy to give my children gifts, and my children feel loved and happy  receiving those gifts.

I also remember that the basics of living my self-care are more important than ever  this time of year:  deep breathing, regular exercise, healthy food choices, a good night’s sleep.  I  make the holiday my own as much as possible, holding to traditions that are meaningful to me and letting go of the rest.  “Peace on earth and goodwill toward men” is a gift I give myself every year.

JoshuaDavisPhotography

Thank you to Angela, mom of 2 from Wisconsin, for this invaluable perspective in today’s post.

Happy Holidays! Self-Care Books We Love

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

After watching Oprah’s holiday gift show, Ann and I thought seriously about a gift for all of you for your generosity of living self-care with us. As avid readers, we’re gifting you a list of our favorite self-care books. Here’s to your health and happiness.

Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide. Our new book on what to expect emotionally after having a baby, and how to survive and thrive new motherhood. Detailed self-care plan for all moms.

Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box: Cut Yourself Some Slack (and Still Raise Great Kids) in the Age of Extreme Parenting. Ann’s most recent solo work, offering concrete ways to change the thinking behind today’s “perfection parenting.” Quit second guessing “am I a good mom?” “How’d I wreck my kid’s life today?” and embrace that you already are a perfectly good parent.

Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom.Dr. Christiane Northrup’s comprehensive book on women’s health and how our emotional life affects us. Great advice about healing from emotional pain and caring for our bodies and souls. Thanks to Dr. Northrup for recommending Life Will Never Be the Same.

The Dance of Anger The essential classic by Harriet Lerner, guiding women through letting go and using anger as a tool for change in lasting relationships. EVERY woman needs this book. Thanks to Harriet for recommending Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box.

Gift one (or all!) to yourself or a woman you love today.

Holiday Inspiration from St.Louis Kids Magazine

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

“Set realistic expectations.” So easy to say, so hard to do! Especially at the holidays, when our day-to-day lifestyle is condensed to its essence by the stresses and time constraints of this busy season.

If we tend to bite off more than we can chew throughout the rest of the year, we may set our sights on a “perfect” holiday with 12 dozen different home-baked cookies, the best light display on the block, perfect gifts for the kids, and a holiday party that outshines them all.

It makes me tired just typing it.

One of the things I love about the St. Louis Kids Magazine blog, SmartParenting, is that our bloggers are honest about their pursuit of perfection – and the limitations that get in the way. We may not have the perfect body for those sexy jeans. The unkindness of strangers may sting our pride at a fast-food restaurant. We may entertain our kids in front of the TV more than we should, or let them skip homework when we can’t deal with the inevitable fight. We’re human.

Real woman Amy of St. Louis Kids Magazine

Our team is also quick to give credit to those who go beyond “realistic expectations.” The parents who adopt four siblings. The divorced mom who starts her own business. The teacher who recognizes a child’s greatness.

Reading about those transcendent folks gives us hope that one day we too may rise above our “realistic expectations.” But meanwhile, we’re in good company if we only bake (or buy!) one kind of cookies.
-Thanks to Amy De La Hunt, St.Louis Kids Magazine , today’s contributor!

Back to Basics for Holiday Health

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

With 19 days until Christmas, holiday stress is peaking. So this week, we’re focusing on self-care basics to preserve health, happiness, and your remaining sanity. First, nourish yourself physically. Make time to eat-your body can’t run without fuel. Exercise 2-3 times weekly by going to the gym, walking your dog, or shopping. Recharge your emotional engine by making time to do things you enjoy-savor a cup of coffee, take a bubble bath, or visit a friend. Feed your spirit with a nature walk, positive affirmations, listening or reading someone inspirational and giving to others.

Second, practice relaxation. Take breaks in the day. Stop running around at record speeds. The “perfect gift” doesn’t exist so stop and breathe. Close your eyes and spend 5 minutes, breathing in to the count of 3, holding for a couple seconds and then out to the count of 3. If a thought strays in, let it go. Focus you attention on your heart spreading calm and warmth through your body. Repeat 2-3 times a day. Studies show that relaxation can boost immunity, and improve mood and sleep.

Finally, spend your time wisely. Choose one activity which makes the holidays special for you and make certain to do it. Maybe baking or caroling or watching a holiday DVD. Don’t let your “to do” list consume you. Prioritize what has to get done, and cut out what you can. Stop and think “Will doing this make me feel good” or tired and stressed. Choose what’s best for you at least once a day.

No Time for Exercise? How Moms Are Making It

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized
Today's Real Mom Author, Becky from CafeMom

As a mom, I know first-hand that time for exercise is one of the hardest aspects of self-care. Between caring for our children, working, and keeping up with family, friends, and the house, moms find it’s close to impossible to find time to stay in shape. I’m often inspired by the moms in CafeMom’s Healthy Weight Loss group, who find unique ways to fit exercise into busy lives. These moms aren’t just sneaking off to the gym; they’re teaching their kids to make exercise part of their lives, too. We have moms doing Zumba in their living rooms with their kids, moms in our Running Moms group taking their kids out for a run in their jogging strollers, and moms using technology to support each other and keep each other motivated.

It’s clear to me that many moms on CafeMom are committed to more than just losing their baby bumps; they’re truly embracing exercise and healthy living because they know that being fit and active will make them better parents. Personally, I jog regularly with my son, take swimming classes with him at a local pool, and chase him on the playground. He’s an extremely active toddler and gives me a better workout than I could get at a gym!

CafeMom has great support groups for moms interested in weight loss or healthy lifestyles. Check out Healthy Moms and Healthy Weight Loss to learn more.
–Becky from CafeMom

Your post here!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

On Wednesdays, we feature posts from guest bloggers. One of our Challenge Champions will be featured here tomorrow, Thursday, and we apologize for getting off schedule. We’re human, too!

Meanwhile, just wanted to take this opportunity to remind you that this opportunity is available, as we love to hear from the real women who are LIVING self-care with us. If you’d like to be featured on a future Wednesday, please email Diane at realmomexperts{at}gmail.com.

Have a great day, make sure to write down (or make a mental list) of all today’s accomplishments, and see you tomorrow for this week’s featured guest.

The breath of life

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

Today’s post is by Lauren Hale.

As you read this I want you to focus on the absolute most basic function of life. You are doing it right now.

Breathing.

Notice how your chest rises and falls, your stomach moves up and down, the air in and out of your nose and mouth. If it is cold, you may even be able to see your breath today. When we take time to be aware of our actions, even the most basic, we tune with what is going on within ourselves and around us as well.

When we are panicked, our breathing is shallow and quick. When calm, it is slow, deep, and rhythmic. Breathing is one of the quickest ways we can change our moods. When my day gets to me, I go to a quiet place and just breathe in and out. This resets my mindset and heads me in a different direction.

Real woman Lauren of My Postpartum Voice

At My Postpartum Voice, I started blogging in order to re-frame an unexpected pregnancy after two episodes of Postpartum OCD. Through my journey, I learned a lot, including how to take a time out for myself. As mothers, we do not have to sacrifice ourselves for our children. We matter too. Motherhood is something we add to our sense of self, not something which must overcome our sense of self. We must take care of ourselves so that we can then take care of our families.

Start today with a deep, relaxing breath. I am.

Stress Getting the Best of You? Just Breathe

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

When first introduced to breathing as a relaxation technique, we wonder how something so simple can work.  My favorite story about “breathing” was finding my 10 year-old daughter playing the deep breathing/relaxation CD I’d made to a friend who was spending the night  and having trouble sleeping.  She said, “Just listen–you’ll feel better.”  Fifteen minutes later, they were both asleep.

Deep breathing works so well because we spend so much time physically  and emotionally stressed.  Psychologist Alice Domar states that the average US adult experiences the fight or flight response 50 times daily.  While adaptive for cave-dwelling ancestors running from saber-toothed tigers, the flood of stress chemicals through our bodies makes us edgy, irritable, and more vulnerable to physical and emotional health problems.  Likewise, it results in short, shallow breathing which fuels rather than diminishes the stress response.

The busier we are, the truer this is, especially for moms with small children who already feel physically and emotionally depleted.  The more rundown we are, the more likely the fight-flight response is to trigger.  Research has shown that five minutes of deep breathing several times a day leads to lower stress hormones by day’s end.  Why wait?  If we can delay bedtime to pick up the house, certainly we can take 5 minutes, 3 times a day, to improve our physical and emotional well-being.  Although it may feel strange at first to be still and breathe deeply, it feels good.

This week’s mantra: “I always have my breath to destress.”

Read more.

Call for a Self-Care Revolution

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

Self-care should be a revolution – it’s an idea so basic that many people, especially women don’t even think to take the time or make an effort to be a “cult of one,” to take care of themselves first.

Real woman author of today's post, Mollee Bauer of pregnancy.org

That’s where this self-care challenge comes in.  Day one’s challenge of chanting the mantra, “Taking care of me benefits others I love,” sounds simple and it should be in theory. But we tend to clutter our lives with complications and excuses.

I take this mantra to heart lately. I can’t do anything if I spend all my time catering to others. Doing so would affect my business and personal life. By meditating, exercising and eating right, I know that I am on my way to being the best I can be at any given moment. I make sure I take care of myself and fuel my engine.

Making self-care a part of my daily life ensures that I am ready to take on any challenge that I need to deal with. Each tip is a valuable pearl of wisdom that allows me to pamper and take care of myself in ways I never thought of.

At Pregnancy.org, we’re in a similar business. We give women the tools they need to not only empower themselves, to feel safe and secure but also advice on how to take care of themselves, pamper themselves, check in with themselves to make sure they have the tools necessary to meet each of their challenges along the way.