Tag: life balance

Web Therapy: New Options for New Moms

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in September tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

If any of you have seen Web Therapy starring Lisa Kudrow on Showtime, then you know that this type of interaction is possible (though we hope no counselor is as awful as Kudrow’s character). Therapy is indeed coming into the 21st Century, with resources available to folks that may have had none before.

Regroup Therapy is one such example of how resources are reaching out to new moms instead of them having to research, coordinate and get to a therapist’s office. Regroup offers both group and individual sessions from the comfort of your own home or office. Each group and session is led by a licensed mental health professional with extensive training in the field of perinatal mood disorders. Clients just need a computer with a web cam, a microphone and head phones or earbuds, which most modern machines come equipped with.

This service is useful in many situations. Folks who live far away from any resources, moms who may be just too depressed to get to an appointment, new moms who want a group experience where no groups are available, and even moms who like the less personal interaction with a therapist on the computer screen can all benefit from Regroup’s services.

I am proud to be a part of Regroup, and ask that you spread the word to anyone who may benefit from a service like this. Please take a look at our website and stay tuned for exciting new things to come! Therapy can be a very vital part of self-care, and with Regroup, it can be much easier, too!

 

Regroup: We Bring the Support to You

Introducing the Midwest Mind Body Health Center

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, September tips

After many weeks of uncertainty about my new office, I can finally announce that on Oct. 1, the Midwest Mind Body Health Center will be open for business. In addition to the counseling services I’ve always provided, we’ll be offering weekly classes and multi-session workshops in mind-body practices including mindfulness, meditation and yoga. Research has shown that these practices can help reduce stress, depression and anxiety and improve health and well-being.

I could go on for hours, but instead check out the new website at www.mindbodystl.com.  And remember, “Self-care is like chocolate; you can never have enough.”

Namaste.

Buying “Stuff”: Necessity or Luxury?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in September tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I think we all can agree that our American society is more consumer-oriented now than ever before in history. Whether you call it “keeping up with the Joneses” or “retail therapy,” the things that used to be luxuries are starting to be perceived as necessities. Cable TV used to be something wealthy people had when I was growing up. Now, if you don’t have cable, you must live in a cave! One of the biggest problems with this attitude is that many people are sacrificing their financial self-care for buying “stuff.”

I was reading last week’s People Magazine and came upon a blurb about purses. Apparently a designer named Jil Sander took some plain brown paper bags, stamped them with her name, and put them on boutique shelves with a price tag of $290.00. Guess what? She can’t keep them on the shelves because they are selling so well! These are brown paper bags, people! They are the kind we pack “sack lunches” or carry our groceries in! Consumerism has obviously gotten out of hand.

Jil Sander’s $290 paper bag “Vasari” purse

It is difficult to find someone who is debt-free these days. Some debts are just necessary, such as a mortgage, school loans and even car loans. But if you’re paying off a $290 brown paper bag purse, you are neglecting your financial self-care! There are so many financial advice gurus out there that I’m not going to attempt to explain any remedies for debt. I am, however, going to encourage you to really think about each purchase you make on your credit card(s). Stop and look closely at the item, then ask yourself, “Do I really need this?” This simple process can help keep those credit card balances down to a reasonable amount.

When we talk about self-care, many people get mental pictures of women getting manicures and massages (which is great if you can afford it). But there’s so much more to self-care than that. You can apply it to every area of your life, including your financial responsibilities. So, stop trying to keep up with the Joneses (or Kardashians) and live within the parameters of your/your family’s individual situation. No one is in your exact situation, but modeling fiscal responsibility sure can make them want to keep up with YOU!

Redefining Happiness

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in August Tips, Monday Musings

The other night I dreamt I went to camp again. The dream was a hodgepodge of camp activities which I will refrain from describing, but, suffice it to say, I was genuinely happy. For a moment, when I woke up, I thought I was really in my cabin at camp, but as my eyes adjusted to the dark and my mind cleared, I realized I wasn’t anywhere close to camp. Instead I was alone in my apartment, and all too quickly I remembered that instead of having a day of kayaking and sun-bathing ahead, all I had to look forward to was doing practice questions to prepare for my upcoming exam. That’s when I started to cry.

After the tears subsided, I grabbed my computer to search for quotes online, something I like to do when I’m feeling blue, and stumbled across a quote by Leonardo da Vinci that said, “Once you have flown, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward; for there you have been, there you long to return.”

And, while I didn’t literally long to fly, I did long for the happy, carefree life I once had. For the time when I was able to spend four hours a day at dance practice. Or six hours making dinner and dessert for my friends. Or a morning doing absolutely nothing.

As I lay in bed, reminiscing about my pre-medical school life, I slowly began to acknowledge my current life really isn’t so terrible—it’s just different. So, I decided it’s time for me to redefine happiness. Instead of happiness being doing whatever I want whenever I want, I need to start looking for happiness in what I already have. I have a great group of friends and a loving family. I’m healthy. I’m physically and mentally capable of doing anything I set my mind to. And I’m well on my way to a highly rewarding career as a doctor.

Just as I am trying to do, I encourage you to consider if perhaps it’s time for you to redefine what happiness is and to look for all the wonderful things you already possess instead of longing for what once was and will not be again.

Today’s guest author is Jessica Sanford, med student extraordinaire and Diane’s wonderful daughter.

What can you do to redefine happiness in your life? Let us know.

Welcome to the Holiday Season!?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in September tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom", Uncategorized

Labor Day has come and gone, signaling the commercial commencement of “The Holidays.” Every year, I feel a little nauseous the first time I see Christmas/Hanukkah items displayed in a store in late-August/early-September. It’s sad, really. I remember a time when “holiday time” started after Halloween and consisted more of family gatherings instead of the shop-fest that it has become.

Instead of reiterating a bunch of advice about avoiding holiday stress, let me instead ask how can you make this early Fall more self-focused? The kids are off at school. Things are slowly starting to settle down. Do you find yourself settling down as well or are you immediately jumping ahead to planning Thanksgiving dinner?

One of the first pieces of advice I remember ever giving my daughter was, “Don’t believe everything you see on TV.” The same goes for all of society’s mass outlets – TV, radio, Internet and stores themselves. If the merchants were to have it their way, we’d buy back-to-school clothes, Halloween candy and costumes, huge turkey dinners, Christmas/Hanukkah gifts and holiday dinners, one right after the other. Family? What family?

As you send your kiddos off to school today, I challenge you to avoid the media – avoid the hype. See what a pre-Fall day can be like with just your thoughts about things, not influenced or controlled what you “should be” thinking forward to. Staying in the present moment is a tried-and-true method for reducing anxiety and tension. So, when you look at right now, what do you see? Thanksgiving? Christmas? Or just September 6, 2012, ready to bring you whatever it brings? This is YOUR “holiday season,” whether it’s already started or not – do what’s best for YOU and YOUR family!

Happy September!

Don’t Labor-Enjoy the Day!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, September tips

Today is the perfect day to celebrate all the hard work you do by taking time off. Whether we are caring for our children, partners, parents, friends, or pets, most women labor all the time, both in and outside of home. So just today, climb back in bed, have a cup of coffee, watch the TV show you want, go to the mall, have your nails done, read a good book, or do whatever suits you. You can go back to work tomorrow. For now, enjoy!

For more ideas about what you can do to make self-care part of your life, visit “Taking Care of You: Body, Mind and Spirit” at http://extension.missouri.edu/takingcare. I just got trained in this program and can’t recommend it enough.

Have a great day.

A Not-So-Secret Anxiety Remedy

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in August Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I was in session yesterday with a young lady who has been dealing with anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for most of her life. I’ve been working with her for quite a while, and we’ve tried all kinds of coping mechanisms. In her session, she told me that she thinks she has found THE coping tool that has significantly reduced her symptoms. She had been discouraged after trying progressive muscle relaxation, breathing techniques, thought monitoring/stopping, visualization and a few others. So when she said this, I got excited! What was her favored remedy? Present moment awareness!

Diane and I have written about mindfulness and present moment awareness in the past, and we both agree that this technique is one of the basics of self-care. While it’s true that not all coping tools will work for everyone, this particular exercise, when made habitual, can change lives.

My client is dealing with financial problems, and found herself worked into a panic regularly, wondering how she was going to get enough money to pay her bills. Using present moment awareness, she has been able to tell herself, “The bills are not due today. Right now, all is well. I’ll deal with it when the time comes.” This usually brings her anxiety down and sometimes wipes it completely out!

Of course, some things do require planning ahead, and paying bills can be one of them. My client told me yesterday that she had 2 “out of the blue” opportunities to make extra money, and that would take care of her August bills! She’s now working on maintaining mindfulness, but also having faith that God/The Universe will provide for her, as long as she expects Him/it to.

She said she felt strange when practicing these new thoughts, because her old thought patterns were so negative. It made sense to her that we tend to get what we expect to get out of life. So, if she expects obstacles and depression, that’s what she gets. After getting some “proof” that positive and mindful thoughts DO have a real effect in her life, she’s finding renewed enthusiasm to keep it up!

Battling the Back-to-School Blahs

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in August Tips, Monday Musings

Now that my daughters are older, starting school is less challenging time and energy wise. But for those of you who still have younger children, August can be a stressful and depleting month. Here are some recommendations from Lisa Salazar, a therapist and mom of two teens and a toddler, who’s found that organization and routine is key to decreasing stress and maintain a healthy balance in at home.

Schedule family time:  Allow your children to help plan a weekly family night.  An example is renting videos and watching them at home with favorite movie snacks to enjoy.  During family night, rules should be established, such as no texting or taking phone calls.

Choose chores:  Because everyone’s schedules are busier now, it is helpful to have a family meeting where everyone can decide which chores they will be responsible for.

Homework:  By providing your children a calendar and having one for yourself, both of you can jot down any special dates and scheduled tests.   Staying organized is the key to a successful school year!

Observe child’s behavior:   Be mindful of any changes in behavior, sleep, and eating behaviors.

Offer support and solutions:  Be your child’s strongest advocate.  Reach out to teacher s and counselors to help you and your child.

Listen:  Use car rides home and dinner time to talk with your child.

Real Mom Lisa

Today’s guest author is Lisa Salazar, MA, LMFT, LPC who is a licensed marriage and family therapist.  She has been married for 18 years and has 3 children.   Books in the Burbs is a blog that Lisa maintains to write book reviews.

Hatred is a Heavy Burden

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in August Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I’ve been astonished at some of the hate being spewed out from my “friends” on Facebook as the Presidential election draws near. It’s great to debate, share opinions and find like-minded people. However, like the race itself, both parties are getting dirty and hateful.

We’ve all felt that hateful feeling at one time or another. Most people say they don’t like feeling that way, but there are always a few that not only like it, but purposely create it. If you carry grudges or find yourself hating someone or something, think about who that is really hurting…YOU.

The subject of your negative feelings is most likely unaware or unaffected by your hatred. But you have to carry it with you all day, every day. It weighs you down, tires you out and makes life in general more difficult.

Politics and religion seem to be the hot topics that elicit such hateful statements. I’ve had to make myself ignore ugly posts and comments because it does stir a lot of anger in me – not because I feel one way or another about the candidates, but the shock at the actions of my “friends.” If you find yourself feeling rageful, hate or carrying a grudge, the best thing you can do for yourself is let it go. The minute you do, you will feel lighter and your stress level will go down. Anything that has those results is definitely self-care! So, gals, let it go and focus on what is really important in your life.

Self-Care Back to School Style

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in August Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Summer is quickly drawing to a close and stores are putting out their “back to school” supplies, uniforms and backpacks. Happy parents can be found perusing these items, while their usually sullen offspring trail behind. After the kids get on the bus, many parents feel that they can finally exhale and take some time for themselves.

Contrary to popular belief, self-care doesn’t require a large amount of time. The payoffs, however, are great. In as little as 15 minutes, a world-weary mom or dad can recharge and gather more energy and enthusiasm to face the day. Some quick activities for self-care are listed below:

  • Enjoy a long, hot bubble bath
  • Read a chapter or two in a “just-for-me” book (no reading for work)
  • Write a letter to a friend, snail mail style
  • Take a power nap
  • Watch an episode of a favorite 30-minute television show
  • Do a 15-minute yoga routine
  • Meditate
  • Write in a journal or diary
  • Draw, paint or color a picture
  • Complete a crossword puzzle

While these suggestions are easily done in a 15 – 30 minute timeframe, scheduled “me time” activities such as massage and manicures are important, too. If Mom and Dad take care of themselves first, they will have more to offer to their kids and the world.