Tag: motherhood

Oh, Where Does the Time Fly?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

[OK, please don’t smack me!] Wow! It’s already more than half way through
January, 2012! Can you even believe it? One of the things that I have never truly
been able to do successfully is to set aside a normal “regular” day to be more of
a “really important” one here and there. If you look at every day as a gift, true “lesser important” days can’t even occur.

Every day is as significant as the last; however, it may just not appear that way because a lot of “normal ol’ stuff” and “regular” days do have a lot of overlap. Yes, we get up, go to work, perhaps go to the gym, rinse and repeat. That’s one of the reasons health and fitness professionals suggest that a varied routine is one that you will stick to over the weeks, months and years – well, that, and getting a workout buddy! There’s just something nice about knowing that another person is trying to do the exact same thing you are and is probably experiencing the exact same obstacles, too. Put your two heads together and perhaps you’ll be able to surmount the same challenges in half the time!

If working out isn’t your thing, buddying up with someone pursuing the same goal still improves your chances for success. In fact, social support is key in making change stick. Join us in encouraging each other to keep livingselfcare one day at a time. Together, let’s create the changes and lives we desire.

Making Changes That Fit With Who We Are

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

This month we’ve been talking about how to succeed at our New Year’s resolutions. If you’re just joining us, we’ve discussed: 1) setting goals which are realistic, attainable and important; 2) drawing inspiration from and encouragement from others; 3) remembering change is a process which occurs in steps; and 4) accepting personal responsibility for what we want to happen.

After reading the latest issue of Oprah on how to “Express Yourself” and getting an e-mail from Jean Houston on  “Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose,” I thought about another important ingredient. Being certain the changes we want to make fit who we truly are or reflect the “essence” of what’s inside of us. If that sounds heady, it’s not but it is challenging.

As women, we often choose goals that reflect what we think other people want for approval and security. We choose careers, interests and relationships that may not nourish us but are the “right” thing to do. Then we wonder why we don’t feel motivated to exercise more, organize our house or prepare healthy meals. It’s because these changes don’t necessarily reflect who we are. Not that everything can but at least something should.

This year resolve to choose one change that feeds your soul. Express your creativity through writing, photography, or art. Desiring more adventure, go ziplining, whitewater rafting, or skydiving. Visit Lesley Carter’s site for great ideas. Release your inner diva through song, dance and personal style-like The Cubicle Chick. Whatever you choose, be fearless and make it your own!

Make New Year’s Resolutions You Can Keep

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

The New Year is a time of renewal and change, but what, exactly, ARE New Year’s Resolutions?

Dictonary.com defines “resolution” as: the mental state or quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose. Resolute alludes to making a decision; a popular one being losing weight. However, the difference between a decision and a resolution is significant. It’s easy to say, “I’m going to the gym three times per week this year.” It is also easy to NOT go to the gym three times per week. So, unless you stick with a plan (or resolution), you have not made a decision.

So, what makes a good New Year’s Resolution?

Number one: it has to be realistic. You cannot expect yourself to go from exercising only when you go up the stairs to getting to the gym 5 days per week! Number two: you have to know it’s attainable: if there’s no gym in your town and you would have to drive 25 miles to get there, then how attainable is that, really? Number three: it has to be important. If you make a resolution to lose 10 pounds and you really don’t care if it happens, then its not important to you.

Here are some ideas for Self-Care New Year’s Resolutions:

Stacey Glaesmann, LPC

• Take 15 minutes every day for “me” time
• Set aside 30 minutes to 2 hours per week to be completely lazy (do nothing
productive during this time)
• Say “no” more often
• Visualize yourself in your “Happy Place” five minutes per day

Commit to Your Inspiration-Perspiration Workout for 2012

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Each year I try to come up with “new” New Year’s resolutions, but most of the time I return to the same ones. Those haunting “life issues” that persist in spite of my best intentions. Two of my finest are: 1) Don’t take things personally; and 2) Don’t make assumptions.

This year, I decided to get ahead by listening to one of my favorite audiobooks about changing these habits, The Four Agreements. In it, Don Miguel Ruiz maps out a detailed plan of how to stop taking things personally and making assumptions. Usually, I listen to these inspirational messages on the way to and from work. It helps strengthen my commitment to change and persistence.

I’ve been doing this for several years and it’s a strategy I think most of us can benefit from. However, here comes the perspiration part. There is no way I (or anyone else) can change our thoughts or actions without choosing different ones. Like Nike says, “Just Do It.” Throughout the day, I have abundant opportunities (as most of us do) to be aware of these thoughts and to challenge my “stinking thinking.”

Last week, I heard from a friend I’d phoned  2 weeks ago forgetting she’d gone out of town. In the meantime, I’d decided that I’d offended her and that’s why she hadn’t called. My #2 “Don’t make assumptions.” Clearly, I haven’t practiced this enough.

I’m committed to my inspiration-perspiration workout for 2012. What are you resolved to change? What inspires/strengthens your resolve? Let us know.

Meet Stacey Glaesmann, Our New Self-Care Expert

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Hi! My name is Stacey Glaesmann, LPC. I am a counselor in private practice near Houston, TX. I wrote my first book, “What About Me? A Simple Guide to Self-Carein the 21st Century,” in 2007. If you want to take a look, visit http://www.pearlandtherapy.com.

What got me interested in self-care is that I kept noticing ALL of my clients were
concentrating on other people and external situations. This was draining their
mental resources. Some clients even made themselves sick because they never
took time for themselves. And honestly, I was doing the same thing. I felt unimportant because all I did was give. Now, with a daily self-care regimen that includes yoga and 30 minutes of “me time,” my cup gets replenished and THEN I can be of service to others.

I have been through a lot in my life, as I am sure you have. I have a
12 year-old daughter and a wonderful husband. I suffered from Postpartum Panic Disorder and Depression and I now know that one of the reasons I got sick was because I was NOT taking care of myself.

I am thrilled to be joining Diane at Living Self-Care. It’s my passion and I hope that my input makes a difference in just one life (more would be cool, too!). If you have any questions please feel free to email me at sglaesmann@yahoo.com. I’ll be seeing you on Thursdays! Remember: if your cup isn’t full, you won’t have anything to give others. Keep that cup full!

Are You Ready to Make Change Stick?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Einstein said “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it. ” So how are you prepared to approach your New Year’s resolutions differently this year in order for them  to succeed?

The truth is good intentions only go so far and then there is the hard work of continuing to change day after day.  The following are some recommendations to help you make change stick.

  1. Think big.  Start small.  Break down the change you want to make into attainable steps.  For example, if you want to exercise and you haven’t been to the gym in years, dedicate 30 minutes twice a week to go for a walk or take a fitness class.  Create goals you can maintain.  Once you’ve mastered one step, take the next one.
  2. Remember change is a process.  Habits take time to learn and longer to unlearn.  How long have you been smoking? Overeating? If it’s been longer than a year or two, it’s probably something you do automatically.  Start by consciously monitoring when you smoke, overeat, etc. and making a different choice which will eventually become a new, healthier habit.
  3. Be accountable.  Only you can make change happen whether it’s losing weight or quitting smoking.  No matter how much work or relationship stress you experience, doesn’t mean you have to reach for a Big Mac or a cigarette. Only you have the power to change your life.

What are your New Year’s resolutions? How are you making change stick? What’s working or not?

Let’s Make 2012 a Great Year!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

As many of you may know, 2012 is supposed to be a year of great change. According to the Mayan calendar, it will be a time when institutions/habits which are not serving us dissolve and new ones emerge. Like a caterpillar that dissolves to become a butterfly, something entirely new will be emerge in its place.

It is an opportunity for each of us to tap into the energy of transcendence-to discover our full selves, healthy and whole. But, how? Often we get so stuck in the familiar that whether it’s best for us or not, we stop ourselves from exploring the new and unknown. We are frightened to lose the security of the the status quo in hopes of preventing bad things from happening.

But, this is a myth. The only constant is that life changes. So, let’s be bold, dream big and live large. Let’s allow old fear-based habits to dissolve and embrace the opportunity each day brings to discover all we were meant to be.

At livingselfcare, we’ll be changing too. Stacey Glaesman, LPC will be joining me to provide her insights on self-care, health and happiness. We’ll present more resources and recommendations to help you on your self-care journey, and as always, we welcome your guest posts, comments and suggestions.

Let’s make 2012 our best year ever! Let us know what you’d like to talk about. This is your community. Let us hear from you.

Give Yourself to Love, Light and Laughter

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

In 1982, Kate Wolf wrote “Give Yourself To Love.” The lyrics go as follows: “Give yourself to love if love is what you’re after; Open up your heart to the tears and laughter; And give yourself to love, give yourself to love.” While it’s a short song, her point isn’t missed on us. The song is about conquering our fear of intimacy and opening our hearts.

With New Years here, we rush to get out our proverbial paper and pen (or computer/tablet) and create grand lists of resolutions to conquer our challenges. From weight loss and eating healthy to getting more sleep, our good intentions often fail because we try to do too much.

What if our tasks and resolutions were as simple as “I’ll laugh or smile more,” or  take five minutes for ‘me-time’ every day? Wouldn’t these seem more practical, meaningful and important to incorporate and stick to than “I resolve to run a marathon or climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.” While a marathon or a mountain climb would be a great feat, does it really count more than the simple act of smiling at ourselves and our loved ones on a daily basis?

From our family to yours, we wish you and yours a tremendous 2012. Create the steps that carry you to fulfilling all your self-care goals!

Today’s author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves, conquer their challenges and overcome obstacles to self-care.

Recharge Your Battery to Welcome the New Year

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

For a healthy and happy new year, you need to have the energy to enjoy it. Our self-care tip this post-holiday weekend is to rest and recharge your battery.  Don’t put pressure on yourself for playdates, taking the children out or visiting friends and family unless that’s easier for you.  Resist preparing  gourmet meals, downloading holiday pictures or catching up on errands.  You have the entire  year ahead.

What to do instead?  Rest.  Restore.  Recharge.  No child has ever died from a diet of hot dogs and macaroni.  In fact, many of them prefer it.  They will gladly wear the same clothes and don’t care if their rooms are a mess.  Also, let them entertain themselves.  What about the new toys they took seconds to unwrap?  They can play with them!

The holidays are a particularly challenging time to balance our needs with those of others. But we must persist if we are to greet the new year with a healthy and positive outlook.

As we always say, you need to keep your pitcher filled to take care of yourself and those you love.  Don’t run yourself ragged like little Spudgy and miss out on the fun.  Give yourself a break this weekend.  You deserve it.   And get some sleep.

Holiday Survival in the Suburbs-Part 2

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Look for what worked before: remember what everyone liked and repeat it. For many years, we had our tradition of the Wednesday- before-Thanksgiving-cookie-day. After a lazy morning, we saw a movie, baked our favorite chocolate chip cookies and finished the day with cheeseburgers.

People love helping in the kitchen. I never have everything completely finished. People congregate in the kitchen anyway- give them purpose while visiting. Everyone loves doing something-especially if it’s not their house or their responsibility.

Find what works for you when/if you get stressed. When I do get stressed, I take big breaths and concentrate on the outcome I want. (I also eat chocolate and take a walk). Whatever healthy strategy you can find-exercise, gatherings with girlfriends, reading a book, a massage- make sure you take advantage and DO IT.

Focus on the positive. It makes me happy to focus on the simple, enjoyable and memorable. “It’s all good” can be a way of life. Think about your own circumstances, realize how fortunate you are and do something nice for someone.

Life is too precious to be stressed out by circumstances we may not remember. I believe if I am less stressed, the kids will be also. I try to take care of my family by not planning too much and by being in the moment with them.

Pam Wilson is the author of S.O.S From Suburbia, a humorous look at surviving the craziness of the suburbs which can be ordered on her website: www.sosfromsuburbia.vpweb.com