Category: Thursday “Words of Wisdom”

“Mommy Entrepeneur’s Recipe for Divalysscious Success”-Part 2

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

As the owner of Divalysscious Moms, a luxury lifestyle company for mothers and families, and the mother of two young children (Jackson, 7, and Oliver, 4), I am frequently asked how I balance motherhood, business and “me” time.  Here are my recommended ingredients.

1. Children Come First. That means any emails or calls can wait until the children are settled. When your children feel secure, everything works better.

2. Prioritize. Start your work before your children wake. Lessen your pain with a jumbo cup of coffee!

3. Have a routine.  Having breakfast with my boys, taking them to school, eating together, reading and snuggle-time are crucial.

4.  Have a “Mommy Time Out”.   Moms who run their own businesses also need “time out.”  As they say if mom isn’t happy, no one is. Take ten minutes to meditate, get a massage, or phone a friend to rejuvenate and preserve your sanity.

5.  Delegate.  Being a mom and business owner gives you the right to delegate, which means surrounding yourself with a team of positive, dedicated, high energy people.  My husband is my biggest supporter. We both work, and we make our schedules coordinate with the kids’ as best we can. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! It’s always better than having a meltdown.

Follow these tips and you will be an uber Divalysscious Mom. Remember, making yourself a priority is not something to feel guilty about! Happy moms make happy kids.

Today’s author is Lyss Stern, founder and CEO of Divalysscious Moms. Also on Facebook and Twitter.

“Mommy Entrepeneur’s Recipe for Divalysscious Success”-Part 1

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

As the owner of Divalysscious Moms, a luxury lifestyle company for mothers and families, and the mother of two young children (Jackson, 7, and Oliver, 4), I am frequently asked how I balance motherhood, owning/operating my own business and making “me” time.  While every successful mother and business owner has a unique routine that works for her, I like to give other mothers my “Divalysscious Tips,” the ingredients I recommend for “Mommy Entrepreneur Success.”

1. Your Children Come First. That means that any email and phone call can wait until the children are happy and settled. With today’s technology, everything seems urgent; however, it’s not. When your children feel secure, everything works better.

2. Prioritize. Start your work before your children wake up even if it means rising at 4:30am to answer e-mails, approve designs and do research. Lessen your pain with a jumbo cup of coffee!

3. Have a routine.  Having breakfast with my boys and taking them to school  crucial aspects of my daily life. Most nights, I put my Blackberry down so I can eat with them, bathe them, read to them and snuggle before bedtime. After they’re sleeping, I can finish up my work.

Follow these tips — adapting them to your life and family — and you will be an uber Divalysscious Mom. Remember, making yourself a priority is not something to feel guilty about! Happy moms make happy kids.

Today’s guest author is Lyss Stern, Founder and CEO of Divalysscious Moms. For more, follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Let’s Get REAL About Motherhood and Life

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Since we’ve been discussing the thoughts which bind us,  let’s review several myths about motherhood/life.  If you’re not a mom, substitute the word “women” and whatever situation pertains.

1. Myth: Good mothers never make mistakes. They always know the right thing to do. Reality: All mothers make mistakes. The trick is to learn from them and not wound yourself with guilt.

2. Myth: Motherhood is always bliss. Reality: Motherhood is likely to be the most challenging and rewarding experience you will ever know. Each woman will experience it in her unique way.

3. Myth: Motherhood is easy. You automatically know what to do. Reality: Being a “good enough” mom is hard work. It is a journey not a destination.

4. Myth: Good mothers sacrifice everything. Reality: No woman is a bottomless pitcher. You must replenish your resources regularly or your health will be compromised.

5. Myth: Motherhood is instinctual. Reality: Motherhood is a learning process. It is in the “doing” that you become a mother.

Sound daunting? Here’s one thought-changing strategy. Take any belief and ask yourself what’s the evidence that this is true? My personal favorite is #4. Take #4 and observe how you feel when you sacrifice everything? Martyrdom is rarely pretty and lessens the qualities, like patience and kindness, which make you a good mom/person. Then substitute the reality-based statement above which the evidence is likely to support.

Preview Chapter 6 of Life Will Never Be the Same for more ideas. The more you release judgemental thoughts, the better you’ll feel. For inspiration, click here.

Free Yourself to Be Yourself: Mary Oliver’s “The Journey”

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

To continue the theme of examining your life from Monday’s post, we wanted to share a favorite poem “The Journey” by Mary Oliver in which she describes how ultimately we must abide by our “inner voice” if we are to survive. Imagine our delight when we discovered this is also Maria Shriver’s favorite poem which she presented for National Poetry Day at the 2011 Women’s Conference.

So sit back, relax (well maybe) and enjoy the following rendition of “The Journey.” Then let us know what you think. Is this too radical to imagine or not? If so, what may be standing in your way? What would it take to free yourself to be yourself?

For Prego Moms: Beat the Summer Heat!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom", Uncategorized

We’ve been discussing all types of ways to engage in self-care.
No time is more important than when you’re pregnant.

Prego Factoid: During your pregnancy, your body produces
approximately 50% more blood and body fluids to meet the needs of the developing baby. Swelling is a normal part of pregnancy that is caused by this additional blood and fluids. Normal swelling, which is also called edema, is experienced in the hands, face, legs, ankles, and feet.

Swelling can happen at any point during your pregnancy but is
usually noticeable around your fifth month; it can increase while you are in
the third trimester. Here’s why it happens: Summertime heat, standing for longer periods of time, “long” days of activity, diets low in potassium, higher
levels of caffeine consumption, and too much sodium.

Now for the self-care part! Eating foods that are high in potassium such as bananas and avoiding caffeine can reduce your swelling. Here are helpful hints:

  • Avoid standing for long periods
  • Minimize outdoor time when it is hot
  • Rest with your feet elevated
  • Wear comfortable shoes, avoiding high heels if possible
  • Wear supportive tights or stockings
  • Avoid clothes that are tight around your wrists or ankles
  • Have your legs massaged
  • Remove your rings before your fingers swell up
  • Drink water which helps flush the body and reduce water
    retention
  • Minimize sodium (salt) intake, avoid adding additional salt to
    meals

If you follow a regimen of self-care, you’ll always feel better!  Today’s guest author is Mollee of pregnancy.org.

Redefining “vacation” (when you have kids)

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I’m on “vacation” right now. I put the word in quotes because, well, it doesn’t exactly feel like vacation.

Sure, we’re staying in a family friend’s lovely condo (for free!) in North Carolina,  steps from a gorgeous pool and a 30-minute drive to the beach.  How lucky are we?

But with a 5-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son along, this week has been a lot more work than relaxation. Starting with the two-day road trip to get here, during which my son cried and coughed most of the way. Oh, and hotels? Two-year-olds don’t seem to “get” the concept, period. I got maybe
two hours of sleep that night.

In between naps, stopping to pee, retrieving endless snacks and drinks (kids don’t seem to get the concept of “meals,” either), beach trauma, pool trauma, carseat discomfort – you name it – we’re happy to get even an hour a day of true R&R during our vacation.

But, the kids are having fun.  My daughter invented the sport of “wave jumping” in the ocean (with help from Mom or Dad) and is quite proud of herself. My son has decided swimming is the best thing ever, even if he has no fear of drowning or clue about how to actually stay afloat.

From packing and traveling to settling in and returning home, I can’t help but wonder: Is going on vacation really worth it? And when do I get a vacation to recover from this one?

Today’s author is Susan Wenner-Jackson of WMAG.

Noticing Your Gains When Things Don’t Work Out

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Since it’s summertime, we thought we’d lighten the mood. What follows looks at what can be gained when things don’t work out.

While on vacation in May, I tried to whiten my teeth. The first time I attached the plastic whitening strip to my lower teeth, it fell off. After several attempts, I gave up and decided it wasn’t my thing. Then this Saturday, I tried again and succeeded immediately. Although this example may seem trivial. life is filled with large and small tasks which if we give up the first time we fail, we’ll never learn what we can accomplish.

Last week one of my clients described the trouble she’d had with several tile contractors. She openly acknowledges her perfectionism and has been working on learning to let things go so she can feel better. Honestly, she’d done fine until the second tile guy lost it because she asked him to replace a cracked tile and to reset another which wasn’t level with the rest.  He’d advertised himself as “no drama, no trauma.” LOL.

What did she learn? First, to trust her gut. She’d thought about terminating him the week before but was trying to adjust her expectations instead.  Sometimes the other person really is the problem.  Second, although things went poorly it wasn’t a disaster and she didn’t torture herself by dwelling on it.

So, the next time things don’t work out, look for something to be gained. Then, shift into self-care mode, breathe deeply and smile 🙂

Self-Care for New Families and Parents

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Bringing a new baby home often feels overwhelming and exhausting.  The regular feedings of a newborn, physical recovery from birth, and changes in relationships contribute to the shock experienced by new families. A myriad of information on parenting exists and most theories focus on either the needs of the mother or the needs of the baby.   There is no perfect formula to parenting and no answer that works for every family. Viewing parenting as a relationship can help parents navigate a way that works for their family.

The relationship between a mother and child is symbiotic.  The needs of both members must be met consistently and appropriately or the relationship is jeopardized.  Ensuring the mother is physically, emotionally, and spiritually nourished is essential to her well-being.  When a mother’s needs are unmet, she may feel resentful, depressed, or overwhelmed. When a mother is unbalanced, she cannot provide the positive energy needed for her infant and soon neither party is nurtured optimally.

Self-care is an important part of wellness and feeling positive towards the mothering role. Self-care may include exercise, innercise(breathing, yoga and meditation practices), good nutrition, and activities that make the mother feel energized and good about herself. Couples must take the
time to nurture one another.   When the needs of the mother, baby and couple are met successfully, parents feel confident and families become stronger. Finding the balance and harmony is more important than following a prescribed method of parenting.

Today’s guest author is Jamie Bodily, postpartum doula.

Post-Birth Stress and New Moms

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

You’ve survived nine months, have a beautiful baby in your arms
and can’t stop crying. If you’re feeling depleted, you’re not alone.
Motherhood is profoundly fulfilling but can be the most stressful and
demanding activity you’ll have.

The media tends to ignore the challenges faced and instead gives out
chirpy advice. Worse yet, it tends to make moms feel like it’s
their fault they’re run down.

Practicing self-care should be more than just a mantra. I called for
self-care to be a revolution. Perhaps there is a happy medium that’s
attainable.

Self-care is more meaningful than “chirpy advice.” Since we can’t add more hours to our day (who’d really want to) new parents should create a regimen of self-care that works for their family. Not every piece of advice is going to work for everyone.

Consider these solutions:
• Delegate household responsibilities
• Consider “outsourcing” household responsibilities
• “Plan” your life by calendaring and making solid choices
• Get rid of what doesn’t work in your daily lives
• Go for quality not quantity and relax
• Mandate “breaks” for yourself and really take them
• Reduce stress by exercising

Choose what sounds good and put it into action.

Today’s guest author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves, feel safe and get advice on how to take care of, pamper, and check-in with themselves. These tools help them conquer their challenges. We welcome you to join us!

Striving for Underachievement

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Have you noticed that we live in an achievement-oriented society (at least those
of us in the U.S.)? Many people feel like they are wasting time if they are not
producing, attaining or completing something. It can get exhausting at times!
Sometimes the only occasion we give ourselves a break is on vacation  and many
times even those are meticulously planned out to the minute, leaving little real
relaxation time.

When is the last time that you aspired to “underachieve?” I’m talking about
taking a day off to do “nothing” like watching TV, movies, reading a book,
staying in your pajamas, eating ice cream? Have a day to turn off your phone and
computer, to not do any errands or chores, take a nap or go within? When is the
last time you were able to take a whole day to “play it by ear?” I hope your answer involves some time recently, but if it doesn’t, why not“ try underachievement”soon?

When you give yourself permission to not do anything productive, there’s
no reason to feel guilty. You may, however, feel a little pampered – and that’s
generally a pretty good feeling!

Today’s guest author, Stacey Glaesmann, LPC has a private counseling practice in Pearland, Texas where she specializes in treating perinatal mood disorders. She wrote her first book, “What About Me? A Simple Guide to Self-Care in the 21st Century” in 2007. She can be reached through her website at www.pearlandtherapy.com.