Category: Thursday “Words of Wisdom”

It’s Summertime-Don’t Forget Yourself

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

It’s summertime when many of our schedules are crammed with kid and family activities. Several months ago, Susan Wenner-Jackson, co-founder of Working Moms Against Guilt wrote a great post about rediscovering herself after having children. We decided to rerun it so you don’t forget yourself during this busy season.

“As a mom, my only times alone with my thoughts have been 10 minutes in the shower or commuting to work. And guess what I was thinking? “Man, this shower feels good” or “I really hate this $#&@ing traffic.” Deep stuff.

Perhaps because my almost-5-year-old is more independent and my 19-month-old is no longer a baby, I’m now emerging from the mom-cocoon. It also helps that I work for myself, from home, with child care. As I poke my head (antennae?) out, I’m looking around saying, “What about me? What do I want?”

I’m allowing myself to move up my priority list. How do I want to spend my time? What do I want to experience or accomplish? It’s exciting to ponder these questions. I’m still a mom, with all the responsibilities and joys that come with it. But I’m also a person — who’s enjoying getting reacquainted with herself again.”

It doesn’t take long to reconnect with yourself. Spend 15-20 minutes each day doing something you enjoy whether it’s sipping coffee, sitting in a comfy chair daydreaming or painting your nails. Keep your thoughts on yourself and what you’re doing. Don’t let the summer pass by without making me-time. Have a great one.

Pick Your Pie

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

“For those of you who feel overwhelmed and yet can’t see what you could eliminate from your schedule, I’d like to address a few things here. First, I want you to know that life really isn’t a competition. I think we can all agree that a little competitiveness is good-it motivates, keeps us on our toes and helps us do our best. But when you feel everything you do is being compared to someone else, it can make you a little crazy!

I’m not knocking being the best at something. But there are tons of other positions in life. You’re probably familiar with them despite killing your Self to be number one. I’m urging you right now to just do the best you can (and let your kids do the same) and then relax.

Instead of ‘putting your fingers in so many pies’ I’m urging you to limit your kids’ activities to one, maybe two, things a week. Just think how much more family time you’ll have! I’m urging you to choose one, maybe two volunteer activities you feel passionate about and let the others go. You will find you have more time and energy than you’ve had in a long time. Believe me when I say no one is judging you for what you are or aren’t doing. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own lives to give yours more than a brief notice.”

Today’s author is Stacey Glaesmann, MA, LPC. Her book is What About Me?

Motherhood and Guilt

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

 When I went to write this post before my children, ages 19 and 23 had dinner, my husband said to me, “What kind of mother are you?” because I put a bag of lettuce on the table with dressing and left.  Now my children are certainly old enough to put it in a bowl for themselves; however, as a younger mom I would have chastised myself for not serving it “right.”  While those days are mostly behind me, this inspired me to write about  guilt and motherhood, borrowing from our book, “Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide .”     

“It’s a difficult task to try to maintain your pre-baby life…You may feel as if you never have enough time for everything you want to do.  If you neglect your own needs or your partner or your job, you feel guilty.  And you feel guilty if you put any of those priorities above the baby’s needs.  Guilt just comes with the territory at times.”

Now, substitute whatever stage of parenting pertains to you.  It’s all the same.  Moms everywhere feel they’re falling short, resulting in GUILT.  So, here’s what we recommend.  First, “focus on what you accomplish rather than what you leave undone.”  Second, “you may also need to lower your standards and set less ambitious goals for a while,” like me with the salad.  Finally, find other moms in similar situations for support and validation.

Try our friends at Working Moms Against Guilt for a great web resource.  And forget the salad bowl.

Self-Care and Your Higher Power

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

What is spirituality?  It can be a feeling of intense peace, a true connection with God or whatever your higher power is, or a complete faith that no matter what happens you will be okay.  Everyone has the potential for feeling spiritual but if you want it, you have to encourage its growth inside you.

Twenty years ago, during a time of turmoil in my life, I was talking with a very good friend. He is the kindest, calmest, happiest, most spiritual person I know. I told him I wanted what he had. He told me I could not have his, and that I had to find my own. I was dismayed.  Why couldn’t he just give me some?

So I learned that spirituality involves becoming aware of your unique spirit which is different for each human being.  It is your journey to find yourself.  It is recognizing that there is a spirit within you which is part of a higher power that extends everywhere.

It is learning to be kind and caring to yourself and others you do and don’t know. It means letting go of judgmentalism, negativism, and selfishness. Ultimately, it leads to  understanding that all living things are connected to one another because all are aspects of divine consciousness.

As Chief Seattle said,

“Man did not weave the web of life

  He is merely a strand of it

  Whatever he does to the web

  He does to himself.”

Real Mom Ariel

 

 Let your spirituality shine inside and out. 

Today’s author is Ariel Martin, M.A., Pastoral Care Director and Counselor.