Tag: building new habits

Spring (Give Me a) Break!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in March Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Hey, parents! What time is it? SPRING BREAK TIME! “What gave it away?” you ask. Yes, the students are bouncing off of the walls, but that’s not it. What alerts me are the bleary-eyed looks I get from parents when I mention the one-week school vacation.

Spring Break was designed to give students and teachers a rest from the rigors of the second half of the school year. Families sometimes take advantage of this time to go on trips and spend time together. But do we really do what we want to over the Break or are we too focused on doing what others are doing?

“Maria’s family is going to Disneyland,” my daughter reported one year after I told her we had no plans for Spring Break. I felt a twinge of guilt (synonym for mother) and inferiority when I thought about what Maria’s parents had planned for their family trip. In fact, most of my daughter’s friends were going out of town for at least part of the week. We were staying home, much to my kiddo’s chagrin.

When the week was over, Maria’s mom came by. I noticed the bags under her eyes and her eyelids at half-mast as she described their “incredibly fun” trip. “So, you’d recommend that we go some time?” I asked as she got up to leave. She stopped, turned to look directly at me and said, “I’d recommend that you do what you want to do. ‘Cuz doing what everybody else wants to do sucks.”

http://www.pearlandtherapy.com

I couldn’t have said it better myself! This Spring Break, ask yourself what it is that YOU want and need. Maybe it is a trip to Disneyland, but chances are, you and your family need a little rest and relaxation. And no matter how fun an amusement park is, it promotes anything but rest. The idea is to return to school and work feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, so give yourself a Break and make it happen!

Spring is the Time to Take Control

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in March Tips, Monday Musings

Spring has come to symbolize a time for new beginnings, starting from a clean slate, or thinking about the choices we’ve made or didn’t make. Take a moment to think about the past year, and how it played out. Are you satisfied? What would you change?

Paul Simon in a song said, “Seasons change with the scenery, weaving time in a tapestry…” Our lives are complex and at times complicated. Do we give ourselves the chance to start anew? How much do we care about what we’re going through at any given moment?

Logically, we all care on some level. That’s what self-care is all about. It’s more than getting a massage, being nice to yourself, or getting yourself flowers. Don’t get me wrong, that’s all great stuff, but we need to do more for ourselves, each other, and in our community.

The most common phrase we hear from other women (including ourselves) is, “I don’t have time to…” Why don’t we? What is the real reason? What prevents us from embracing inner peace, health and wellness, or achieving success?

More often than not it’s fear and doubt. This pair is among the top killers of innovation, success, and happiness. This spring, clobber the dirty duo and engage with your inner you, take charge and reset!

 

 

Today’s guest author is Mollee Bauer, founder of pregnancy.org, the premiere website for info and support for pregnant and new moms.

 

Regretfully Yours…

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in March Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Dictionary.com defines regret as “a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.” When I hear people speak of their regrets, they are usually thinking about their pasts. But we all know that we can’t change the past and we can’t predict the future. So, what function do regrets really have?

Author Rory Cochrane once said, “I do not regret the things I’ve done, but those I did not do.” So whether you’re thinking of something you wish you hadn’t done or maybe something you wish you had, regret can function as a guide for present-moment decisions. And all we have is the gift of right now – that’s why it’s called the “present.”

Personally, I can honestly say I have no regrets. I’m one of those people that believe that everything happens for a reason, so what is there to regret? The Cochrane quote really had a big impact on me the first time I read it. I have been an anxious person most of my life, and was allowing the fear to make my world smaller and smaller. Reading that quote made something “click” in my head and helped me say “yes” to things that I wanted to do but usually would have said “no” to out of fear of the unknown.

Are there things that you regret? Perhaps there’s a person that you’d like to reconnect with or a situation that you can correct. Today is the first day of March. While Spring doesn’t officially start until the 20th, why not start anew today? Fix the things you can and work on letting go of the things you can’t. Regret, like guilt, can be an excellent motivator, but hanging onto it too long is just a waste of precious energy.

Don’t Let Conflict (Or Fear) Destroy Your Relationships

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

February is the month that is the most closely associated with romantic relationships. But what about other relationships? We have many of them: kids, parents, siblings, in-laws, friends. Sometimes it’s easy to avoid or ignore a relationship and let it die. At times, it’s essential to cut ties with people who are unhealthy for you. But what about the people we love, but won’t interact with?

Relationships die for many reasons. Conflict is a big factor in this. I have a friend who moved away several years ago. She didn’t move that far; her home is just a few hours away (can you tell I live in Texas yet?). But I don’t know what’s going on in her life anymore and she doesn’t know about mine.

This is a woman I have known for 15 years. We used to talk about everything and help each other out whenever needed. What happened to us? We had a big argument right after she moved. Neither one of us would budge. Now I feel sad every time I think of her.

I’m afraid to call her. “What if she hates me?” I always think. Most likely this is a distorted thought. I know that if she called me, I would be glad to hear from her. So, I am going to make that call today.

I urge you to reconnect with anyone that is special to you who you have avoided due to conflict. It can be scary to face but most of the time, anger dissolves into relief once you take the steps to reach out.

Making Your Resolutions Stick!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

January is coming to an end and our New Year’s resolutions are in full swing…or are they? How do we make the resolutions we committed to come to fruition? These ideas might help you get rid of bad habits and kick-start that new phase in your life.

1. Pick just one thing. If you’re aiming to change your life, don’t try to do it all at
once. Pick one area or thing to change and start there.
2. Plan ahead. To ensure success, research the change and plan ahead so you’re
prepared.
3. Anticipate problems. There is always going to be something. Identify what
could possibly crop up.
4. Pick a start date (one that’s really attainable). Who says you have to make
these changes today? Pick a date and stick to it.
5. Just “Go for It.” When you hit that date, go for that goal 100%. Make the
commitment; write it down on a card. Keep that card with you at all times to
reinforce the goal.
6. Accept failure. We’re human. Realize that you’re not going to be perfect.
7. Plan on rewards. If you hit your goal, and keep to your resolutions, reward
yourself with something that really makes you tick.

Whatever your plans for 2012, we wish you the best on your endeavors.
Don’t forget that your life is your own; you make your own luck, and decide how you get there!

Today’s author is Mollee Bauer, founder of pregnancy.org where smart, savvy moms go for the best advice and support on the web.

Oh, Where Does the Time Fly?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

[OK, please don’t smack me!] Wow! It’s already more than half way through
January, 2012! Can you even believe it? One of the things that I have never truly
been able to do successfully is to set aside a normal “regular” day to be more of
a “really important” one here and there. If you look at every day as a gift, true “lesser important” days can’t even occur.

Every day is as significant as the last; however, it may just not appear that way because a lot of “normal ol’ stuff” and “regular” days do have a lot of overlap. Yes, we get up, go to work, perhaps go to the gym, rinse and repeat. That’s one of the reasons health and fitness professionals suggest that a varied routine is one that you will stick to over the weeks, months and years – well, that, and getting a workout buddy! There’s just something nice about knowing that another person is trying to do the exact same thing you are and is probably experiencing the exact same obstacles, too. Put your two heads together and perhaps you’ll be able to surmount the same challenges in half the time!

If working out isn’t your thing, buddying up with someone pursuing the same goal still improves your chances for success. In fact, social support is key in making change stick. Join us in encouraging each other to keep livingselfcare one day at a time. Together, let’s create the changes and lives we desire.

Making Changes That Fit With Who We Are

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

This month we’ve been talking about how to succeed at our New Year’s resolutions. If you’re just joining us, we’ve discussed: 1) setting goals which are realistic, attainable and important; 2) drawing inspiration from and encouragement from others; 3) remembering change is a process which occurs in steps; and 4) accepting personal responsibility for what we want to happen.

After reading the latest issue of Oprah on how to “Express Yourself” and getting an e-mail from Jean Houston on  “Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose,” I thought about another important ingredient. Being certain the changes we want to make fit who we truly are or reflect the “essence” of what’s inside of us. If that sounds heady, it’s not but it is challenging.

As women, we often choose goals that reflect what we think other people want for approval and security. We choose careers, interests and relationships that may not nourish us but are the “right” thing to do. Then we wonder why we don’t feel motivated to exercise more, organize our house or prepare healthy meals. It’s because these changes don’t necessarily reflect who we are. Not that everything can but at least something should.

This year resolve to choose one change that feeds your soul. Express your creativity through writing, photography, or art. Desiring more adventure, go ziplining, whitewater rafting, or skydiving. Visit Lesley Carter’s site for great ideas. Release your inner diva through song, dance and personal style-like The Cubicle Chick. Whatever you choose, be fearless and make it your own!

Make New Year’s Resolutions You Can Keep

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

The New Year is a time of renewal and change, but what, exactly, ARE New Year’s Resolutions?

Dictonary.com defines “resolution” as: the mental state or quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose. Resolute alludes to making a decision; a popular one being losing weight. However, the difference between a decision and a resolution is significant. It’s easy to say, “I’m going to the gym three times per week this year.” It is also easy to NOT go to the gym three times per week. So, unless you stick with a plan (or resolution), you have not made a decision.

So, what makes a good New Year’s Resolution?

Number one: it has to be realistic. You cannot expect yourself to go from exercising only when you go up the stairs to getting to the gym 5 days per week! Number two: you have to know it’s attainable: if there’s no gym in your town and you would have to drive 25 miles to get there, then how attainable is that, really? Number three: it has to be important. If you make a resolution to lose 10 pounds and you really don’t care if it happens, then its not important to you.

Here are some ideas for Self-Care New Year’s Resolutions:

Stacey Glaesmann, LPC

• Take 15 minutes every day for “me” time
• Set aside 30 minutes to 2 hours per week to be completely lazy (do nothing
productive during this time)
• Say “no” more often
• Visualize yourself in your “Happy Place” five minutes per day

Commit to Your Inspiration-Perspiration Workout for 2012

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Each year I try to come up with “new” New Year’s resolutions, but most of the time I return to the same ones. Those haunting “life issues” that persist in spite of my best intentions. Two of my finest are: 1) Don’t take things personally; and 2) Don’t make assumptions.

This year, I decided to get ahead by listening to one of my favorite audiobooks about changing these habits, The Four Agreements. In it, Don Miguel Ruiz maps out a detailed plan of how to stop taking things personally and making assumptions. Usually, I listen to these inspirational messages on the way to and from work. It helps strengthen my commitment to change and persistence.

I’ve been doing this for several years and it’s a strategy I think most of us can benefit from. However, here comes the perspiration part. There is no way I (or anyone else) can change our thoughts or actions without choosing different ones. Like Nike says, “Just Do It.” Throughout the day, I have abundant opportunities (as most of us do) to be aware of these thoughts and to challenge my “stinking thinking.”

Last week, I heard from a friend I’d phoned  2 weeks ago forgetting she’d gone out of town. In the meantime, I’d decided that I’d offended her and that’s why she hadn’t called. My #2 “Don’t make assumptions.” Clearly, I haven’t practiced this enough.

I’m committed to my inspiration-perspiration workout for 2012. What are you resolved to change? What inspires/strengthens your resolve? Let us know.

Are You Ready to Make Change Stick?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Einstein said “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it. ” So how are you prepared to approach your New Year’s resolutions differently this year in order for them  to succeed?

The truth is good intentions only go so far and then there is the hard work of continuing to change day after day.  The following are some recommendations to help you make change stick.

  1. Think big.  Start small.  Break down the change you want to make into attainable steps.  For example, if you want to exercise and you haven’t been to the gym in years, dedicate 30 minutes twice a week to go for a walk or take a fitness class.  Create goals you can maintain.  Once you’ve mastered one step, take the next one.
  2. Remember change is a process.  Habits take time to learn and longer to unlearn.  How long have you been smoking? Overeating? If it’s been longer than a year or two, it’s probably something you do automatically.  Start by consciously monitoring when you smoke, overeat, etc. and making a different choice which will eventually become a new, healthier habit.
  3. Be accountable.  Only you can make change happen whether it’s losing weight or quitting smoking.  No matter how much work or relationship stress you experience, doesn’t mean you have to reach for a Big Mac or a cigarette. Only you have the power to change your life.

What are your New Year’s resolutions? How are you making change stick? What’s working or not?