Tag: diane sanford

Self-Care Brings Holiday Cheer

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

With Hanukah tomorrow and 6 days until Christmas, holiday stress is peaking. So this week, we’re focusing on self-care basics to preserve health, happiness, and your remaining sanity. First, make time to eat; your body can’t run without fuel. Exercise once or twice by going to the gym, walking your dog, or riding your bike. Recharge your emotional engine by making time to savor what you enjoy-a  great cup of coffee, a manicure, or visiting a friend. Feed your spirit by walking in nature, positive affirmations, and giving to others.

Second, practice relaxation. Take breaks in the day. Stop running around at record speeds. The “perfect gift” doesn’t exist so stop and breathe. Close your eyes and spend 5 minutes, breathing in to the count of 3, holding for a couple seconds and then out to the count of 3. If a thought creeps in, let it go. Focus you attention on your heart spreading calm and warmth through your body. Repeat 2-3 times a day. Studies show that relaxation boosts immunity, lessens pain and improves mood.

Finally, spend your time wisely. Choose one activity which makes the holidays special for you and Do It! Maybe baking or caroling or watching a holiday DVD. Don’t let your “to do” list consume you. Prioritize what has to get done, and cut out what you can. Stop and think “Will doing this make me feel good” or tired and stressed. The better you feel, the more you’ll enjoy the holidays and so will those around you.

Holiday Survival in the Suburbs-Part 1

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I love holiday traditions and making things fun and bright. I don’t love stress though or being overwhelmed. Hmm…you may wonder, how does that work?

As I thought about this year’s holiday madness, I wanted to list the things that help me stay calm when I get stressed (and I do!) If there’s so much stress involved, is it any fun….and more to the point worth it?!

First, remember people would rather be invited to a messy house with delivery pizza than not invited. Recently my friend Mimi called at the last minute, “Having people over, want to come?” Four families showed up for a pot-luck supper while we watched the Cardinals win game seven. Yes!

 Second, have the attitude,  “Let’s make this a party!”

Then combine friends, good food (a recipe I’ve been wanting to try), a party attitude and…the space to play. For kids that means either outside or in a basement. I can’t remember a time when the kids have been unhappy with this.

Being spontaneous can also work in your favor. Recently we were at friends and the hostess said, “I just got these Midnight Special videos, do you want to watch?” We were skeptical, but said yes. It turned out to be one of the most entertaining evenings we’ve had singing along to favorites from the ‘70’s and ‘80’s and sharing stories about our lives then. Totally fun.

Today’s author Pam Wilson is author of S.O.S From Suburbia. For more info visit www.sosfromsuburbia.vpweb.com.

Make Self-Care Your Holiday Gift

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

This past week I went to Hilton Head, SC for a conference on the psychology of health, immunity and disease, or how our emotions and thoughts affect our biology. I loved it and got to attend with one of my best friends which made it most enjoyable. Even so a week beforehand, I started to panic. How could I abandon my clients during the holidays? How could I be so insensitive and selfish? What was I thinking when I made my plans in August? Clearly, I wasn’t.

However, when my plane left St.Louis last Wednesday, I felt happy and peaceful with my Starbucks in one hand and Real Simple in the other. My guilt pangs lessened. In fact, my joy and contentment heightened as my journey progressed. I wasn’t dwelling on the responsibilities I’d left behind or the distressed calls which might greet me when I returned. I was giving myself a self-care holiday and it felt great!

I even chose to stay an extra night so I wouldn’t have to rush home just as the conference ended. Instead, I walked on the beach, visited the bookstore, got the best facial ever, and watched a movie in my room while sitting on my bed eating tuna salad followed by white chocolate bread pudding. Truly, heaven on earth.

Now, whatever happens, I’m ready-refueled and restored. Except maybe for a little more dessert.

What are your self-care plans this week? As we say, self-care isn’t selfish it’s self-preserving and it feels great!

Make Time to Heal

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

“As I checked into the hospital in labor with my daughter this past March, a preemie who had just been born rolled past me.  His tiny body was hooked up to dozens of wires and he was closely followed by a team of concerned doctors.  A flood of overwhelming emotion poured over me and I felt like I was having a panic attack.  The panic stayed with me and I didn’t know why.

The morning we were going home with our new baby, I finally realized what triggered the panic.  Three years earlier in that same hospital I gave birth to my son Brendan under emergency circumstances.  Born 2 months premature, he had a rocky 6 week stay in the NICU and we came close to losing him.  Since then, I had been so completely involved in doctor’s appointments, therapy sessions and advocating for him in every possible way, I had completely forgotten myself.  With the exception of the day we almost lost him, I hadn’t shed a tear, had a conversation or done anything to recover emotionally.  Between giving birth and seeing the preemie wheeled to the NICU, my body couldn’t hold it in anymore.

I spent the next few hours speaking to different doctors, including the neonatologist who saved Brendan’s life.  I sobbed, laughed and just let it all out.  The cloud of panic lifted and I felt ready to bring my beautiful baby girl home.  From that moment, I understood the importance of self-care.  I returned to the gym, reconnected with my husband and built a support group of moms with similar experiences.  As mothers, we are the greatest caregivers in the world, yet we often don’t take care of ourselves until life forces us to.

Today’s guest author is Liza of www.sagespoonfuls.com, providing ideas, info and inspiration about making the healthiest babyfood possible.

Read This for Holiday Stress Relief

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

The holidays are here with fun-filled and stress-filled times sandwiched together, not unlike raising children, work, marriage and other life pursuits. So, here are some recommendations to make the holidays calmer and happier.

First, have realistic expectations of yourself.  Many of us feel disappointed because our “fairytale images” don’t materialize. Instead, focus on feeling good from the inside out.  Build a fire and roast marshmallows, shop with a friend, or take a long walk in the woods.  Meditate, workout, read, or  listen to music.  Feed your soul.

Second, have realistic expectations of others.  No one’s family or friends are perfect, and the holidays won’t change this.  Since we can’t change them, we need to rely on ourselves to gather what’s positive and let go of the negative.  Create new family traditions so they don’t stir up bad memories.  If a situation becomes too negative, leave.

Likewise, don’t take relationship stress too personally.   If your partner snaps about household clutter because they’re stringing Christmas lights while baking cookies, understand it’s their problem.  Don’t let them take their bad mood out on you but don’t react poorly either.  After all, love is the true intention of the season and it starts with you.

Finally, if you need a gift for a pregnant or new mom,  preview our new book, Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide at http://www.realmomexperts.com.  It’s filled with great advice for surviving and thriving new motherhood and beyond.  You might enjoy it too!

A Self-Care Christmas

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

It’s tempting to get caught up in the quest to give our loved ones the “perfect Christmas” — especially when we see visions of it plastered all over our television screens and in magazines.That’s a lot of pressure and work. And if something goes wrong, we feel we’ve failed.

Last year I realized the “cure” for holiday burnout was to shift my perspective. We still put up a tree, decorated the outside of the house with lights and bought presents. We just scaled back a bit. The emphasis was on finding balance including mindful spending, skipping out on a few social obligations in lieu of more family time and forgoing the holiday baking. (Because I have enough dirty dishes piled up in the sink.) This year, I decided the “family present” would be to hire someone to deep clean the house before hosting company. (So maybe that’s more of a gift for me. But we all know if mama’s not happy, no one is.)

I’m pretty sure when my son is grown and looks back on his childhood Christmases, he won’t remember how the tree was decorated or how many gifts he received. But he will remember the times we spent together laughing, lounging and loving every minute of each other’s company. And to me? That’s what’s most important.

Today’s author is Lisa Bertrand, founder of StLFamilyLife. We love this post and wanted to share it with you before you’re engulfed in holiday madness to help keep perspective.

It’s Cyber Monday-See If You’ve Won

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Press Release

True to our mission here at livingselfcare, Lauren and I took last week off to recharge and enjoy the holiday. Since today is Cyber Monday, we thought it would be fitting to announce the winners of our Nov.14-18 2011 Self-Care Challenge Contest.

Here they are:

dianne@femininefaceofmoney.com – $100 SpaWish certificate from Pregnancy.org

http://outoftheclearblue.wordpress.com – $25 Shutterfly Gift Certificate via Working Moms Against Guilt

melody.meiners@gmail.com – $25 Maternique Gift Certifiicate from Darline Turner-Lee of Mamas on Bedrest

starfish810@hotmail.com – Happy Family clothing & PSI Educational DVD via Postpartum Support International

felicia3@gmail.com– A copy of A Life’s Work by Rachel Cusk via Postpartum Progress

lisa07110@yahoo.com – Jewelry set via Mother to Mother Support

simply.homemade@yahoo.com– Deluxe Prize Basket from Real Mom Experts

Congratulations to all our winners! You’ll be contacted via email with additional details regarding how to claim your prizes.

Thank you again to all the wonderful Challenge Champions. We couldn’t have done it without you! Also, to all of you who participated in our weeklong self-care challenge. If you missed out, you can still go back to the posts and participate in the daily gratitude activities. Thankfulness is always timely and a great way to practice self-care.

Give Thanks Everyday

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

There have been certain times in my life that were more challenging than others. Challenges not only make you stronger, but they force you to get out of your normal and comfortable routine. Without challenges in our lives there is no room for growth or opportunity for gratitude.

My experience with postpartum depression was negative and frightening, but I am thankful that it created the stronger, better, mom and person I am now. I am thankful that my experience led me to help other moms struggling with the same feelings and let them know that they are not alone. I am thankful to have met so many wonderful people on my life’s journey.

Think about people you have met in your lifetime, the influence that each and every one of them has had on your life. Let someone know that you appreciate them. Thank someone for their time or kind gesture. Think about things you are you thankful for: a pet, flowers in your garden, the opportunity to travel. Giving thanks is a powerful positive message that can become part of your daily routine and improve your life. I didn’t learn to give thanks; it was something I created within myself. There are many benefits to giving thanks. Express gratitude today and always.

Linda Meyer is the Executive Director of Mother to Mother in St. Louis, MO. Mother to Mother provides free telephone support, group support and resources to women experiencing emotional difficulties during pregnancy and postpartum. www.mothertomothersupport.org

Spread Gratitude in Your Heart and Beyond

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Last week, our theme for the self-care challenge was expressing gratitude and thankfulness. Many of you commented that you liked Friday’s challenge which was to send gratitude to others by “choosing someone you want to express thanks to for what they’ve done, who they are or what they mean to you. It can be someone you’re close to or someone you may have fallen out of touch with. Let your heart and soul decide.

Then message that person via e-mail or Facebook, text them, make a call or send a note. Once they receive your message, ask them to choose someone to express their gratitude towards and contact them. The goal is to connect as many people as possible with thankfulness and appreciation, keeping the true spirit of the season alive. Let’s see how many cities, states, and countries we can reach and how far our message can spread.”

Since Thanksgiving is Thursday, we hope you’ll make this a weeklong activity. Let family and friends know your gratitude for them. Perform random acts of kindness like smiling at the grocery clerk or saying “Hi” to a neighbor. When someone is thoughtful towards you, show them your appreciation. Did you know that when you are kind or someone is thoughtful towards you, it improves your and their health and mood?  It also has a positive influence on those observing.

Join us on twitter and Facebook for conversation and support in spreading an attitude of gratitude. Best to all of you!

Let’s See How Far Our Gratitude Can Spread

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Press Release

It’s the final day of our self-care challenge and hopefully you’re less stresed and feeling better from this week’s gratitude activities. Now, it’s time to spread the cheer. Remember when you used to play telephone and whisper messages in your friends’ ears passing them from one to the next. At the end, you’d laugh over how the message changed and start again.

Today’s challenge is to send gratitude to others in whatever way works for you. Choose someone you want to express thanks to for what they’ve done, who they are or what they mean to you. It can be someone you’re close to or someone you may have fallen out of touch with. Let your heart and soul decide. You won’t be misled.

Then message that person via e-mail or Facebook, text them, make a call or send a note. Once they receive your message, ask them to choose someone to express their gratitude towards and contact them. The goal is to connect as many people as possible with thankfulness and appreciation, keeping the true spirit of the season alive. Let’s see how many cities, states, and countries we can reach and how far our message can spread.

At livingselfcare, we want to thank each of you for joining us this past week and sharing your posts and comments, and to each of the challenge champions for their participation and generosity. Let us always remember what we’re thankful for during the holidays and each day of our lives.