Tag: life balance

Hello, It’s Nice to Meet Me!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in March Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I just had the pleasure of seeing the movie 1,000 Words, starring Eddie Murphy, with my daughter. I wasn’t sure what to expect – a physical, bawdy comedy or a dramatic life lesson. Let’s say it was a good mix of the two – I recommend it!

The movie got me thinking about the masks we wear for others, and sometimes, even for ourselves. Fans of meditation will tell you that you truly do not know yourself until you have gone deep within and faced whatever demons lie in wait for you there. Thomas Moore called it, “The dark night of the soul.” You, the hero or heroine, then emerge all shiny and new and genuine.

I’m not sure how many methods there are to meeting your True Self; besides meditation, I’ve used imagery and yoga. My max time in sitting meditation has been maybe 5 minutes, so you see the problem there. But the movie renewed a strong desire in me to really find out who I am…me…not my job, my masks or the many hats I wear…ME.

What a great way to renew your spirit this Spring – to finally meet The Real You! At the very least, you’ll be amazed at just how many masks you do wear for others as well as yourself. And when you get some quiet, alone time, can you sit in silence, just with your breathing keeping you company? Or do you need the TV or radio on, or do you have to be reading something, keeping your mind in “escape mode?” We constantly distract ourselves from ourselves and don’t even realize it!

TRYING to meditate!

So give it a try! Leave a comment if you’re a veteran meditator or let me know how it’s going if you’re going to give one (or more!) of these methods a try!

At the Core

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in March Tips, Monday Musings

[Diane usually writes for Mondays, but she’s taking care of herself and is on vacation! So I’m happy to fill in while she gets some much needed R&R!]

I saw a client this morning who realized just how much of his belief system as an adult was shaped by his childhood. As these core beliefs emerge from the recesses of his mind, he chooses the ones that he deems healthy to hang onto and is working on changing the rest. In essence, he is “spring cleaning” his spirit.

So much of our core belief structure has been in place for so long that it generates automatic thoughts and judgments about a large variety of subjects. My client was able to isolate the thought that, “Overweight means lazy, having no direction and being a general loser at life.” As he is trying to lose a few pounds, he unconsciously identified with this statement and let it affect his self-esteem in a big, bad way. So, the first step of the process is to identify your core beliefs by paying attention to your thoughts.

Next, he defined “in shape” as, “Someone who is motivated, has sharp focus and is working toward concrete goals.” Does his definition match what’s in Webster’s Dictionary? No, it doesn’t. But by making his own definition, my client gained control over this area of his life. Each time he looks in the mirror, he reminds himself that he is mentally and emotionally “in shape,” and will soon be physically fit as well. This second step is to modify existing beliefs into something healthier.

The last step is to practice saying your new, healthy core beliefs to yourself as many times per day as you can. Like learning anything new, this skill requires repetition to make these beliefs into healthier automatic thoughts.

How many unhealthy core beliefs can you identify in yourself? Some may still serve you, but modifying and practicing the ones that don’t will allow you to overcome many obstacles in your life.

Spring (Give Me a) Break!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in March Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Hey, parents! What time is it? SPRING BREAK TIME! “What gave it away?” you ask. Yes, the students are bouncing off of the walls, but that’s not it. What alerts me are the bleary-eyed looks I get from parents when I mention the one-week school vacation.

Spring Break was designed to give students and teachers a rest from the rigors of the second half of the school year. Families sometimes take advantage of this time to go on trips and spend time together. But do we really do what we want to over the Break or are we too focused on doing what others are doing?

“Maria’s family is going to Disneyland,” my daughter reported one year after I told her we had no plans for Spring Break. I felt a twinge of guilt (synonym for mother) and inferiority when I thought about what Maria’s parents had planned for their family trip. In fact, most of my daughter’s friends were going out of town for at least part of the week. We were staying home, much to my kiddo’s chagrin.

When the week was over, Maria’s mom came by. I noticed the bags under her eyes and her eyelids at half-mast as she described their “incredibly fun” trip. “So, you’d recommend that we go some time?” I asked as she got up to leave. She stopped, turned to look directly at me and said, “I’d recommend that you do what you want to do. ‘Cuz doing what everybody else wants to do sucks.”

http://www.pearlandtherapy.com

I couldn’t have said it better myself! This Spring Break, ask yourself what it is that YOU want and need. Maybe it is a trip to Disneyland, but chances are, you and your family need a little rest and relaxation. And no matter how fun an amusement park is, it promotes anything but rest. The idea is to return to school and work feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, so give yourself a Break and make it happen!

Spring is the Time to Take Control

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in March Tips, Monday Musings

Spring has come to symbolize a time for new beginnings, starting from a clean slate, or thinking about the choices we’ve made or didn’t make. Take a moment to think about the past year, and how it played out. Are you satisfied? What would you change?

Paul Simon in a song said, “Seasons change with the scenery, weaving time in a tapestry…” Our lives are complex and at times complicated. Do we give ourselves the chance to start anew? How much do we care about what we’re going through at any given moment?

Logically, we all care on some level. That’s what self-care is all about. It’s more than getting a massage, being nice to yourself, or getting yourself flowers. Don’t get me wrong, that’s all great stuff, but we need to do more for ourselves, each other, and in our community.

The most common phrase we hear from other women (including ourselves) is, “I don’t have time to…” Why don’t we? What is the real reason? What prevents us from embracing inner peace, health and wellness, or achieving success?

More often than not it’s fear and doubt. This pair is among the top killers of innovation, success, and happiness. This spring, clobber the dirty duo and engage with your inner you, take charge and reset!

 

 

Today’s guest author is Mollee Bauer, founder of pregnancy.org, the premiere website for info and support for pregnant and new moms.

 

Regretfully Yours…

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in March Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Dictionary.com defines regret as “a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.” When I hear people speak of their regrets, they are usually thinking about their pasts. But we all know that we can’t change the past and we can’t predict the future. So, what function do regrets really have?

Author Rory Cochrane once said, “I do not regret the things I’ve done, but those I did not do.” So whether you’re thinking of something you wish you hadn’t done or maybe something you wish you had, regret can function as a guide for present-moment decisions. And all we have is the gift of right now – that’s why it’s called the “present.”

Personally, I can honestly say I have no regrets. I’m one of those people that believe that everything happens for a reason, so what is there to regret? The Cochrane quote really had a big impact on me the first time I read it. I have been an anxious person most of my life, and was allowing the fear to make my world smaller and smaller. Reading that quote made something “click” in my head and helped me say “yes” to things that I wanted to do but usually would have said “no” to out of fear of the unknown.

Are there things that you regret? Perhaps there’s a person that you’d like to reconnect with or a situation that you can correct. Today is the first day of March. While Spring doesn’t officially start until the 20th, why not start anew today? Fix the things you can and work on letting go of the things you can’t. Regret, like guilt, can be an excellent motivator, but hanging onto it too long is just a waste of precious energy.

Making Your Resolutions Stick!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

January is coming to an end and our New Year’s resolutions are in full swing…or are they? How do we make the resolutions we committed to come to fruition? These ideas might help you get rid of bad habits and kick-start that new phase in your life.

1. Pick just one thing. If you’re aiming to change your life, don’t try to do it all at
once. Pick one area or thing to change and start there.
2. Plan ahead. To ensure success, research the change and plan ahead so you’re
prepared.
3. Anticipate problems. There is always going to be something. Identify what
could possibly crop up.
4. Pick a start date (one that’s really attainable). Who says you have to make
these changes today? Pick a date and stick to it.
5. Just “Go for It.” When you hit that date, go for that goal 100%. Make the
commitment; write it down on a card. Keep that card with you at all times to
reinforce the goal.
6. Accept failure. We’re human. Realize that you’re not going to be perfect.
7. Plan on rewards. If you hit your goal, and keep to your resolutions, reward
yourself with something that really makes you tick.

Whatever your plans for 2012, we wish you the best on your endeavors.
Don’t forget that your life is your own; you make your own luck, and decide how you get there!

Today’s author is Mollee Bauer, founder of pregnancy.org where smart, savvy moms go for the best advice and support on the web.

Making Changes That Fit With Who We Are

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

This month we’ve been talking about how to succeed at our New Year’s resolutions. If you’re just joining us, we’ve discussed: 1) setting goals which are realistic, attainable and important; 2) drawing inspiration from and encouragement from others; 3) remembering change is a process which occurs in steps; and 4) accepting personal responsibility for what we want to happen.

After reading the latest issue of Oprah on how to “Express Yourself” and getting an e-mail from Jean Houston on  “Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose,” I thought about another important ingredient. Being certain the changes we want to make fit who we truly are or reflect the “essence” of what’s inside of us. If that sounds heady, it’s not but it is challenging.

As women, we often choose goals that reflect what we think other people want for approval and security. We choose careers, interests and relationships that may not nourish us but are the “right” thing to do. Then we wonder why we don’t feel motivated to exercise more, organize our house or prepare healthy meals. It’s because these changes don’t necessarily reflect who we are. Not that everything can but at least something should.

This year resolve to choose one change that feeds your soul. Express your creativity through writing, photography, or art. Desiring more adventure, go ziplining, whitewater rafting, or skydiving. Visit Lesley Carter’s site for great ideas. Release your inner diva through song, dance and personal style-like The Cubicle Chick. Whatever you choose, be fearless and make it your own!

Meet Stacey Glaesmann, Our New Self-Care Expert

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Hi! My name is Stacey Glaesmann, LPC. I am a counselor in private practice near Houston, TX. I wrote my first book, “What About Me? A Simple Guide to Self-Carein the 21st Century,” in 2007. If you want to take a look, visit http://www.pearlandtherapy.com.

What got me interested in self-care is that I kept noticing ALL of my clients were
concentrating on other people and external situations. This was draining their
mental resources. Some clients even made themselves sick because they never
took time for themselves. And honestly, I was doing the same thing. I felt unimportant because all I did was give. Now, with a daily self-care regimen that includes yoga and 30 minutes of “me time,” my cup gets replenished and THEN I can be of service to others.

I have been through a lot in my life, as I am sure you have. I have a
12 year-old daughter and a wonderful husband. I suffered from Postpartum Panic Disorder and Depression and I now know that one of the reasons I got sick was because I was NOT taking care of myself.

I am thrilled to be joining Diane at Living Self-Care. It’s my passion and I hope that my input makes a difference in just one life (more would be cool, too!). If you have any questions please feel free to email me at sglaesmann@yahoo.com. I’ll be seeing you on Thursdays! Remember: if your cup isn’t full, you won’t have anything to give others. Keep that cup full!

Recharge Your Battery to Welcome the New Year

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

For a healthy and happy new year, you need to have the energy to enjoy it. Our self-care tip this post-holiday weekend is to rest and recharge your battery.  Don’t put pressure on yourself for playdates, taking the children out or visiting friends and family unless that’s easier for you.  Resist preparing  gourmet meals, downloading holiday pictures or catching up on errands.  You have the entire  year ahead.

What to do instead?  Rest.  Restore.  Recharge.  No child has ever died from a diet of hot dogs and macaroni.  In fact, many of them prefer it.  They will gladly wear the same clothes and don’t care if their rooms are a mess.  Also, let them entertain themselves.  What about the new toys they took seconds to unwrap?  They can play with them!

The holidays are a particularly challenging time to balance our needs with those of others. But we must persist if we are to greet the new year with a healthy and positive outlook.

As we always say, you need to keep your pitcher filled to take care of yourself and those you love.  Don’t run yourself ragged like little Spudgy and miss out on the fun.  Give yourself a break this weekend.  You deserve it.   And get some sleep.

Holiday Survival in the Suburbs-Part 2

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Look for what worked before: remember what everyone liked and repeat it. For many years, we had our tradition of the Wednesday- before-Thanksgiving-cookie-day. After a lazy morning, we saw a movie, baked our favorite chocolate chip cookies and finished the day with cheeseburgers.

People love helping in the kitchen. I never have everything completely finished. People congregate in the kitchen anyway- give them purpose while visiting. Everyone loves doing something-especially if it’s not their house or their responsibility.

Find what works for you when/if you get stressed. When I do get stressed, I take big breaths and concentrate on the outcome I want. (I also eat chocolate and take a walk). Whatever healthy strategy you can find-exercise, gatherings with girlfriends, reading a book, a massage- make sure you take advantage and DO IT.

Focus on the positive. It makes me happy to focus on the simple, enjoyable and memorable. “It’s all good” can be a way of life. Think about your own circumstances, realize how fortunate you are and do something nice for someone.

Life is too precious to be stressed out by circumstances we may not remember. I believe if I am less stressed, the kids will be also. I try to take care of my family by not planning too much and by being in the moment with them.

Pam Wilson is the author of S.O.S From Suburbia, a humorous look at surviving the craziness of the suburbs which can be ordered on her website: www.sosfromsuburbia.vpweb.com