Tag: living life fully

Halloween: More trick than treat for those with mental illness?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Guest blogger, Holiday Sanity, Mental Health Education, October Tips

I came across a thought-provoking post today and wanted to share it here. The original post came from Healthy Place.

Halloween: More Trick Than Treat for Those With Mental Illness?

Halloween and Dia De Muertos (The Day of the Dead) can be child’s play. Ghosts, goblins, superheroes, Disney princesses and more bring both smiles and horror. For those with a mental illness, PTSD or panic, Halloween can conjure up very intense negative responses.

Sometimes horror flickers on the TV screen or in the movie theater, sometimes horror is found behind a mask, sometimes it comes to visit wrapped in “Trick or Treat!” Potential triggers lurk everywhere: black cats, oversized spiders, masks, horror movies and even costumes that perpetuate mental health stigma, domestic violence and much more. Ahhh, the midnight hour.

I Hate Halloween

I admit it – I hate Halloween with a passion. My dislike for Halloween began innocently enough: my birthday is the week before Halloween. Instead of a cake of my choosing, I used to get the horrid orange and black Halloween birthday cakes. There is nothing more unappetizing than black frosting. Next up: My 4th grade Halloween party. My teacher decided that fun would be turning off all of the lights in the room and having us stick our hands into bowls of food that represented body parts: elbow noodles for brains, olives for eyes and chicken liver for…well, you get the idea. Fun? Not so much when 15 kids are vomiting. Fast forward to 2003: I was assaulted on Halloween. My assailant wore a Halloween mask. Yep, I hate Halloween.

Halloween is Scary for Adult Trauma Survivors

For the adult survivor of trauma, Halloween can hold all the makings of flashbacks, panic and terror. The macabre comes out to play in the form of costumes, props and decorations. Whether it be fake blood, severed body parts, all-out zombie attacks, masks from classic horror films such as Friday the 13th, It, Saw, Nightmare on Elm Street, Pin Head, Scream or witch costumes or the props (knives, needles or impalement, anyone?), Halloween brings out those who enjoy Halloween for shock value. The beauty of Halloween is that for at least one day, we can be anything we wish: the shy become bold pirates, the geek becomes the hunk or diva, those who would suppose him or herself to be weak chooses to be a superhero. That is also the beast of Halloween.

Facing Halloween Can Be Difficult

If Halloween is troublesome for you, here are a few things that may be helpful:

  • Avoid watching television during this time.
  • Don’t give out candy or if you choose to give out candy, don’t answer the door by yourself.
  • Spend the evening doing things completely unrelated to Halloween.
  • Listen to some soothing music to help lower the hyper vigilance.
  • Eat the candy yourself. No one said you have to share it.

Some Inspiration for Your Weekend

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in October Tips

Active Shooter Events: What they don’t tell you

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Mental Health Education, October Tips

Since I am heavily involved in my community as the Neighborhood Watch Committee Chairperson, I decided to attend the local police department’s 12-week Citizens Police Academy. We meet every Thursday evening for 2 – 3 hours, depending on the topic. I’ve learned about things such as SWAT, hostage negotiation, traffic stops, building searches, crime scene investigations and officer safety. Last week’s topic impacted me so much that I spent the drive home in tears.

The aforementioned topic was ASE, or Active Shooter Events. If that term is confusing, think Columbine, Virginia Tech or Fort Hood. Think of one or more person(s), armed with guns, attacking innocent groups of people, usually for revenge, fame or infamy, trying to rack up a high body count.

I’m sure I don’t need to explain to you that the topic itself is upsetting. While ASEs can be traced back to 1764 (really!), the increase in the last two decades is at the least alarming and at the most, terrifying. The presentation was Texas State University’s program to educate civilians about what ASEs are and how to deal with them if a person finds him/herself facing one. Local officers have delivered this presentation to all of the area school districts, some businesses, churches, military bases and hospitals. The local school district has incorporated “lockdown drills” along with the fire drills that have been routine for decades. I must admit, visualizing my teenage daughter going through a lockdown drill makes me sad and angry.

While I hate to give attention to negative things, hearing this presentation brought up a few issues in my mind. There was ONE slide in the PowerPoint that briefly addressed what someone may feel after going through a trauma like this. The officer that was teaching us started to gloss over the fact that many people develop PTSD and PTSD-like symptoms. Almost involuntarily, I shouted, “Getting help is not a sign of weakness! It’s a sign of strength!” Fortunately for me, the officer agreed and elaborated a bit more about the importance of getting professional help after going through an ASE.

The presentation also encouraged us to live life basically looking over our shoulders and preparing for worst-case scenarios every time we went into a public place. I don’t know about you, but I can’t live like that. That’s not even living, in my opinion. The presenting officer gave several examples from his own personal life that involved his wife and son, who have been encouraged to be constantly on alert for badness. How sad for them.

The bottom line is that sometimes people do horrific things. The reasons vary, but mental illness plays a large part in many of these tragic events. It’s up to us as people, citizens, parents, children, brothers, sisters, co-workers, neighbors and humans to not ignore others when they are showing signs of mental instability. It may feel like none of your business, but if this person ends up doing something horrible, will that excuse assuage your guilt? I’m calling everyone who reads this to action: let’s de-stigmatize mental illness and its treatment so that some tragedies can be prevented. I realize that this will not be a panacea for ASEs, but if even one crisis can be stopped before it has started, that will be a victory in my book.

[Original article may be found here]

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Guest blogger, October Tips, Tuesday Tips

I came across this blog post this morning and just had to share!

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself.

Happy Holidays!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in December Tips, Holiday Sanity

Happy-Holidays

To our faithful readers: we are in self-care mode as we enjoy the holidays with our families. Feel free to browse the archives for tips on how to make the holidays more pleasant for yourself and your family!

Diane and I wish you the happiest of holidays, whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus, Kwanzaa, the beautiful lights of Diwali or any other holiday that is special for you! May peace be in your home and may you put yourself first so that you may enjoy things, too!

Love – Stacey and Diane

Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in November Notes, November tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

We here at Living Self-Care would like to wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving! This year has been full of changes for us, and I think I can speak for Diane when I say we are very grateful for each and every one of them.

When things happen, they’re just things. We are responsible for what we label them (good or bad). It’s hard to imagine something like a cancer diagnosis being something GOOD, but I have also heard from several survivors and current cancer patients that their diagnosis and journey has ultimately changed them for the better.

It’s easy to be thankful for the obviously positive things in life, but most of the time, the negative (or what we label as “bad”) presents a learning opportunity. The trick is to be open minded and try to look at the situation outside of your usual way of thinking. There’s usually the proverbial “silver lining” to be found, and I truly believe there is no such thing as failure, only lessons.

This year, as challenging as the change has been, I am so thankful that my mother moved in with us. We don’t have to worry about each other long distance anymore. And though we bump heads often, I am so thankful that we are learning how to relate to each other again (in a much more healthy manner this time).

As you go about your Thanksgiving traditions, remember that there are so many things to be grateful for – even the things that you may have categorized as “awful.” Have a safe and happy one!!

All of our love,

Diane Sanford and Stacey Glaesmann

Candy Land

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in November Notes, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

So, it’s November first – the day after the kiddos have dressed up and gone into a sugar coma! Can you believe how quickly this year has gone by? As you’re going about your day and glancing over at the loot left over from last night, consider these tips on how not to overindulge:

  • Divide the candy and treats into “portion sizes” and put each portion in a Ziploc baggie (a reasonable portion is 2 – 3 “fun size” candy bars)
  • Eat fruit instead of candy when your sweet tooth comes a-calling
  • Give yourself permission to eat a portion of candy on certain days (for example, “I may have my portion on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday.”)
  • If you pig out, don’t thrash yourself. We’re all human and most of us love chocolate! After all, it boosts serotonin and releases endorphins, which elevate mood!
  • Use these same tips with your kids – moderation is the key to preventing tummy aches and you’ll be teaching them the importance of a healthy, balanced diet.

Days like Halloween, Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas/Hanukkah are usually filled with all kinds of sweet treats. Having a plan in place before you face the table full of desserts will help you stay on track with your healthy diet. After all, physical health is one of the basics of self-care!

Instant BFFs: Is it Possible?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in October Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Have you ever encountered someone that you’ve never met before, but it seems like you’ve known them forever? Someone that you knew within the first 5 minutes of talking to him/her that you want to be in his/her life (in friendship or romantic relationship)? If you have, you know how rare that is. If you haven’t, let me tell you about it!

Recently, I was on a writing assignment and went to interview my source for the story. The interview went very well and we were both professional. After the “official” work was over, this young lady and I sat around talking about this and that; it was surface chit-chat, but I felt as if I could tell her my deepest secrets – and I had only just met her!

It turns out that she had experienced the same phenomenon with me, and we found ourselves contacting each other to find ways to hang out. She’s a volunteer with a local animal charity, so I signed up too. I have made time to help out on 2 occasions so far, and while I enjoy working with the animals and people, it is nice to have extra time with my new friend!

If one of us is not feeling well, the other will offer (and mean it) to cook chicken soup or go to the store for remedies. If one of us is having a crisis, we instinctively contact each other. Keep in mind that I have known this woman for less than a month.

Somehow, I just know that I can trust her and that I can count on her. I also know that I feel a deep loyalty to her and will make myself available whenever I am able when she needs something. How can someone I just met feel like a best friend? How can such a short relationship feel like it’s taken years to build and cultivate?

I firmly believe that people are put in our lives for a reason: to teach us lessons, to see us through a crisis or victory, to be there when we need them. My “new” friend and I joke that we are long-lost sisters, but I know without a doubt that she is supposed to be in my life and I am grateful to have found her!

A New Look at Exercise

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Guest blogger, Monday Musings, October Tips

I was shopping recently at a big box outlet, and they had already placed Christmas merchandise on sale. I could hear good ‘ol Charlie Brown saying,”Good grief!”

The reality is, Christmas and New Year’s are right around the corner. Soon we’ll be flooded with commercials about New Year’s Resolutions, including our need to exercise.

Why can’t we keep our exercise resolutions? Excessive office hours? Overbooked family schedules? Regardless of the reason, let me share with you the exercise framework I’ve used to manage my low- back pain for the last 20 years. Hopefully you can tailor it for yourself.

First, create achievable goals. Start small. If you can only go for a brisk walk for 20 minutes for 3 days a week, start there. It’s better to create achievable goals, and celebrate your accomplishments. Expand your exercise program later.

Next, choose exercise that’s fun. If you hate distance running, don’t do it. Be creative; try new forms of exercise. If you try something new and don’t like it, don’t get discouraged – move on. The key here is to have fun and remain active..regularly.

Ok, so you’ve set achievable goals for fun, regularly scheduled exercise. Anything else? One last suggestion: you need the right motivation. You’re probably asking, “What does that mean?”

I define the right motivation as “a goal beyond one’s own self with accountability.” For me, my motivation is coaching my sons’ soccer teams. Seems basic enough, right? So how can this be a right motivation? First, this is quality time I spend with my sons. Second, coaching soccer requires me to keep my lower back healthy so I can demonstrate the game. So I have a motivation that is beyond one’s own self (my sons’ happiness) and has accountability, requiring me to keep my lower back healthy. This is the right motivation I need to help me exercise when I’ve had a long day and would rather relax in front of the TV.

I hope this helps. By the way, why wait for the New Year? Get exercising…right now!

Today’s guest blogger is Christian Miles, CPT, CPA, MBA. He is the President of the Global Exercise Group – an Internet based exercise education company focused on helping individuals suffering from lower-back pain by using a holistic approach. He can be reached at any of the following:

Website: www.globalexercisegroup.com
Email: info@globalexercisegroup.com
Twitter: @globalexercise

What Is Happiness – Really?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in October Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

A friend recently directed me to a website called The Happiness Project. Basically, it chronicles a woman’s quest to find happiness in several areas of her life. She is very insightful and has some great ideas!

Happiness is something everyone aspires to, but have you given any thought to what happiness means to YOU? 99% of my clients list “to be happy” as one of their goals for therapy. When I ask them what “happy” means, I usually get confused or blank looks.

Happy means feeling happy, right? Well, do you think it’s possible to feel happy 100% of the time? Even the spiritually enlightened, such as Eckhart Tolle in modern days, and Buddha in times past, acknowledge that all feelings are fleeting – even happiness. So if it is not possible to feel happy all the time, how does one achieve the goal of “to be happy?”

I usually ask my clients to think of a time when they felt really happy, joyous even. I ask how long that feeling lasted. I have gotten answers anywhere from “a few minutes” to “a couple of weeks,” but no one has even said that the feeling was permanent. As I ask them to dissect that memory and feeling, setting the actual joy aside, most people come to the conclusion that inner peace and/or contentment is what lingered the longest.

The grand question is, “How do I get inner peace?” I wish I had a single answer that would work for everyone or have access to a magic pill. Since I don’t, let me tell you what I have learned from my clients and my own experiences. First, realize how little control you really have over your life. The only thing you have the ability to control is your own behavior. You can’t control other people, circumstances or events. So, if you are unhappy in some area of your life, either change your own behavior or work on accepting the fact that it is what it is and you can’t change it. Once you get a firm grasp of this concept, techniques such as meditation, yoga, aerobic exercise and mindfulness will be helpful in acquiring the inner peace you seek. Once you stop trying to control everything, you’ll free up some inner resources that can help lighten your emotional load.