Tag: new moms

Let the Challenge Begin-Express Gratitude Daily

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Welcome to Day 1 of the self-care challenge/contest. We’re glad you’re here. Our theme for the week will be expressing gratitude and thankfulness for all the aspects of our lives which enrich and nourish us.

To get started, choose a coin or personal item which will be your gratitude token for the week. Place it on your bedroom dresser or nightstand and when you wake up in the morning, think of 3 things you are grateful for and then place your token in your pocket or purse to carry with you. In the evening before you go to bed, think of 3 different things you are grateful for and then place your token back on your nightstand/dresser. Do this daily, expanding your list to include as many sources of thankfulness as you can.

If you’d prefer an online version of this activity, go to twitter and each morning list 3 things you’re thankful for and again in the evening with the hashtag #listof3 or on our Facebook page www.facebook.com/livingselfcare.
Sometimes, it helps to see what others are saying especially on the days when
your emotional pitcher is empty. It doesn’t have to be original for it to be meaningful and seeing others’ gratitude may help lift your spirit.

Tonight at 8:30pm EST join us on #ppdchat for “Self-Care, Gratitude, and Easing Holiday Stress.” Also, listen to our podcast about “Living the Self-Care Challenge” at http://ow.ly/7hkKZ  with @mamasonbedrest. Let’s have a great week supporting each other in living self-care. Our holiday gift to you!

One Hero’s Journey-Part 2

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

When I became a mother, I hadn’t felt more alone and isolated in my entire life. It floored me. I had postpartum depression and anxiety but didn’t know it. I was on maternity leave, recovering slowly and painfully from a C-section. Add to that the approaching brutal Northeast winter, and isolation was unavoidable.

After the longest, hardest winter, literally and metaphorically, I found Postpartum Progress and Living Self-Care. Then I discovered #ppdchat on Twitter. I started reading blogs written by women like me, only they weren’t afraid to share their stories and I was. I didn’t know I would soon be blogging myself and how much that would influence my recovery and change my life.

Reading about PPD from those women’s viewpoints corrected the course of my PPD journey.  Each day, the isolation and loneliness melted away and I headed in a new, better direction. I found solace in those voices, belonging to women I didn’t know but to whom I felt so connected. Those women described the same things I’d been feeling—things I thought were happening to only me.

From the bottom of my heart, if you’re blogging about your perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, thank you. If you’re sharing it with your family, friends, neighbors, doctors, thank you. If you’re reading this blog, thank you. It might not seem like much but sharing your story changes lives. You’re creating awareness. You’re creating a village where women can find refuge.

Today’s author is Jamie Harker. Follow her at www.jamesandjax.com.

Beat Holiday Stress-Join the Challenge!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Press Release

Before holiday stress overwhelms you, join our online self-care contest/challenge Nov.14-18. But wait you say, that’s still a week away. To begin flexing your self-care muscle, we’re offering tips starting today on how to replace holiday stress with inner peace and happiness. Follow us at www.twitter.com/realmomexperts  and www.facebook.com/livingselfcare for stress-busting advice.

Likewise our self-care challenge champions have pitched in to get this party started. Take a listen http://ow.ly/7hkKZ to @mamasonbedrest interview with me about livingselfcare. Visit www.pregnancy.org for their new look and updated info on motherhood and health. Visit www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com for support on “putting mommy guilt in its place.” Who couldn’t use some of that?

For moms struggling with postpartum emotional health challenges, we’ve got you covered too! Check out Postpartum Support International’s extensive website http://www.postpartum.net. Visit Katherine Stone’s amazing www.postpartumprogress.org and sign up for Daily Hope to lift your spirits. Listen to #ppdchat Mondays at 1pm EST and 8:30pm EST with Lauren Hale of mypostpartumvoice. You’ll be glad you did.

Here’s the contest part for this week. Visit any of the sites mentioned above, leave us a comment at www.livingselfcare.com and you’ll be entered in a drawing for a self-care treat. Nov.14-18 each self-care challenge champion will contribute a prize to a random drawing the end of the week. More info on that later.

So, flex your self-care muscle and get on board. Spread the news about the challenge to other women you know and love to help them feel better and beat holiday stress. Start today!

One Hero’s Journey-Part 1

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Recently, I wrote about having attended the Southern New Jersey Perinatal Cooperative’s conference on perinatal mood disorders. A few weeks later, I am still carrying in my heart everything I felt that day, which ranged from nervous anticipation to love, respect, encouragement, and support.

I drove to the conference in the pouring rain, excited to be in the same room with Katherine Stone, Diane Sanford, and my therapist, Michelle. Those three women helped me so much when I had postpartum depression and anxiety for nearly 2 years. I credit Katherine and Diane with giving me the courage and strength to seek help in the first place, and I credit Michelle with providing me the exact compassionate care I needed but almost didn’t reach out for.

But you know who else I credit? All of the women I’ve come to know online who are creating with me a village just by opening up and talking about what we’ve gone through (or are still going through). This journey isn’t easy, and if you’re reading this, you surely know that already. It is long and grueling and, at first, so very lonely. But you aren’t alone. You have a village. You just need directions to it. And websites like this one provide a map.

Today’s guest author is Jamie of www.jamesandjax.com. One of the true heroes who’s building a village of support for PPD moms through her courage and honesty.

For info about PPD, listen to the Sept.9 podcast @mamasonbedrest with Diane Sanford.

Part 2:

Self-care Can Be a Ghoulish Good Time!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

I’m not sure how many of you will read this today between finishing Halloween costumes, classroom parties, and trick-or-treating. Self-care may be limited to gobbling up candy from your child’s goodie bag. At least, that’s what I used to do.

It’s another reason we’ve designated Tuesday, Nov.1 as the start of self-care month, a chance for you to nourish yourself body-mind-heart and spirit. For this first week, reflect on what you do currently for self-care whether it’s healthy eating, exercise, prayer/meditation or visiting with friends. Notice how much time you devote to self-care and how you feel when you do.

What does your body feel like? What kind of thoughts do you have? How positive or negative are they? What thoughts and feelings do you have about yourself? How do you relate to others? How connected do you feel to your spirit/soul?

Then notice how you feel when you doggedly pursue your “to-do list” without stopping to refill your emotional pitcher. As we say in “Life Will Never Be the Same,” no woman is a bottomless pitcher and you can’t feel good when your pitcher is dry. It won’t happen no matter how hard you try.

Finally, notice the differences when you do and don’t practice self-care. Don’t make any changes, just be aware. If you have a journal, write them down.

Now, your incentive. If you go to www.facebook.com/livingselfcare and enter a comment on this week’s assignment, you’ll be entered in a random drawing for Godiva chocolates. Happy Halloween!

What’s Missing?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

You’re making an effort to take better care of yourself. Say you’re having a good week: you’ve exercised, eaten nutritious meals, and maybe even had a spa day. Great job!

Is something still…missing? We forget that we are by nature, spiritual beings. We are a spirit (that essence of life and divinity that makes us who we are) in a body (flesh & bones) possessing a soul (mind, will, emotions). However, we often forget this .

So how do we activate and nurture our spirituality? Motherhood is one tough job – no doubt about it. Sometimes our faith is the only thing that will get us through. Here are some easy ways to integrate spirituality in our daily lives:

• Prayer & meditation- we can speak or write them in a journal. It doesn’t have to be fancy. We can pray silently when brushing our teeth, driving, or even changing a diaper. Many chores don’t require a great deal of concentration. This is an excellent time to contemplate and recite prayers/reflections that apply to our challenges.
• Reading- spending a few moments in the morning or before bedtime reading inspirational material from the Bible and other sources can bring much needed guidance and peace to our lives.
• Spiritual retreats & worship services- others can teach us, inspire us, and give us greater perspective.

Keeping it simple can ensure an active and productive spiritual life. Mommie Kate offers tips and encouragement for busy moms at Practical Faith For Everyday Life.

Get Back to “Basics” Today

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

A client called me yesterday to reschedule her appointment. As we wished
each other well before hanging up, she mentioned she was about to eat
lunch. The clock read 2:30 PM. She begins her work shift at 8:00 AM and finishes at 5:00 PM. She hadn’t taken the time to eat because she of her “busy day.”

How many of us ignore the very basic needs of Self-Care? Eating at least 3 meals
a day is just one of them. What about refusing to take a break to use the restroom
until it is such an urgent matter that we can’t ignore it? Taking a few minutes to relax with a cup of our favorite beverage to rest and renew?

One of the things mainstream society tells us is that productivity is good; idleness is bad…or worse – LAZY! Have we bought that belief so solidly we ignore our bodies’ very basic needs? Take notice– you may do this and
not even realize it. I know I was!

If this is a chronic problem for you, try scheduling your meals into your daily
calendar like you would a meeting. Don’t wait longer than a few minutes
ignoring nature’s call – get to a stopping point and go take care of your Self.

While self-care focuses on the soul, we can’t survive without healthy bodies!

Stacey Glaesmann, LPC is a counselor in private practice near Houston, TX. Her book, “What About Me? A Simple Guide to Self-Care in the 21st Century” is available at www.pearlandtherapy.com.

The Magic of Fall: Persephone’s Journey

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

I was introduced to Persephone’s story a few years ago at a women’s retreat.  In Roman mythology, Persephone is the daughter of Demeter, Mother Earth, who leaves “the world above” to become Queen of the Underworld. While some versions say she was abducted by Hades and taken against her will, I prefer to believe that she left because she had outgrown living as a child in her mother’s garden and wanted to fulfill her unique destiny.

Have you ever felt a “calling” to step outside your familiar life and journey into the unknown, imagining that what lies ahead will help you become more fully who you are intended to be? Have you ever felt “shackled” by what others expect from you like Persephone who longed to be more than her mother’s daughter, conforming to her expectations? When the fall air tugs at your cheek and the trees shed their leaves, can you feel their sense of freedom and possibility, beckoning you to let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore?

This is the magic of fall. The time to release old beliefs and habits, and to sow the seeds of what we do want in our life so that when spring comes, we will be ready. Now, enjoy Mary Oliver’s “The Journey” which inspires us to pursue the life which is waiting for us like Persephone chose to do. You can do it too!

Free Yourself From Imprisoning Thoughts

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Reading is a means of thinking with another person’s mind; it forces you to stretch your own.
~Charles Scribner,Jr.

Lately I’ve been listening to life coach Martha Beck’s book Steering By Starlight. In it, she discusses how to dismantle the “thought dungeons” we create.

The idea of changing our thoughts to change our feelings originated in cognitive therapy by Aaron Beck (no relation to Martha) and Albert Ellis. One of the first books on this, Feeling Good, painstakingly described common cognitive distortions like “all or nothing” thinking, my favorite, “catastrophizing,” aka “living in the wreckage of the future,” and how we can neutralize/”refute them.”

Martha Beck’s book is much more fun than this with her keen wit and uncanny sense of how people get themselves stuck in “thought dungeons” of their own making and how to get out. For example, moms/parents who devote themselves to their children, totally neglecting their own needs. Sound familiar?

Here’s what she says to make the point, as we often do, that doing this is not necessarily best for you or your child. “The reason they tells parents to put their oxygen masks on first is because a conscious parent can save an unconscious child, but a conscious child cannot save an unconscious parent.”

What are you doing for self-care? If not, what thoughts are keeping you stuck? As last Thursday’s post suggested, ” Perhaps our arms will be more willing to hug and take care of others after we take care of ourselves.”

Changing Seasons-Changing Attitudes

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Fall is here, and that signals a time of introspection and self-analysis. Fall also symbolizes the time where we feel obligated (guilt involved or not) to redirect, “pay it forward,” and learn how to do “nothing.” Learn how to do nothing? Did she really just say that? That’s impossible! Not really, it just takes a few attempts before you get good at it.

Living self-care is more than lip service. I’m guilty of saying that I’ll do “xyz” for myself, and then, it magically doesn’t happen. Well it doesn’t happen because I don’t allow it to happen. How do we take care of ourselves without it feeling like a chore? The answer is as simple as mindset. In my opinion, it comes down to how we perceive, feel, and think about ourselves, and how we view ourselves in the big picture.

The self-care revolution is coming – we all feel it – it’s just a matter of when. Are you willing to take up “arms” and join us? Perhaps those arms will be more willing to hug and take care of others after we take care of ourselves. If you think about it, we can’t help anyone until we help ourselves.

Today’s guest author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves, feel safe and get advice on how to take care of, pamper, and check-in with themselves. These tools help them conquer their challenges and overcome obstacles to self-care.