Tag: parenting

Let’s Make 2012 a Great Year!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

As many of you may know, 2012 is supposed to be a year of great change. According to the Mayan calendar, it will be a time when institutions/habits which are not serving us dissolve and new ones emerge. Like a caterpillar that dissolves to become a butterfly, something entirely new will be emerge in its place.

It is an opportunity for each of us to tap into the energy of transcendence-to discover our full selves, healthy and whole. But, how? Often we get so stuck in the familiar that whether it’s best for us or not, we stop ourselves from exploring the new and unknown. We are frightened to lose the security of the the status quo in hopes of preventing bad things from happening.

But, this is a myth. The only constant is that life changes. So, let’s be bold, dream big and live large. Let’s allow old fear-based habits to dissolve and embrace the opportunity each day brings to discover all we were meant to be.

At livingselfcare, we’ll be changing too. Stacey Glaesman, LPC will be joining me to provide her insights on self-care, health and happiness. We’ll present more resources and recommendations to help you on your self-care journey, and as always, we welcome your guest posts, comments and suggestions.

Let’s make 2012 our best year ever! Let us know what you’d like to talk about. This is your community. Let us hear from you.

Give Yourself to Love, Light and Laughter

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

In 1982, Kate Wolf wrote “Give Yourself To Love.” The lyrics go as follows: “Give yourself to love if love is what you’re after; Open up your heart to the tears and laughter; And give yourself to love, give yourself to love.” While it’s a short song, her point isn’t missed on us. The song is about conquering our fear of intimacy and opening our hearts.

With New Years here, we rush to get out our proverbial paper and pen (or computer/tablet) and create grand lists of resolutions to conquer our challenges. From weight loss and eating healthy to getting more sleep, our good intentions often fail because we try to do too much.

What if our tasks and resolutions were as simple as “I’ll laugh or smile more,” or  take five minutes for ‘me-time’ every day? Wouldn’t these seem more practical, meaningful and important to incorporate and stick to than “I resolve to run a marathon or climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.” While a marathon or a mountain climb would be a great feat, does it really count more than the simple act of smiling at ourselves and our loved ones on a daily basis?

From our family to yours, we wish you and yours a tremendous 2012. Create the steps that carry you to fulfilling all your self-care goals!

Today’s author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves, conquer their challenges and overcome obstacles to self-care.

Recharge Your Battery to Welcome the New Year

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

For a healthy and happy new year, you need to have the energy to enjoy it. Our self-care tip this post-holiday weekend is to rest and recharge your battery.  Don’t put pressure on yourself for playdates, taking the children out or visiting friends and family unless that’s easier for you.  Resist preparing  gourmet meals, downloading holiday pictures or catching up on errands.  You have the entire  year ahead.

What to do instead?  Rest.  Restore.  Recharge.  No child has ever died from a diet of hot dogs and macaroni.  In fact, many of them prefer it.  They will gladly wear the same clothes and don’t care if their rooms are a mess.  Also, let them entertain themselves.  What about the new toys they took seconds to unwrap?  They can play with them!

The holidays are a particularly challenging time to balance our needs with those of others. But we must persist if we are to greet the new year with a healthy and positive outlook.

As we always say, you need to keep your pitcher filled to take care of yourself and those you love.  Don’t run yourself ragged like little Spudgy and miss out on the fun.  Give yourself a break this weekend.  You deserve it.   And get some sleep.

Holiday Survival in the Suburbs-Part 2

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Look for what worked before: remember what everyone liked and repeat it. For many years, we had our tradition of the Wednesday- before-Thanksgiving-cookie-day. After a lazy morning, we saw a movie, baked our favorite chocolate chip cookies and finished the day with cheeseburgers.

People love helping in the kitchen. I never have everything completely finished. People congregate in the kitchen anyway- give them purpose while visiting. Everyone loves doing something-especially if it’s not their house or their responsibility.

Find what works for you when/if you get stressed. When I do get stressed, I take big breaths and concentrate on the outcome I want. (I also eat chocolate and take a walk). Whatever healthy strategy you can find-exercise, gatherings with girlfriends, reading a book, a massage- make sure you take advantage and DO IT.

Focus on the positive. It makes me happy to focus on the simple, enjoyable and memorable. “It’s all good” can be a way of life. Think about your own circumstances, realize how fortunate you are and do something nice for someone.

Life is too precious to be stressed out by circumstances we may not remember. I believe if I am less stressed, the kids will be also. I try to take care of my family by not planning too much and by being in the moment with them.

Pam Wilson is the author of S.O.S From Suburbia, a humorous look at surviving the craziness of the suburbs which can be ordered on her website: www.sosfromsuburbia.vpweb.com

Self-Care Brings Holiday Cheer

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

With Hanukah tomorrow and 6 days until Christmas, holiday stress is peaking. So this week, we’re focusing on self-care basics to preserve health, happiness, and your remaining sanity. First, make time to eat; your body can’t run without fuel. Exercise once or twice by going to the gym, walking your dog, or riding your bike. Recharge your emotional engine by making time to savor what you enjoy-a  great cup of coffee, a manicure, or visiting a friend. Feed your spirit by walking in nature, positive affirmations, and giving to others.

Second, practice relaxation. Take breaks in the day. Stop running around at record speeds. The “perfect gift” doesn’t exist so stop and breathe. Close your eyes and spend 5 minutes, breathing in to the count of 3, holding for a couple seconds and then out to the count of 3. If a thought creeps in, let it go. Focus you attention on your heart spreading calm and warmth through your body. Repeat 2-3 times a day. Studies show that relaxation boosts immunity, lessens pain and improves mood.

Finally, spend your time wisely. Choose one activity which makes the holidays special for you and Do It! Maybe baking or caroling or watching a holiday DVD. Don’t let your “to do” list consume you. Prioritize what has to get done, and cut out what you can. Stop and think “Will doing this make me feel good” or tired and stressed. The better you feel, the more you’ll enjoy the holidays and so will those around you.

Holiday Survival in the Suburbs-Part 1

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I love holiday traditions and making things fun and bright. I don’t love stress though or being overwhelmed. Hmm…you may wonder, how does that work?

As I thought about this year’s holiday madness, I wanted to list the things that help me stay calm when I get stressed (and I do!) If there’s so much stress involved, is it any fun….and more to the point worth it?!

First, remember people would rather be invited to a messy house with delivery pizza than not invited. Recently my friend Mimi called at the last minute, “Having people over, want to come?” Four families showed up for a pot-luck supper while we watched the Cardinals win game seven. Yes!

 Second, have the attitude,  “Let’s make this a party!”

Then combine friends, good food (a recipe I’ve been wanting to try), a party attitude and…the space to play. For kids that means either outside or in a basement. I can’t remember a time when the kids have been unhappy with this.

Being spontaneous can also work in your favor. Recently we were at friends and the hostess said, “I just got these Midnight Special videos, do you want to watch?” We were skeptical, but said yes. It turned out to be one of the most entertaining evenings we’ve had singing along to favorites from the ‘70’s and ‘80’s and sharing stories about our lives then. Totally fun.

Today’s author Pam Wilson is author of S.O.S From Suburbia. For more info visit www.sosfromsuburbia.vpweb.com.

Make Self-Care Your Holiday Gift

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

This past week I went to Hilton Head, SC for a conference on the psychology of health, immunity and disease, or how our emotions and thoughts affect our biology. I loved it and got to attend with one of my best friends which made it most enjoyable. Even so a week beforehand, I started to panic. How could I abandon my clients during the holidays? How could I be so insensitive and selfish? What was I thinking when I made my plans in August? Clearly, I wasn’t.

However, when my plane left St.Louis last Wednesday, I felt happy and peaceful with my Starbucks in one hand and Real Simple in the other. My guilt pangs lessened. In fact, my joy and contentment heightened as my journey progressed. I wasn’t dwelling on the responsibilities I’d left behind or the distressed calls which might greet me when I returned. I was giving myself a self-care holiday and it felt great!

I even chose to stay an extra night so I wouldn’t have to rush home just as the conference ended. Instead, I walked on the beach, visited the bookstore, got the best facial ever, and watched a movie in my room while sitting on my bed eating tuna salad followed by white chocolate bread pudding. Truly, heaven on earth.

Now, whatever happens, I’m ready-refueled and restored. Except maybe for a little more dessert.

What are your self-care plans this week? As we say, self-care isn’t selfish it’s self-preserving and it feels great!

Read This for Holiday Stress Relief

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

The holidays are here with fun-filled and stress-filled times sandwiched together, not unlike raising children, work, marriage and other life pursuits. So, here are some recommendations to make the holidays calmer and happier.

First, have realistic expectations of yourself.  Many of us feel disappointed because our “fairytale images” don’t materialize. Instead, focus on feeling good from the inside out.  Build a fire and roast marshmallows, shop with a friend, or take a long walk in the woods.  Meditate, workout, read, or  listen to music.  Feed your soul.

Second, have realistic expectations of others.  No one’s family or friends are perfect, and the holidays won’t change this.  Since we can’t change them, we need to rely on ourselves to gather what’s positive and let go of the negative.  Create new family traditions so they don’t stir up bad memories.  If a situation becomes too negative, leave.

Likewise, don’t take relationship stress too personally.   If your partner snaps about household clutter because they’re stringing Christmas lights while baking cookies, understand it’s their problem.  Don’t let them take their bad mood out on you but don’t react poorly either.  After all, love is the true intention of the season and it starts with you.

Finally, if you need a gift for a pregnant or new mom,  preview our new book, Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide at http://www.realmomexperts.com.  It’s filled with great advice for surviving and thriving new motherhood and beyond.  You might enjoy it too!

It’s Cyber Monday-See If You’ve Won

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Press Release

True to our mission here at livingselfcare, Lauren and I took last week off to recharge and enjoy the holiday. Since today is Cyber Monday, we thought it would be fitting to announce the winners of our Nov.14-18 2011 Self-Care Challenge Contest.

Here they are:

dianne@femininefaceofmoney.com – $100 SpaWish certificate from Pregnancy.org

http://outoftheclearblue.wordpress.com – $25 Shutterfly Gift Certificate via Working Moms Against Guilt

melody.meiners@gmail.com – $25 Maternique Gift Certifiicate from Darline Turner-Lee of Mamas on Bedrest

starfish810@hotmail.com – Happy Family clothing & PSI Educational DVD via Postpartum Support International

felicia3@gmail.com– A copy of A Life’s Work by Rachel Cusk via Postpartum Progress

lisa07110@yahoo.com – Jewelry set via Mother to Mother Support

simply.homemade@yahoo.com– Deluxe Prize Basket from Real Mom Experts

Congratulations to all our winners! You’ll be contacted via email with additional details regarding how to claim your prizes.

Thank you again to all the wonderful Challenge Champions. We couldn’t have done it without you! Also, to all of you who participated in our weeklong self-care challenge. If you missed out, you can still go back to the posts and participate in the daily gratitude activities. Thankfulness is always timely and a great way to practice self-care.

Give Thanks Everyday

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

There have been certain times in my life that were more challenging than others. Challenges not only make you stronger, but they force you to get out of your normal and comfortable routine. Without challenges in our lives there is no room for growth or opportunity for gratitude.

My experience with postpartum depression was negative and frightening, but I am thankful that it created the stronger, better, mom and person I am now. I am thankful that my experience led me to help other moms struggling with the same feelings and let them know that they are not alone. I am thankful to have met so many wonderful people on my life’s journey.

Think about people you have met in your lifetime, the influence that each and every one of them has had on your life. Let someone know that you appreciate them. Thank someone for their time or kind gesture. Think about things you are you thankful for: a pet, flowers in your garden, the opportunity to travel. Giving thanks is a powerful positive message that can become part of your daily routine and improve your life. I didn’t learn to give thanks; it was something I created within myself. There are many benefits to giving thanks. Express gratitude today and always.

Linda Meyer is the Executive Director of Mother to Mother in St. Louis, MO. Mother to Mother provides free telephone support, group support and resources to women experiencing emotional difficulties during pregnancy and postpartum. www.mothertomothersupport.org