Tag: building new habits

Let’s Make 2012 a Great Year!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

As many of you may know, 2012 is supposed to be a year of great change. According to the Mayan calendar, it will be a time when institutions/habits which are not serving us dissolve and new ones emerge. Like a caterpillar that dissolves to become a butterfly, something entirely new will be emerge in its place.

It is an opportunity for each of us to tap into the energy of transcendence-to discover our full selves, healthy and whole. But, how? Often we get so stuck in the familiar that whether it’s best for us or not, we stop ourselves from exploring the new and unknown. We are frightened to lose the security of the the status quo in hopes of preventing bad things from happening.

But, this is a myth. The only constant is that life changes. So, let’s be bold, dream big and live large. Let’s allow old fear-based habits to dissolve and embrace the opportunity each day brings to discover all we were meant to be.

At livingselfcare, we’ll be changing too. Stacey Glaesman, LPC will be joining me to provide her insights on self-care, health and happiness. We’ll present more resources and recommendations to help you on your self-care journey, and as always, we welcome your guest posts, comments and suggestions.

Let’s make 2012 our best year ever! Let us know what you’d like to talk about. This is your community. Let us hear from you.

Give Yourself to Love, Light and Laughter

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

In 1982, Kate Wolf wrote “Give Yourself To Love.” The lyrics go as follows: “Give yourself to love if love is what you’re after; Open up your heart to the tears and laughter; And give yourself to love, give yourself to love.” While it’s a short song, her point isn’t missed on us. The song is about conquering our fear of intimacy and opening our hearts.

With New Years here, we rush to get out our proverbial paper and pen (or computer/tablet) and create grand lists of resolutions to conquer our challenges. From weight loss and eating healthy to getting more sleep, our good intentions often fail because we try to do too much.

What if our tasks and resolutions were as simple as “I’ll laugh or smile more,” or  take five minutes for ‘me-time’ every day? Wouldn’t these seem more practical, meaningful and important to incorporate and stick to than “I resolve to run a marathon or climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.” While a marathon or a mountain climb would be a great feat, does it really count more than the simple act of smiling at ourselves and our loved ones on a daily basis?

From our family to yours, we wish you and yours a tremendous 2012. Create the steps that carry you to fulfilling all your self-care goals!

Today’s author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves, conquer their challenges and overcome obstacles to self-care.

Get Back to “Basics” Today

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

A client called me yesterday to reschedule her appointment. As we wished
each other well before hanging up, she mentioned she was about to eat
lunch. The clock read 2:30 PM. She begins her work shift at 8:00 AM and finishes at 5:00 PM. She hadn’t taken the time to eat because she of her “busy day.”

How many of us ignore the very basic needs of Self-Care? Eating at least 3 meals
a day is just one of them. What about refusing to take a break to use the restroom
until it is such an urgent matter that we can’t ignore it? Taking a few minutes to relax with a cup of our favorite beverage to rest and renew?

One of the things mainstream society tells us is that productivity is good; idleness is bad…or worse – LAZY! Have we bought that belief so solidly we ignore our bodies’ very basic needs? Take notice– you may do this and
not even realize it. I know I was!

If this is a chronic problem for you, try scheduling your meals into your daily
calendar like you would a meeting. Don’t wait longer than a few minutes
ignoring nature’s call – get to a stopping point and go take care of your Self.

While self-care focuses on the soul, we can’t survive without healthy bodies!

Stacey Glaesmann, LPC is a counselor in private practice near Houston, TX. Her book, “What About Me? A Simple Guide to Self-Care in the 21st Century” is available at www.pearlandtherapy.com.

The Magic of Fall: Persephone’s Journey

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

I was introduced to Persephone’s story a few years ago at a women’s retreat.  In Roman mythology, Persephone is the daughter of Demeter, Mother Earth, who leaves “the world above” to become Queen of the Underworld. While some versions say she was abducted by Hades and taken against her will, I prefer to believe that she left because she had outgrown living as a child in her mother’s garden and wanted to fulfill her unique destiny.

Have you ever felt a “calling” to step outside your familiar life and journey into the unknown, imagining that what lies ahead will help you become more fully who you are intended to be? Have you ever felt “shackled” by what others expect from you like Persephone who longed to be more than her mother’s daughter, conforming to her expectations? When the fall air tugs at your cheek and the trees shed their leaves, can you feel their sense of freedom and possibility, beckoning you to let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore?

This is the magic of fall. The time to release old beliefs and habits, and to sow the seeds of what we do want in our life so that when spring comes, we will be ready. Now, enjoy Mary Oliver’s “The Journey” which inspires us to pursue the life which is waiting for us like Persephone chose to do. You can do it too!

Changing Seasons-Changing Attitudes

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Fall is here, and that signals a time of introspection and self-analysis. Fall also symbolizes the time where we feel obligated (guilt involved or not) to redirect, “pay it forward,” and learn how to do “nothing.” Learn how to do nothing? Did she really just say that? That’s impossible! Not really, it just takes a few attempts before you get good at it.

Living self-care is more than lip service. I’m guilty of saying that I’ll do “xyz” for myself, and then, it magically doesn’t happen. Well it doesn’t happen because I don’t allow it to happen. How do we take care of ourselves without it feeling like a chore? The answer is as simple as mindset. In my opinion, it comes down to how we perceive, feel, and think about ourselves, and how we view ourselves in the big picture.

The self-care revolution is coming – we all feel it – it’s just a matter of when. Are you willing to take up “arms” and join us? Perhaps those arms will be more willing to hug and take care of others after we take care of ourselves. If you think about it, we can’t help anyone until we help ourselves.

Today’s guest author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves, feel safe and get advice on how to take care of, pamper, and check-in with themselves. These tools help them conquer their challenges and overcome obstacles to self-care.

Fall’s Here! Time to Reflect and Reconnect

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Back in the day before electricity lit our lives up year round, fall’s longer nights and cooler weather prompted us to move indoors and spend less time engaged in the hubbub of daily life. It was a time of rest and restoration. Harvest was ending and families huddled together preparing for winter’s onset.

Today we’re often too busy to even notice the leaves turning but we can change this. This week, take 15 minutes to go outside in the morning to smell the fall air. Notice the the trees, their leaves, and how effortlessly they let go. If you live in the city, pay attention to how outdoors feels different than last month. Stop to reflect on nature slowing down.

Then choose another day to write down what you’d like to let go of. Put each on a  slip of paper. Maybe it’s guilt over a mistake or pushing yourself too hard. Just write whatever comes up without judging or censoring. At the end of the week, take all you’ve written and burn them one by one, releasing them from your soul. Fall is an excellent time to release the old to make way for the new.

You can also do this with your family/friends. Give each person slips of paper to note what they’re ready to discard and burn them together. Reflect and reconnect with yourself and others, creating space for what you do want to enter your life like the trees shedding their leaves for new growth.

School is Now in Session!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

As a mom of two teenagers and a toddler, organization and routine is important to decrease stress and maintain a healthy balance in my home.

Below are some ways
that I do this:

Schedule family time:  Allow your children to help plan a weekly family night.  An example is renting videos and watching them at home with favorite movie snacks to enjoy.  During family night, rules should be established, such as no texting or taking phone calls.

Choose chores:  Because everyone’s schedules are busier now, it is helpful to have a family meeting where everyone can decide which chores they will be responsible for.

Homework:  By providing your children a calendar and having one for yourself, both of you can jot down any special dates and scheduled tests.   Staying organized is the key to a successful school year!

Observe child’s behavior:   Be mindful of any changes in behavior, sleep, and eating behaviors.

Offer support and solutions:  Be your child’s strongest advocate.  Reach out to teacher s and counselors to help you and your child.

Listen:  Use car rides home and dinner time to talk with your child.

Real Mom Lisa

Today’s guest author is Lisa Salazar, MA, LMFT, LPC who is a licensed marriage and family therapist.  She has been married for 18 years and has 3 children.   Books in the Burbs is a blog that Lisa maintains to write book reviews.

Self-Care Contest Challenge Starts Oct.2: Fill ‘Er Up

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

In our book Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide about adjusting to life post-birth, we say “Self-care now is just as essential to being the best mother you can be as was taking vitamins, exercising, and getting prenatal care while you were pregnant.  To be a good mom, you must be good to yourself first, physically and emotionally.  To aim for a balance between yours and others’ needs. It’s best to tackle this issue now, because it’s one you’ll be facing for the rest of your life.”

Whether you’re a new mom or not, self-care is essential to health and well-being.  Again from our book, “A pitcher of water provides a clear demonstration of what we mean. Imagine that you are a pitcher of water.  You keep pouring out, giving and giving as you take care of the needs of those around you: baby, children, partner, family, friends and pets. If you do not take action to fill the pitcher up again, pretty soon it will be empty.  No one is a bottomless pitcher. What do you need in order to fill up the pitcher again?”

With the self-care challenge/contest only 2 weeks away, we want you to notice your current self-care practices and when you feel depleted or nourished.  Rabbi Hillel said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me.  If I am only for myself, what am I?  If not now, when?”  Need help? We’re only a comment away.

 

Empower Yourself to BE YOU!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I’m on vacation this week so I’m running Kelly’s guest post which reminds us to be true to who we are.

To be empowered is to say “YES! This is who I am” rather than letting others define you.   To find your inner voice and strength and use it to control your mind, your body, and your thoughts, staying true to yourself whatever life presents.

Being empowered is to reject helplessness. It is finding the courage to face what frightens you, and instead learn what you can from these experiences. By searching out these silver linings you are refusing to let the pain or fear rule you. Redefining life’s challenges by what you’ve gained.

When is the last time you used your “pause button” and MADE the choice to listen to yourself, to appreciate who you are, or to ask yourself “what do I want?” Remember that only you are the expert on you. You have the strength to create your life and to connect with your inner voice.

So try asking yourself:

  • What truly matters to me?
  • What are my priorities?
  • What are the values that I
    strive to live by?
  • When I wake up tomorrow what
    do I want to remember about today?

And now concentrate. Focus.
Breathe. Listen. And just BE YOU.

Today’s author Kelly Caul, MSW, LCSW is founder of EMPOWERED Therapy, LLC, whose mission is to empower you to BE YOU through individual and group therapy.  Kelly can be reached through her website at www.kellycaul.com.

3 Weeks Until Fall Self-Care Contest/Challenge: Let’s Get This Party Started

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Press Release

In the midwest where I live, there are definite signs that fall is upon us. Leaves are turning and days are growing shorter. Summer vacation is over, children are back in school and the air is buzzing with activity. Fall also signals impending holiday madness with too little time to get things done.

Which is why self-care is so important now and the reason we chose Mental Health Week (October 2-8) for our bi-annual self-care challenge/contest. We want to remind you to conserve some your energy now, like squirrels gathering acorns, to have enough for what’s ahead. Most of the tips in our contest/challenge take only 10-15 minutes but the resulting good feelings last much longer.

Last week, I spoke to Darline Turner of MamasOnBedrest about how moms/women can take better care of themselves whatever circumstances they find themselves in. Check out our podcast by clicking here. Darline is a champion for women’s health and said that she learned firsthand, like many of us, about the importance of self-care after becoming a mom.

Prior to the normal post-birth upheaval, her pregnancy journey was very stressful, which puts women even more at risk for postpartum issues. However, whether momss or not, women still have twice the depression men experience. For women,  self-care cannot be ignored.

Join us for our contest/challenge, 10/2-8. We’ll have more prizes, free downloads, and great advice. Meanwhile we still have Godiva Chocolates to give away. Find 5 friends to subscribe to our blog, livingselfcare, and you could be this week’s winner!