Tag: life balance

Self-Care Brings Holiday Cheer

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

With Hanukah tomorrow and 6 days until Christmas, holiday stress is peaking. So this week, we’re focusing on self-care basics to preserve health, happiness, and your remaining sanity. First, make time to eat; your body can’t run without fuel. Exercise once or twice by going to the gym, walking your dog, or riding your bike. Recharge your emotional engine by making time to savor what you enjoy-a  great cup of coffee, a manicure, or visiting a friend. Feed your spirit by walking in nature, positive affirmations, and giving to others.

Second, practice relaxation. Take breaks in the day. Stop running around at record speeds. The “perfect gift” doesn’t exist so stop and breathe. Close your eyes and spend 5 minutes, breathing in to the count of 3, holding for a couple seconds and then out to the count of 3. If a thought creeps in, let it go. Focus you attention on your heart spreading calm and warmth through your body. Repeat 2-3 times a day. Studies show that relaxation boosts immunity, lessens pain and improves mood.

Finally, spend your time wisely. Choose one activity which makes the holidays special for you and Do It! Maybe baking or caroling or watching a holiday DVD. Don’t let your “to do” list consume you. Prioritize what has to get done, and cut out what you can. Stop and think “Will doing this make me feel good” or tired and stressed. The better you feel, the more you’ll enjoy the holidays and so will those around you.

Make Self-Care Your Holiday Gift

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

This past week I went to Hilton Head, SC for a conference on the psychology of health, immunity and disease, or how our emotions and thoughts affect our biology. I loved it and got to attend with one of my best friends which made it most enjoyable. Even so a week beforehand, I started to panic. How could I abandon my clients during the holidays? How could I be so insensitive and selfish? What was I thinking when I made my plans in August? Clearly, I wasn’t.

However, when my plane left St.Louis last Wednesday, I felt happy and peaceful with my Starbucks in one hand and Real Simple in the other. My guilt pangs lessened. In fact, my joy and contentment heightened as my journey progressed. I wasn’t dwelling on the responsibilities I’d left behind or the distressed calls which might greet me when I returned. I was giving myself a self-care holiday and it felt great!

I even chose to stay an extra night so I wouldn’t have to rush home just as the conference ended. Instead, I walked on the beach, visited the bookstore, got the best facial ever, and watched a movie in my room while sitting on my bed eating tuna salad followed by white chocolate bread pudding. Truly, heaven on earth.

Now, whatever happens, I’m ready-refueled and restored. Except maybe for a little more dessert.

What are your self-care plans this week? As we say, self-care isn’t selfish it’s self-preserving and it feels great!

Make Time to Heal

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

“As I checked into the hospital in labor with my daughter this past March, a preemie who had just been born rolled past me.  His tiny body was hooked up to dozens of wires and he was closely followed by a team of concerned doctors.  A flood of overwhelming emotion poured over me and I felt like I was having a panic attack.  The panic stayed with me and I didn’t know why.

The morning we were going home with our new baby, I finally realized what triggered the panic.  Three years earlier in that same hospital I gave birth to my son Brendan under emergency circumstances.  Born 2 months premature, he had a rocky 6 week stay in the NICU and we came close to losing him.  Since then, I had been so completely involved in doctor’s appointments, therapy sessions and advocating for him in every possible way, I had completely forgotten myself.  With the exception of the day we almost lost him, I hadn’t shed a tear, had a conversation or done anything to recover emotionally.  Between giving birth and seeing the preemie wheeled to the NICU, my body couldn’t hold it in anymore.

I spent the next few hours speaking to different doctors, including the neonatologist who saved Brendan’s life.  I sobbed, laughed and just let it all out.  The cloud of panic lifted and I felt ready to bring my beautiful baby girl home.  From that moment, I understood the importance of self-care.  I returned to the gym, reconnected with my husband and built a support group of moms with similar experiences.  As mothers, we are the greatest caregivers in the world, yet we often don’t take care of ourselves until life forces us to.

Today’s guest author is Liza of www.sagespoonfuls.com, providing ideas, info and inspiration about making the healthiest babyfood possible.

It Takes a Village. Spread the Word!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Last week I spoke in New Jersey about the importance of self-care during pregnancy and post-birth, but my conference highlight was visiting with three moms who’ve survived postpartum depression/anxiety/OCD who are trained to support other women going through it. There was a fourth mom there who offers support online but didn’t know any moms locally and these three embraced her like they would each other.

It reminded me again that we must be the ones to lead the charge to dispel society’s myths about motherhood and to ensure that all moms, whatever point of motherhood they’re at,  get the emotional health care they deserve. We must challenge our own biases about anxiety and depression, and accept them as “health conditions” just like heart disease or diabetes. We must accept that self-care is self-preserving and that women who make their emotional health a priority have more not less to give. As Laura Nash said beautifully, “You can’t give away what you don’t have.”

So, we’ve decided to declare November “Self-Care Month” with the self-care contest/challenge running from Nov.14-18. We think this is the time when women need to be most reminded to keep their emotional pitchers full with all  the season’s demands. Please get your friends, co-workers, moms, daughters, neighbors and all your female peeps to join us for fun and great giveaways.

Also special thanks to my friend Susan Ellis Murphy who mentors the SNJPC support moms and works tirelessly to ensure the health of SNJ moms.

Get Back to “Basics” Today

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

A client called me yesterday to reschedule her appointment. As we wished
each other well before hanging up, she mentioned she was about to eat
lunch. The clock read 2:30 PM. She begins her work shift at 8:00 AM and finishes at 5:00 PM. She hadn’t taken the time to eat because she of her “busy day.”

How many of us ignore the very basic needs of Self-Care? Eating at least 3 meals
a day is just one of them. What about refusing to take a break to use the restroom
until it is such an urgent matter that we can’t ignore it? Taking a few minutes to relax with a cup of our favorite beverage to rest and renew?

One of the things mainstream society tells us is that productivity is good; idleness is bad…or worse – LAZY! Have we bought that belief so solidly we ignore our bodies’ very basic needs? Take notice– you may do this and
not even realize it. I know I was!

If this is a chronic problem for you, try scheduling your meals into your daily
calendar like you would a meeting. Don’t wait longer than a few minutes
ignoring nature’s call – get to a stopping point and go take care of your Self.

While self-care focuses on the soul, we can’t survive without healthy bodies!

Stacey Glaesmann, LPC is a counselor in private practice near Houston, TX. Her book, “What About Me? A Simple Guide to Self-Care in the 21st Century” is available at www.pearlandtherapy.com.

Changing Seasons-Changing Attitudes

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Fall is here, and that signals a time of introspection and self-analysis. Fall also symbolizes the time where we feel obligated (guilt involved or not) to redirect, “pay it forward,” and learn how to do “nothing.” Learn how to do nothing? Did she really just say that? That’s impossible! Not really, it just takes a few attempts before you get good at it.

Living self-care is more than lip service. I’m guilty of saying that I’ll do “xyz” for myself, and then, it magically doesn’t happen. Well it doesn’t happen because I don’t allow it to happen. How do we take care of ourselves without it feeling like a chore? The answer is as simple as mindset. In my opinion, it comes down to how we perceive, feel, and think about ourselves, and how we view ourselves in the big picture.

The self-care revolution is coming – we all feel it – it’s just a matter of when. Are you willing to take up “arms” and join us? Perhaps those arms will be more willing to hug and take care of others after we take care of ourselves. If you think about it, we can’t help anyone until we help ourselves.

Today’s guest author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves, feel safe and get advice on how to take care of, pamper, and check-in with themselves. These tools help them conquer their challenges and overcome obstacles to self-care.

Fall’s Here! Time to Reflect and Reconnect

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Back in the day before electricity lit our lives up year round, fall’s longer nights and cooler weather prompted us to move indoors and spend less time engaged in the hubbub of daily life. It was a time of rest and restoration. Harvest was ending and families huddled together preparing for winter’s onset.

Today we’re often too busy to even notice the leaves turning but we can change this. This week, take 15 minutes to go outside in the morning to smell the fall air. Notice the the trees, their leaves, and how effortlessly they let go. If you live in the city, pay attention to how outdoors feels different than last month. Stop to reflect on nature slowing down.

Then choose another day to write down what you’d like to let go of. Put each on a  slip of paper. Maybe it’s guilt over a mistake or pushing yourself too hard. Just write whatever comes up without judging or censoring. At the end of the week, take all you’ve written and burn them one by one, releasing them from your soul. Fall is an excellent time to release the old to make way for the new.

You can also do this with your family/friends. Give each person slips of paper to note what they’re ready to discard and burn them together. Reflect and reconnect with yourself and others, creating space for what you do want to enter your life like the trees shedding their leaves for new growth.

Self-Care Contest Challenge Starts Oct.2: Fill ‘Er Up

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

In our book Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide about adjusting to life post-birth, we say “Self-care now is just as essential to being the best mother you can be as was taking vitamins, exercising, and getting prenatal care while you were pregnant.  To be a good mom, you must be good to yourself first, physically and emotionally.  To aim for a balance between yours and others’ needs. It’s best to tackle this issue now, because it’s one you’ll be facing for the rest of your life.”

Whether you’re a new mom or not, self-care is essential to health and well-being.  Again from our book, “A pitcher of water provides a clear demonstration of what we mean. Imagine that you are a pitcher of water.  You keep pouring out, giving and giving as you take care of the needs of those around you: baby, children, partner, family, friends and pets. If you do not take action to fill the pitcher up again, pretty soon it will be empty.  No one is a bottomless pitcher. What do you need in order to fill up the pitcher again?”

With the self-care challenge/contest only 2 weeks away, we want you to notice your current self-care practices and when you feel depleted or nourished.  Rabbi Hillel said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me.  If I am only for myself, what am I?  If not now, when?”  Need help? We’re only a comment away.

 

Empower Yourself to BE YOU!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

I’m on vacation this week so I’m running Kelly’s guest post which reminds us to be true to who we are.

To be empowered is to say “YES! This is who I am” rather than letting others define you.   To find your inner voice and strength and use it to control your mind, your body, and your thoughts, staying true to yourself whatever life presents.

Being empowered is to reject helplessness. It is finding the courage to face what frightens you, and instead learn what you can from these experiences. By searching out these silver linings you are refusing to let the pain or fear rule you. Redefining life’s challenges by what you’ve gained.

When is the last time you used your “pause button” and MADE the choice to listen to yourself, to appreciate who you are, or to ask yourself “what do I want?” Remember that only you are the expert on you. You have the strength to create your life and to connect with your inner voice.

So try asking yourself:

  • What truly matters to me?
  • What are my priorities?
  • What are the values that I
    strive to live by?
  • When I wake up tomorrow what
    do I want to remember about today?

And now concentrate. Focus.
Breathe. Listen. And just BE YOU.

Today’s author Kelly Caul, MSW, LCSW is founder of EMPOWERED Therapy, LLC, whose mission is to empower you to BE YOU through individual and group therapy.  Kelly can be reached through her website at www.kellycaul.com.

3 Weeks Until Fall Self-Care Contest/Challenge: Let’s Get This Party Started

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Press Release

In the midwest where I live, there are definite signs that fall is upon us. Leaves are turning and days are growing shorter. Summer vacation is over, children are back in school and the air is buzzing with activity. Fall also signals impending holiday madness with too little time to get things done.

Which is why self-care is so important now and the reason we chose Mental Health Week (October 2-8) for our bi-annual self-care challenge/contest. We want to remind you to conserve some your energy now, like squirrels gathering acorns, to have enough for what’s ahead. Most of the tips in our contest/challenge take only 10-15 minutes but the resulting good feelings last much longer.

Last week, I spoke to Darline Turner of MamasOnBedrest about how moms/women can take better care of themselves whatever circumstances they find themselves in. Check out our podcast by clicking here. Darline is a champion for women’s health and said that she learned firsthand, like many of us, about the importance of self-care after becoming a mom.

Prior to the normal post-birth upheaval, her pregnancy journey was very stressful, which puts women even more at risk for postpartum issues. However, whether momss or not, women still have twice the depression men experience. For women,  self-care cannot be ignored.

Join us for our contest/challenge, 10/2-8. We’ll have more prizes, free downloads, and great advice. Meanwhile we still have Godiva Chocolates to give away. Find 5 friends to subscribe to our blog, livingselfcare, and you could be this week’s winner!