Tag: new moms

Sensible Weight Loss for New Moms (and the Rest of Us)

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in June Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Losing post pregnancy pounds can be hard work and whereas some mums find that the weight falls off easily with breastfeeding, many mums struggle with losing baby weight.

The most important thing to remember is that there is no rush to lose the weight by a certain date.  Yes the celebrities seem to do it in record time but they have a whole raft of helpers, nannies, chefs, cleaners and night nannies to help them and the average mum certainly does not.

A mum should only think about losing weight when they feel 100% ready. For some mums this could be more than 12 months after their baby is born; others may want to start sooner. For every mum it is a personal and individual decision.

If a mum does decide to lose weight, it is crucial to do it in a safe and healthy way. This means no extreme dieting or diets that cut out food groups or include weight loss accelerants.

Top 5 tips for losing weight

 1.     Include more fruit and vegetables in your diet. Make sure half your dinner plate is filled with vegetables.

2.     Don’t eat processed white bread, pasta or rice. Instead include more whole grains in your diet. Try grains such as Quinoa as a substitute for white rice.

3.     Eat more lean protein as protein will boost your metabolism and help you feel full longer.

4.     Cut out junk food which will not give your body nutrients and will leave you craving more sugar.

5.     Incorporate incidental exercise into your day such as walking to the shops, doing squats whilst making a cup of tea or dancing with your baby.

Today’s author is Rhian Allen founder of The Lose Baby Weight diet and exercise plan, specifically created for mums post pregnancy. For more info on her healthy eating and sensible exercise program, visit http://www.losebabyweight.com.au.

We Can’t Choose Our Families But…

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in June Tips, Monday Musings

June is National Family Month. I didn’t know until a friend told me which leads to the topic of this post. While we can’t choose the families we come from, we can create “families of choice” comprised of people who support us in our life’s journey. Of course, it’s wonderful when part of our “family of choice” is a parent, sibling, cousin or relative but this is not always the case.

First, let me emphasize that the intention of creating a “family of choice” is not to alienate or upset our “families of origin.” Although I am not particularly close to my siblings, I am friendly and accepting of them. If we were not related by blood, it’s unlikely we’d associate with each other. Learning to accept our differences and the limitations of our relationships has helped me grow as a person.

It’s enabled me to understand that just because someone is part of your family, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be close to them even though we grow up thinking this. In some families, people need to distance themselves from parents, siblings and other relatives who are a negative influence on them or abusive.  Still, it’s hard to abandon the idea of having a caring, connected relationship with close relatives. However, sacrificing our own emotional health to preserve an unhealthy connection is not a good option.

This is where “families of choice” come in. These are the individuals-friends, teachers, co-workers, we bring into our lives because we want to and feel there is something to be gained from each other. They are supportive, caring, mutually nourishing, and growth enhancing. They are not one-sided, negative or abusive. They help us feel good about ourselves and we do the same for them.

Who is in your “family of choice?” How are they different from your “family of origin?” What do you think of this idea?

How the Universe Conspires to Help Us

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in June Tips, Monday Musings

When I was brainstorming today about a topic for my post, my older daughter and her friend suggested I talk about “accepting help” and how I finally have a new website thanks to Kay Murray my talented web designer. Since we’ve been discussing the value of support, this seemed perfect and then it occurred to me. The story of my meeting Kay goes beyond receiving support to how the universe conspires to “help us” when we make our intentions known.

For years, I’ve been trying to revise my website without success. I spoke with several designers who didn’t work out in addition to realizing I couldn’t do it myself. I didn’t know where else to turn so I stopped looking. Then last December I was sitting at the auto license bureau waiting to renew my license when I overheard a conversation. Two young women were discussing plans for their new businesses and one was a web designer.

Because I’ve learned to listen when the universe speaks, I turned around immediately, apologized for interrupting, and asked the web designer about possibly working with me. Kay and I met a few weeks later and decided to move ahead. In May, my new website launched and I can’t thank her enough for her wonderful design and tech skills (which I do not have) and mentoring me.

Now besides livingselfcare.com, you can visit me at www.drdianesanford.com. The site is designed for moms and health providers and allows you to download my book and relaxation CD. Please stop by and let me know what you think.

This week, make your intentions known so the universe can help you. You never know what may happen.

P.S. A neighbor just stopped by to tell me my book was reviewed in a paper I’d thrown away. Click here for the story.

It’s Memorial Day-Let’s Show Our Support for Each Other

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in May Tips, Monday Musings

During the self-care challenge last week, several of you commented on the posts about support from other women. Because this is so key to self-care, we wanted to share them.

“When I was a first time mom, reaching out to other moms via moms groups, support groups and early childhood meetings was invaluable! Knowing that these other moms were struggling and questioning themselves about their parenting abilities, made me feel so much better! Another step I took that helped me to become more positive and confident was to write down the “positives” of the day, this would help dispel the “negatives” that would instantly enter my head in certain situations. Both of these actions were simple ways of taking caring of myself.”-Linda Meyer, Executive Director, Mother to Mother Phone Support Program. For info and support, call 1-800-644-7001.

The tip I’ve been  trying to practice is #8: Nourishing relationships with family and friends. As a new mom and someone new to the area, it’s been important to me to reach out to other women for support and friendship. I’ve been able to do this by joining the Mother to Mother postpartum depression support group and by taking several parenting classes. I’ve never been the type to reach out and ask for friendships, but in this case, I realized that if I didn’t take a bold step to fast track these relationships, that they might take a long time to cultivate. There was this one lady in the support group that I felt a particularly strong connection with the first time I met her, so I invited her to come visit me. She did, and we’ve been great friends ever since. Now that I look back on my life, I wish I had taken the initiative to pursue more friendships by asking people to my home or suggesting activities we could do together. I guess this old dog has learned a new trick!-Jennifer, mom of 7 month-old at home after 17-year career.

Self-Care Challenge Day 4: Support and Positive Thinking

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in May Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

As a first-time mom of a 16-month-old daughter, this past year has been the most rewarding, challenging and exhausting of my life. From the time my precious R was born, we have struggled with sleep issues.  First, she woke every hour letting us know that being put down was overrated. The next few months she could only sleep while breastfeeding which usually resulted in my being pinned to a chair (or bed) with my breast in R’s mouth. By month 7  we saw a sleep specialist, made some changes and things improved with occasional setbacks.

But this post isn’t about sleep training or my complaints, it’s about how I’ve taken care of myself during this year plus of sleep deprivation. The answer is two-fold: First, I created a network of support for myself that I rely on when I feel like I can’t go on and second, I think positively.

I cannot stress the importance of having a network of other moms. Whether it’s to say aloud, “I am so tired and I just don’t think I can go on like this” or “What did you do when your baby didn’t sleep?”- the support I have gotten from other women- some I know well and others I don’t- has been invaluable. It makes me feel stronger knowing that these women are there for me. What a treasure!

Thinking positively has also helped. When my friend’s babies started sleeping through the night at eight weeks and I was up 3-4 times a night and R wouldn’t nap anywhere but on me, I reminded myself to savor our cuddles and time together. Now when she wakes at 6 am, I think how lucky I am to take a walk with her before I go to work. Refocusing my attention on our “precious moments” gives me the energy to face the day.

Taking care of myself is good for my precious R because it makes me a better mommy.

Jessica is a first-time mom, LCSW and creator of the moms’ community on Facebook mamaSpace where you can to connect with other mamas. Reach Jessica at info@mamaspace.net.

Self-Care Starts with You-Let the Challenge Begin!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in May Tips, Monday Musings

As we like to say at livingselfcare.com, “Self-Care is like chocolate. You can never have enough.” During this week’s self-care challenge we’ll bring you daily tips and inspiration with a chance to win prizes that pamper. Click here to learn more.

The tip I’ve chosen to talk about from our Top Ten Tips Plus Two is #6-“Accept yourself and others wholly.” To love one’s self unconditionally, both strengths and limitations, may be one of the biggest challenges most of us face. Without self-acceptance, it’s impossible to feel secure, peaceful and accepting of others.

Exercise: Five Minutes for Yourself (from Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide):

Try to remember a day in your life when you felt happy, peaceful, and self-confident. It doesn’t matter if the memory is recent or from long ago. If you don’t have an actual memory to draw on, imagine what a day like this would look like. Are there people around or are you alone? Are you at the beach, in an office, on stage, snuggled in bed? Picture as vividly as possible the details of your surroundings. Use all five senses—identify sounds, smells, tastes, textures, and colors. Now pay attention to what your body feels like on this wonderful day. What is your breathing like? Can you feel your heartbeat? Are your shoulders relaxed? Can you feel your happiness clear to the tips of your fingers?

Now take a mental snapshot of this scene. You can return here whenever you need to take a break, whenever you need to feel refreshed and renewed. It only takes a few minutes. You only have to close your eyes and look at the snapshot again. It will all come flooding back to you: the sounds, colors, tastes, textures, and smells; the feelings of happiness, peace, and self-confidence radiating out into each part of your body. No one can take this away from you. It’s yours to keep and to draw on whenever you are in need.

Practice accepting your unique, wonderful self all week long. Remember, “progress not perfection” is the goal.

Self-Care Challenge Starts Monday

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in May Tips

Are you ready to live self-care? We hope so and our May 21-25 self-care challenge/contest will provide you with the tools and encouragement you need to get started or keep going if you’ve already begun.

Each May and October, we at livingselfcare.com offer a week long contest/challenge to help you make self-care part of your life. For our May 21-25 2012 challenge, we are asking you to take a look at Diane’s List of Ten Plus Two and choose a technique that you either already use or would like to try out. Then write a brief paragraph letting us know what you did and how it worked for you and email it to Stacey. Your submission qualifies you for our prize giveaway which includes a massage envy gift certificate, pedicure kit, Amazon gift certificate and more.

Our Challenge is not a competition. Instead, it is designed to encourage and support women as they move themselves to the top of their lists in order to support themselves as well as they do others.

We will also be tweeting and posting about how we’re doing personally with practicing our favorite self-care tips during  the challenge/contest at  www.twitter.com/realmomexperts and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/livingselfcare. Remember, progress, not perfection, is the goal!

Battling the Bulge While Embracing Equilibrium

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in May Tips

We all have our battle scars when it comes to our bodies and losing weight. I’m living proof of someone who often turned herself into a guinea pig – all in the name of getting healthy…and possibly finding balance.

“Hi, my name is Mollee and I’ve struggled with my weight for over 15 years. I am a self-admitted foodie who historically has had a hedonistic relationship with food.” While saying that “out loud” doesn’t magically make the pounds disappear, acknowledgment and transparency does at some point.

Frustrated at having tried just about everything, I came across a picture of my friend and she looked fabulous. I immediately contacted her and said, “Hey, you look amazing. What are you doing?” Turns out she took HCG drops. This controversial lifestyle changer has some people thinking it’s worse than Darth Vader, and others proclaiming their lives transformed because of it. I’m in the later camp.

I did my exhaustive research and decided that the only thing I had to lose were my bulges. I went by the book, didn’t cheat, made sure I had plenty of protein, vitamins and vegetables and by the end of my first round, 45 days later, I was 27 pounds lighter, with 28 inches melted off my body.  It sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?

I became acutely aware of how much I was overeating, and learned how to make more intelligent food and lifestyle choices. I am enjoying being more aware of how my body works, too. But it’s not all about me.

What I want you to walk away with is the fact that if you put your mind to what you want, be it a project, mission, way of doing something, you are 100 percent capable of doing so. The only thing getting in the way is you. If you’re committed to yourself, change happens.

I found and embraced my equilibrium, will you?

Today’s author is Mollee Bauer, founder of pregnancy.org and one of next week’s challenge champions. Join us May 21-25 as we challenge and support each other to make self-care part of our daily lives.

Time Magazine Asks Moms to Judge If We’re “Mom Enough”?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in May Tips, Monday Musings

Shame on them. Isn’t there enough competition among moms already? First, it was the debate over whether we could work outside of our homes and still care well for our children or if we needed to stay home for our children to thrive . With 70% of moms currently working outside of our homes to contribute to our families’ financial support, I guess they had to find something new for us to judge ourselves and each other about.

So, they picked how we parent, implying that only the toughest and most determined moms/parents could succeed at attachment parenting. The goal of attachment parenting is to create a secure bond between mom and baby through breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping and baby-wearing (keeping babies close to moms in a sling, on her lap while working, etc.) While parents are not encouraged to neglect their needs for sleep, nourishment, restorative activities-foundational self-care skills, it seems likely.

More important, the goal of all successful parenting is to create a secure bond between parent and child, whatever approach. In general, if we are attentive to our child’s needs while encouraging them to develop their independence to safely explore and master the world with your support, all will be fine. Flexibility and a willingness to grow and change ourselves is key. Finally, the research consistently shows that parents must balance their needs with those of their children for the best health outcomes.

Let’s not take the bait from Time Magazine and get caught in judging ourselves or other moms. There’s nothing to be gained. Whether we compete over how we raise our children or bringing the best school snack, losing the invaluable support of other moms isn’t worth it. Not for me!  The poet Rumi said, “Out beyond ideas of right-and wrong-doing, there’s a field. I’ll meet you there.”

This week is women’s health week and the week before our self-care challenge. Let’s join arms together to declare that women deserve to make their health and well-being a priority by making your health and well-being a priority this week and next. Now, that’s a battle worth fighting.

The Bare Necessities

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in May Tips, Self-Care Month, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

This month, we are writing about specific techniques to reduce stress based on Diane’s Top Ten Tips Plus Two. Today, I’d like to concentrate on, “Nourish your body with food, sleep, activity and rest.” It sounds like a no-brainer, doesn’t it? But when we chop this tip into pieces, we can see where we’re lacking.

1. Nourish Your Body With Food: I’m fairly sure that everyone that’s reading this eats every once in a while. But with busy days, sometimes we don’t take the time to make or buy something healthy. We end up going through the drive thru or getting a bag of chips out of the vending machine. This kind of diet will make you gain weight, raise your cholesterol, and increase your chances to develop Diabetes and heart disease. Think about it – how can you make time for eating healthy foods when you’re on the run? Many fast food chains offer some healthier choices, but cooking at home is the best because you’ll know everything that’s in your meal and can control its caloric content.

2. Nourish Your Body With Sleep: Raise your hand if you get 7 – 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. Since I don’t see any hands up, I’m assuming you’re trying to live on 4 – 6 hours per night. Some of you may be operating on even less, especially if you just had a baby. The trick is to get at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night. You may need to get your partner or family member involved so you can sleep while the other person tends to the baby. All of you other women who are not sleeping enough: find a way to go to bed earlier! Lack of sleep can also increase your risk for heart disease, stroke and depression.

3. Nourish Your Body With Activity and Rest: So many jobs involve sitting behind a desk or in front of a computer. This creates a very sedentary day! If your workplace has stairs, use them! Take a walk on your lunch break. Do stretches at your desk. Most experts agree that getting aerobic exercise for at least 20 minutes, 3 times a week will help you lose fat, gain muscle and make you feel great! Exercise releases endorphins, which are the same neurotransmitters that are released during orgasm! On the other side of the spectrum, we also need to take time out to rest. Not sleep – rest. Lie on your couch and breathe. Let the stresses of the day evaporate and let yourself slowly transition from work to home (or from homemaker to peace and relaxation).

Which tips are you already using? Which ones would you like to use? If you give these tips a try, let us know how it goes and you will be entered into our May Self-Care Challenge! Good luck!