Tag: self care tips for women

SNOWPOCALYPSE 2014: Humor for Stress Relief

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursdays with Stacey

For those of you who didn’t know, I live in the Houston, Texas area. The recent “polar vortices,” or SNOWPOCALYPSE, as the satire sites call it, have us Texans all in a bother.

Now, don’t get me wrong; there are many of us who take the cold rather well. But there are also many folks who get goosebumps once the temperature drops below 70F! Add “wintry mix” in the form of sleet, ice, and snow flurries and people down here lose their minds. School districts shut down (which is actually needed, as many buses have to drive on overpasses to get the kids to the schools, which is obviously dangerous when they are iced over), people stay home from work and the streets and freeways look like ghost paths.

Humor is a great way to combat depression and laughter actually helps relieve stress, as it produces hormones such as oxytocin and endorphins, which are our natural feel-good body chemicals. With that statement, here are some chuckles for you from various sites that poke fun at us Texans when the cold weather hits (and unfortunately, many of these ring true):

Articles:

Picture humor:

Where can you experience 4 seasons in 2 days?
Better cancel school!
This is the best we could do.
Temps are dropping…better close Texas!
On the highways…

I had volunteered to work with the Police Department at our city’s annual Winterfest on January 25. I had to report to my station at 8:30am and temperatures were still in the low 30’s, even though it was sunny (and it eventually warmed up nicely). To keep warm, I had a sweater under a fleece hoodie, with a hat under that, gloves and thermals under my jeans. I was told I looked like the Unabomber! The redness under my nose was caused by me constantly blowing it. Yes, even I am not immune to the horror of sub-40 degree temps! 🙂

The real Unabomber
I don’t see a resemblance! 😉

Preview of February Self-Care Month Events

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in January tips, Mental Health Education, Mondays with Diane, Self-Care Month

As you may have seen, Stacey and I decided to designate February as self-care month. With Valentine’s Day not far off, it seemed that the idea of self-care and showing ourselves “a little love” was timely.

During February, we’ll be writing and having guest posts on topics pertaining to self-care, self-compassion, self-love, wellness, mind/body health and other POSITIVE mental health topics. If you have something to say about the importance of self-care, have an established a self-care regimen that works for you or have questions about how other women (ourselves included) make self-care work, then please contact us using the form on our post announcing Self-Care Month.

If you live in St. Louis,we’ll be hosting several self-care classes at my office, Midwest Mind Body Health Center which are:

Mindful Stress Reduction: Saturday, February 8th 10am-noon

Join Dr. Sanford for this 2-hour class to learn clinically proven techniques to reduce anxiety, depression & stress, and improve health & well-being. Mindfulness skills include: breathing exercises, meditation, relaxation training, mind-body movement, thought-releasing techniques & self-compassion.

Mindful Moms: Mondays 9:30-10:45am

Start your week off in a calm, peaceful way with Mindful Moms. Practice basic mindfulness skills with other moms. Learn meditation, breathing exercises, mind-body movement, thought-releasing techniques and self-compassion to stress less & live better.

Women’s Self-Care: Wednesdays 7-8:15pm *Preview 1.28

Is it time for Code Lavender? Time to reduce stress and increase overall health and well-being. An intentional self-care map will make 2014 a year of transformative personal & professional growth!

Mommy 411: Thursdays 9:30-10:45am

Join Jamie Bodily, PLPC, for this on-going 4-session class and support group. Topics include mom & newborn physical care; coping with postpartum emotional adjustment; dealing with relationship changes & developing healthy sleep habits and schedules.

 

February is Self-Care Month! Help Us Celebrate!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Guest blogger, Self-Care Month

Buddha

We’ve deemed February as Self-Care Month! It’s a great time to do special things for YOU! Valentine’s Day focuses on relationships, but our February focuses on love for the Self.

We’re looking for a few good women to be guest bloggers on Saturdays during February. Have you got something to say about the importance of self-care? Have you established a self-care regimen that works for you? Do you have questions and would like to hear feedback from our readers? Have you made a video about self-care or wellness that you’d like to share? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then please contact us using the form below!

Guidelines:

You may re-post things from your own blog or site (and we’ll put a link in your post to direct readers to your site), write something original or post something that someone else wrote along with your reaction to it (make sure to include any relevant links to the original article/author). Basically, our website is your canvas to paint whatever you’d like as long as it pertains to self-care, self-compassion, self-love, wellness, mind/body health or any other POSITIVE mental health topic.

We look forward to hearing from you, ladies! Let’s share the love in February!

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Intuition Helps Solve “Mid-Life” Crises

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursdays with Stacey

I am in the middle of the developmental stage when most Americans hit their “mid-life crisis.” This generally occurs between the ages of 35 – 45 (I am 42). And yes, there is something to the mid-life crisis. Obviously, it isn’t universal, but most people experience a big change or the urge to make a big change during these years. From buying the clichéd red Corvette to changing careers to marriages and divorces, big transformations are often afoot.

I am currently assisting several clients with break-ups of all sorts (marriages, engagements, relationships), total career changes, and a few that are focusing on their “bucket lists,” experiencing now what they said they would, “some day.” The last category is especially exciting to help with, as the client is generally joyous and looking forward to each day, planning travel, visiting family, etc. The break-ups are tough, but on some level, each person knows that what’s happening is for the best in the long run, even though it’s painful now. I can personally identify with the folks making career changes because I am, too!

Don’t worry – I am not going anywhere! I am actually transitioning from counseling to exclusively writing and designing websites. It’s strange to think of “retiring” from a profession at age 42, but the inner voice that Diane referred to on Monday has been directing me to do this for quite some time. I have been listening and stopped taking new clients months ago, but only lately have I started making some real changes, such as designing a website (caution: under construction!) for my new business, updating things on my LinkedIn profile and researching ways to market my services. I’ll admit that it’s a bit scary, but since these actions are aligned with my inner voice, I am confident that I am following the “right” path.

This has happened to me once before, back in 1999 when my daughter was born and I was working in computer science. I had gone through and recovered from postpartum panic disorder and anxiety and felt something tugging at me. After feeling frustrated for a while, knowing I needed a change but not knowing how or what, I had one of those “spiritual experiences” that people talk about here and there. All of a sudden, I had visions of my future flash before my eyes – going back to school, working with addicted persons and then sitting across from a new mother, counseling her as she went through a postpartum mood disorder. These visions lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like longer. Even though I had been shown the path, it took me a while to find the school (I got in by the skin of my teeth because someone turned down one of the 20 spots offered per year). I got a job immediately after school working with drug trials to help addicted people stop using. And in 2004, I opened the doors of my private practice, where I specialized in postpartum mood disorders.

Here it is 10 years later and my inner voice is telling me what my next move needs to be. My mid-life crisis may involve a big change, but I am confident that I am doing what is best for me. The good news for YOU is that you have an inner voice, too! You don’t have to meditate or chant to hear it, though those things work for some people. There are simple techniques you can use to “tune in” to your intuitive self and have major questions answered!

  • Use the breath. Breathe in slowly and ask your question silently. Breathe out and listen for your answer. Make sure you are in a quiet, peaceful environment and are as relaxed as possible. You may have to repeat this several times, but the answer will come if you’re listening!
  • Trust your “hunches” and “gut feelings.” If you have a vague, bad feeling about something, then that is your inner voice telling you that is not a good choice for you! Conversely, if you feel “right” about your decision, path or choice, then it is a good thing!
  • Use a pen and paper or computer. Start writing about the situation you are in and then let go of controlling which words you write or type. Just write down whatever comes to mind. Journaling can take you from Point A to Point Z in a few minutes!
  • Work in your sleep. Before going to bed at night, take a few minutes to think about your situation. Then tell yourself that you intend to work it out in your dreams. When you wake up, immediately write down anything that comes to mind.
  • Do not listen to your ego-driven thoughts. These are the thoughts that cause confusion instead of clarity. Anything that is judgmental or starts with, “What if…” is definitely an ego-driven thought! Intuitive messages usually appear in your mind as images or you feel them in your gut or heart.

I hope that you’ll find one or more of these suggestions helpful! If you’re facing a “crisis” and have always wanted to try meditating, this would be a good time to start. For more information on meditation, visit http://www.how-to-meditate.org/.

Free Yourself To Be Yourself

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in January tips, Mental Health Education, Mondays with Diane

In a conversation with a client last week, we talked about how difficult it’s been for her to focus equally on what’s in “her best interest” as well as those of others. While she’s finally doing this more in her 50’s, it’s been hard to overcome the message that women often learn growing up of taking care of others in spite of the emotional cost to themselves.

I still remember when I said “No” for the first time to one of my family members and they threw a jar of mayonaise at my feet. Although I was startled by their response, I knew I had to stand my ground. One of the most revered Jewish teachers, Rabbi Hillel said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now when?”

In her remarkable poem “The Journey,” Mary Oliver describes how ultimately we must abide by our “inner voice” if we are to survive. This is also one of Maria Shriver’s favorite poem which she presented for National Poetry Day at the 2011 Women’s Conference, and which I advised my client to listen to last week.

So sit back, relax (well maybe) and enjoy the following rendition of “The Journey.” Then let us know what you think. Is this too radical to imagine or not? If so, what may be standing in your way? What would it take to free yourself to be yourself?

Click on the black box below to listen.

Media-Driven Mental Health Stigma: How We Can Help Stop It

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Mental Health Education, Thursdays with Stacey

I was not feeling well recently and so I had time to catch up on my “guilty pleasure” reading. In the December 23, 2013 issue of Star Magazine, there was a long article called, “Olivia Newton-John: No Regrets.” I’ve liked Olivia since I saw Grease when I was a kid, so I took the time to read it.

The paragraphs under the heading “Tragic Turns” mentioned Ms. Newton-John’s divorce in 1995, adding that, “She later admitted to undergoing therapy after the divorce.” Further down the page, the article reported that her partner of 9 years post-divorce disappeared during a fishing trip and that, “Olivia has admitted to taking anti-depressants during the dark period that followed. ‘I took them until I could see the light again and never did them again,’ she said.”

Is it just me or do you get a certain message “between the lines” because of the language that was used? The World English Dictionary defines admit as, “To confess or acknowledge (a crime, mistake, etc).” Basically, that means to acknowledge something negative. And when someone says they “never did [a drug] again,” it generally alludes to a dangerous or illegal substance, right? In any case, it sounds very negative once again.

Unfortunately, this is not the only media outlet to use language like this. The January 13, 2014 issue of People Magazine featured a 3-page spread about “America’s Dumbest Criminals.” The first on the list was Hannah Sabata, a young woman who robbed a bank and stole a car, then proceeded to make a video about it and upload it to YouTube. On the surface, it does sound not-so-bright; however, further down the paragraph, it was stated that Sabata was mentally ill. She was quoted as saying, “…I was just manic…” This may mean that she suffers from Bipolar Disorder. In a manic state, people deal with impulsivity and dangerous behaviors. It’s not because they’re dumb; it’s because they are ill.

So what can we do when we come across things like this? I took the time to email letters to the editors of both magazines. I don’t know if they’ll be printed or not, but they probably will be read by someone. Perhaps that will create a ripple effect. I am also canceling my subscription to People (the Star magazine was given to me by someone else). I cannot in good conscience support a magazine that perpetuates the stigma.

If you’re tired of the media making self-care, self-help, therapy and psychiatry out to be shameful, then take a stand. When you come across something like the examples above, please take some time to write to the editor, contact the station manager or webmaster. If one single person hears you, then perhaps eventually the whole country will.

Blessings to you and yours!

“Self-care is Like Chocolate. You Can Never Have Enough.”

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in January tips, Mental Health Education, Mondays with Diane

Like Stacey last week, I’ve been a little under the weather this weekend so I’m posting a link to a new interview I did for Psych Central about practicing self-care. The above phrase is one my husband and I came up with for a talk I gave to new moms, although all of us (including me) can benefit from being reminded.

Here are some recommendations from the interview, which you can click here and read in its entirety.

Practice self-care in intervals.

For instance, take 15 minutes for yourself, twice a day, said Sanford, co-author of the book Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide. “Don’t do the laundry, make dinner or read your email.” Instead, take that time to close your eyes and breathe, read a magazine or take a shower, she said.

Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness is “paying attention to the present moment on purpose, without judgment,” Sanford said. And you can do this with any activity, at any time. For instance, when washing the dishes, don’t think about your to-do list. “Just pay attention to the sensory experience” of doing the dishes. When playing with your child, focus on the experience of being with them, she said.

Sanford also suggests her clients try this breathing exercise once in the morning and once during the day, along with this body scan as they lie down to sleep. One client, who had a baby in October, sets her morning alarm for five minutes earlier to practice the breathing exercise.

Ignore the naysayers.

Some people might disapprove of you taking time out for yourself. Remember that others’ objections are more about the discomfort within themselves than your actions, Sanford said. Instead, “listen to your inner wisdom,” and tune into your own feelings. Does an activity feel nourishing to you? Do you feel recharged?

The next time you feel guilty or selfish for practicing self-care, remind yourself that “you matter too, and denying your own needs for a prolonged period does not serve anyone,” Eder said. As Sanford noted, self-care isn’t selfish, it’s “self-preserving.”

What wil you do for self-care this week? How will you make it happen?

Striving for Underachievement

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursdays with Stacey

In honor of my “sick day,” I am re-posting an oldie but goodie! Enjoy! – Stacey

Have you noticed that we live in an achievement-oriented society (at least those of us in the U.S.)? Many people feel like they are wasting time if they are not producing, attaining or completing something. It can get exhausting at times! Sometimes the only occasion we give ourselves a break is on vacation – and many times even those are meticulously planned out to the minute, leaving little real relaxation time.

When is the last time that you aspired to “underachieve?” I’m talking about taking a day off to do “nothing” like watching TV, movies, reading a book, staying in your pajamas, eating ice cream? Have a day to turn off your phone and computer, to not do any errands or chores, take a nap or go within? When is the last time you were able to take a whole day to “play it by ear?” I hope your answer involves some time recently, but if it doesn’t, why not try “underachievement” soon? When you give yourself permission to not do anything productive, there’s no reason to feel guilty. You may, however, feel a little pampered – and that’s generally a pretty good feeling!

Transforming Your Life One Day At A Time

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in January tips, Mental Health Education, Mondays with Diane

It’s the New Year and the question on many of our minds is, “What will I choose to do with my life this year?” Some of us will resolve to lose weight, quit smoking, start exercising and improve our physical health. Others may resolve to be a better parent, spend more time with friends, or de-clutter our homes. For women who work outside their homes, the focus may be on improving our careers, getting a new job or finding more work-life balance. Whatever it is, most of us view the New Year as a fresh start in becoming a better version of ourselves.

Here at livingselfcare, our commitment is to help provide you with inspiration and information to help you lead the best life you can-body, mind, heart and soul. While Stacey and I draw upon our life experiences and resources we’ve found to write our posts, we’re always looking for ideas and recommendation about other blogs, websites, books and resources that offer information on women’s mind-body health and well-being. Just this past week my colleagues introduced me to two new website, workingwomen.com and  healthywomen,org, both which I highly recommend. The more women I meet through the web, the more convinced I become that it is women who will reshape the world into a more humane and peaceful place which we desperately need.

What I’d like to say today is that while the New Year provides an opportunity for change, each day brings the chance to start anew. Here are some guidelines for mind-body health and well-being from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Resolve to follow these four agreements daily and your other goals are more likely to be achieved.

1. Always be impeccable with your word.

2. Don’t take things personally.

3. Don’t make assumptions.

4. Always do your best. 

Transform your life one day at a time with commitment, effort and persistence. Yes, you can!

P. S. Please let us know what books, websites, blogs, and other resources inform and inspire you to share with our livingselfcare community.

Happy New Year and Other Musings

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursdays with Stacey

happy-new-year-wallpapers7-2014

I’ve heard so many people say that they are glad 2013 is over. Since time is an illusion, logically, December 31 doesn’t really change much when January 1 arrives. We still experience a constant flow of present moments. However, many people use the new year as a chance to either “start over” or change something for the better. Resolutions are posted all over social media and discussed by the water cooler. For an interesting take on New Years Resolutions, read this article from Psychology Today.

This holiday season was challenging for my family and me, as there were many losses (pets, friends and a family member). I must admit that I am still in a bit of a funk – just not feeling “quite right.” I am an empath, meaning I tend to absorb feelings from people around me and even the general energy of the larger community. I am acutely aware of this, yet my not-rightness is still hanging around.

I could just be doom-and-gloom about it, but that doesn’t do me or anyone around me any good. Instead, I am trying to ground myself in the present moment as often as I can. I may generally feel “off,” but RIGHT NOW I am A-OK. I also know that “this too shall pass,” and am processing things as they come up in my journal or with my therapist. It’s hard not to feel impatient or wish that this would just go away. However, I know there are lessons to be learned in this situation, and if I don’t stay present, I may miss them. This didn’t change with the passing of 2013.

As this new year starts, I wish all of you a wonderful 2014 and encourage you to slow down, breathe, stay mindful and enjoy the small things in life that make you smile. If you’re having a hard time finding something to smile about, check out the links below. Laughter is truly great medicine and these funny sites can help you switch from yucky to joyful in a matter of minutes!

Namaste’.