Tag: self-care

Self-Care During the Heat Wave

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in July Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Temperatures have been breaking records all over the country due to the extreme heat. Not only is it uncomfortable, but triple-digit temperatures can be the cause of illness and even death if you don’t take care of yourself!

Some self-care techniques may seem obvious when you step outside and immediately start sweating. Stay inside where there’s air conditioning, drink plenty of water, and, if you do have to be outside for more than 15 minutes, wear at leastSun Protection Factor (SPF) 30 sunscreen to protect your skin from dangerous sunburns and seek out shady spots and take breaks often. However, there are some facts about self-care in the heat that many are not aware of.

Pools are popular places for residents to go for relief from the heat. The cool water masks the fact that you are still most likely sweating. Also, the pool water can actually focus ultraviolet (UV) rays on to your skin in a more extreme manner than if you were out of the water. So if you think you have less of a chance of getting burned in the pool, think again. Don’t pass up that SPF 30 or greater sunscreen, and apply it often – about every 30 minutes. This also applies to visits to the beach or a lake!

Cloudy, breezy days also seem to encourage folks to come outside. Many people believe that since it is cloudy, their risk for sunburn is diminished. Unfortunately, UV rays easily penetrate even the thickest cloud cover can can burn skin just as quickly as they would on a clear day.

It is true that the best times of the day to be outside in weather like this is in the mornings before 10 a.m. or in the afternoons after 4 p.m. The sun is not high in the sky during these times and UV rays are not as harsh. However, if you are required to be outside for over one hour during the heat of the day, wearing long sleeved shirts, long pants and a hat will give you the greatest protection. It sounds backwards, but the clothing will protect your skin and will also help absorb moisture from sweat. In this case, it is essential to stop and drink water every 10 – 15 minutes to lessen the chances of experiencing heat exhaustion or heat stroke. It used to be common thought that sugar and caffeine found in sodas and other drinks actually dehydrated the body, but this has been found to be false. However, experts still agree that water is the best option for hydration in temperatures this hot.

It looks like the heat is here to stay for a while, but using the self-care tips outlined above, you and your family can navigate the summer free of sunburns and heat illness.

Sex Isn’t Just to Procreate-It’s Important for Self-Care

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in July Tips

Let’s face it – summer is hot. This summer is no exception, especially in the Midwest where the temperatures are hotter than the sub-tropics. What better time to talk about sex than when it’s hot?

Sex is hot, just like summer. Well, it can be if you want it to be. Your version of sex doesn’t have to match “those” kinds of movies or involve any fancy moves or technics. Sex is what you want and need it to be. Whether it’s more about intimacy or steamy, sweaty action, sex is part of the self-care continuum.

Are you wondering why I’m stating this to be true? In my opinion, what better way to instill a positive image in oneself than when you’re feeling confident and sexy with your partner? Many of us refuse to see the beauty in ourselves – inside or out. Sex and intimacy and the amount we have – or not — is a direct measure of our self-esteem, confidence and self-caring.

When we care about ourselves, we care about our bodies, our well-being and our ability to please ourselves and our partner. That’s why when we don’t get enough of it, sex becomes a chore when “babymaking,” or it isn’t fulfilling our needs, it can put a crimp in our self-care regimen.

Want my advice? Crank up the air conditioning, grab that partner and have some fun together! Don’t have someone to share sexy times with? There’s nothing wrong with taking care of you. That’s what self-care is all about! Have a safe and sexy summer!

Today’s “sexy” author is Mollee Bauer, founder of pregnancy.org, the premier website for info, advice and support for pregnancy, new moms and early motherhood. To visit, click here.

50 Shades of Grey Mama Style

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in June Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Did you know that one of the two most common complaints women report to their doctors is low libido? Well, the popularity of the new novel 50 Shades of Grey certainly suggests otherwise. So where’s the disconnect? Check out what Mollee Bauer of pregnancy.org had to say about this.

“It’s not easy feeling sexy in regurgitated breast milk and hair that is matted with mashed bananas (which of course has been strategically placed by your wee one).

Sex and motherhood – is that an oxymoron?

These days, it seems that women aren’t necessarily raised with a sense of entitlement to sexual expression. Moms face antiquated notions that maternity and sexuality shouldn’t even be in the same room. Lots of mothers mention that their desire for sex didn’t go away when they had children. Instead, they insist the desire gets buried under mounds of conflicting demands for their time and attention.

If you ask a mom about her sex life, you’ll most likely hear, “Sex? What’s sex?” It’s a well-known statistic that parents who are living with children (especially younger children) only spend 20 minutes each week being intimate with one another. There are always exceptions but sadly this seems to be the norm.

How does sex and motherhood fit into self-care? Fulfillment in this arena is just as important for your overall self-esteem, not to mention emotional and physical well-being. Like meditation, sex is good for the soul. Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you’re dead.

Today’s guest Mollee Bauer, is founder of Pregnancy.org, the premiere online health site which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves, feel safe and get advice
on how to take care of, pamper, and check-in with themselves. These tools help them conquer their challenges and overcome obstacles to self-care.”

A Good Kind of Stress

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in June Tips, Monday Musings

I just got back from a wonderful vacation to Disney World with my daughter and my dad. It was a great week, but I feel like I need a vacation from my vacation! This got me thinking about the stress we experience from good things – it’s called “eustress.”

Whether it’s a vacation, getting married or getting a promotion, even good experiences have stress attached to them. At Disney, we did a lot of walking and waiting in long lines in a high heat and humidity climate. We had to navigate crowds and deal with air travel. So while we all had a fabulous time, all 3 of us are now taking a couple of days to relax from the eustress we experienced.

Many people don’t realize the amount of stress that’s involved with positive events. And if they feel stressed-out, irritable or anxious, they think that there’s something wrong with them instead of acknowledging the eustress that accompanies good events. Thoughts like, “How can I be feeling so bad? I’m on vacation!” can increase anxiety and cause guilt. But when folks accept that yes, even positive situations are stressful, the anxiety and guilt will usually decrease or go away altogether.

When we chose the dates for our vacation, we purposely booked the flight home on a Friday so we would have the weekend to decompress from our eustress before going back to work on Monday. I have been relaxing, watching movies and playing around on the computer all weekend. Laundry and other chores need to be done, but they will still be there tomorrow when, hopefully, I will feel recovered from my vacation eustress.

What are some of the coping techniques that you have used to dissolve your eustress? We’d love to hear what works for you!

P.S. We will be announcing the winners from our May Self-Care Challenge on Thursday! Stay tuned!

Sensible Weight Loss for New Moms (and the Rest of Us)

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in June Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Losing post pregnancy pounds can be hard work and whereas some mums find that the weight falls off easily with breastfeeding, many mums struggle with losing baby weight.

The most important thing to remember is that there is no rush to lose the weight by a certain date.  Yes the celebrities seem to do it in record time but they have a whole raft of helpers, nannies, chefs, cleaners and night nannies to help them and the average mum certainly does not.

A mum should only think about losing weight when they feel 100% ready. For some mums this could be more than 12 months after their baby is born; others may want to start sooner. For every mum it is a personal and individual decision.

If a mum does decide to lose weight, it is crucial to do it in a safe and healthy way. This means no extreme dieting or diets that cut out food groups or include weight loss accelerants.

Top 5 tips for losing weight

 1.     Include more fruit and vegetables in your diet. Make sure half your dinner plate is filled with vegetables.

2.     Don’t eat processed white bread, pasta or rice. Instead include more whole grains in your diet. Try grains such as Quinoa as a substitute for white rice.

3.     Eat more lean protein as protein will boost your metabolism and help you feel full longer.

4.     Cut out junk food which will not give your body nutrients and will leave you craving more sugar.

5.     Incorporate incidental exercise into your day such as walking to the shops, doing squats whilst making a cup of tea or dancing with your baby.

Today’s author is Rhian Allen founder of The Lose Baby Weight diet and exercise plan, specifically created for mums post pregnancy. For more info on her healthy eating and sensible exercise program, visit http://www.losebabyweight.com.au.

We Can’t Choose Our Families But…

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in June Tips, Monday Musings

June is National Family Month. I didn’t know until a friend told me which leads to the topic of this post. While we can’t choose the families we come from, we can create “families of choice” comprised of people who support us in our life’s journey. Of course, it’s wonderful when part of our “family of choice” is a parent, sibling, cousin or relative but this is not always the case.

First, let me emphasize that the intention of creating a “family of choice” is not to alienate or upset our “families of origin.” Although I am not particularly close to my siblings, I am friendly and accepting of them. If we were not related by blood, it’s unlikely we’d associate with each other. Learning to accept our differences and the limitations of our relationships has helped me grow as a person.

It’s enabled me to understand that just because someone is part of your family, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be close to them even though we grow up thinking this. In some families, people need to distance themselves from parents, siblings and other relatives who are a negative influence on them or abusive.  Still, it’s hard to abandon the idea of having a caring, connected relationship with close relatives. However, sacrificing our own emotional health to preserve an unhealthy connection is not a good option.

This is where “families of choice” come in. These are the individuals-friends, teachers, co-workers, we bring into our lives because we want to and feel there is something to be gained from each other. They are supportive, caring, mutually nourishing, and growth enhancing. They are not one-sided, negative or abusive. They help us feel good about ourselves and we do the same for them.

Who is in your “family of choice?” How are they different from your “family of origin?” What do you think of this idea?

They Grow Up So Fast

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in June Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

It is almost noon and I am sitting here waiting for my teenage girl to wake up. It is now summer break, and she takes advantage of catching up on her sleep deficit. As I sit here, I’m feeling nostalgic and a little bit sad.

Yesterday, the kiddo and I made plans to spend the day together. It’s my day off and it seems like I don’t see her very often. She’s really good about doing all her chores and so her reward is being allowed to visit friends. And visit she does! I know her friends now know her much better than I do, thus the sadness.

I remember when she couldn’t wait to spend time with me. She was always a “momma’s girl” and really still is in a lot of ways. I know in my heart that this is what happens developmentally: adolescents focus more on their peers than on their parents. She’s developing her individuality. She’s proving the idea that “they grow up so fast.” But who says I have to like it?

This is our challenge, moms! We have to move into acceptance as our children grow up. It is our job to teach them and guide them so we can feel confident about them eventually going out into the big, bad world. There’s nothing wrong with feeling sad or whatever else you may feel. Just make sure you don’t let yourself go down the “hurt” road. Your child is not trying to hurt you on purpose; he/she is doing his/her job, which is growing up and launching him/herself out into the world. You don’t have to like it, but just know that’s how it is. Accept this and look back at all the things you and your partner have given your children: lessons learned, guidance, being there through sickness or emotional issues, and letting them know that you will always be here if they need you. That, my friends, is how it’s supposed to be!

How the Universe Conspires to Help Us

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in June Tips, Monday Musings

When I was brainstorming today about a topic for my post, my older daughter and her friend suggested I talk about “accepting help” and how I finally have a new website thanks to Kay Murray my talented web designer. Since we’ve been discussing the value of support, this seemed perfect and then it occurred to me. The story of my meeting Kay goes beyond receiving support to how the universe conspires to “help us” when we make our intentions known.

For years, I’ve been trying to revise my website without success. I spoke with several designers who didn’t work out in addition to realizing I couldn’t do it myself. I didn’t know where else to turn so I stopped looking. Then last December I was sitting at the auto license bureau waiting to renew my license when I overheard a conversation. Two young women were discussing plans for their new businesses and one was a web designer.

Because I’ve learned to listen when the universe speaks, I turned around immediately, apologized for interrupting, and asked the web designer about possibly working with me. Kay and I met a few weeks later and decided to move ahead. In May, my new website launched and I can’t thank her enough for her wonderful design and tech skills (which I do not have) and mentoring me.

Now besides livingselfcare.com, you can visit me at www.drdianesanford.com. The site is designed for moms and health providers and allows you to download my book and relaxation CD. Please stop by and let me know what you think.

This week, make your intentions known so the universe can help you. You never know what may happen.

P.S. A neighbor just stopped by to tell me my book was reviewed in a paper I’d thrown away. Click here for the story.

Be Your Own Advocate

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in May Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

What a great Self-Care Challenge we had! Thank you to all who participated! Diane and I will announce winners and prizes next week, as I am on my way to a training today. We put ourselves first, and instead of rushing and scrambling to get things out this week, we are moving it back. It is always our hope to be good role models for you!

As I write this, I am in the Emergency Room at a hospital in the Houston Medical Center with a good friend who fell ill this morning. As I talk to various healthcare professionals, it struck me just how important advocating for your own healthcare is. Not only do we need to supply information, but we need to ASK for information. If a doctor or nurse wants to treat you with something, it is your right to ask them exactly what they are doing. If you don’t want that treatment or if you have questions about an alternate treatment, speak up!

It’s only natural to feel at the mercy of a doctor. Our society teaches that folks such as doctors, lawyers, police and teachers are authority figures who can’t be questioned. The truth is that your healthcare team is actually working for YOU. Use critical thinking and ask questions; try to get past any feelings of intimidation. And if someone is rude or mistreats you, make sure you take action by reporting that person to their supervisors or filing a complaint with a Patient Liason.

Hopefully you won’t see the inside of a hospital anytime soon, but if you do, remember that YOU come first!

To read more, check out this article from The Hospitals and Health Networks.

Self-Care Challenge Day 4: Support and Positive Thinking

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in May Tips, Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

As a first-time mom of a 16-month-old daughter, this past year has been the most rewarding, challenging and exhausting of my life. From the time my precious R was born, we have struggled with sleep issues.  First, she woke every hour letting us know that being put down was overrated. The next few months she could only sleep while breastfeeding which usually resulted in my being pinned to a chair (or bed) with my breast in R’s mouth. By month 7  we saw a sleep specialist, made some changes and things improved with occasional setbacks.

But this post isn’t about sleep training or my complaints, it’s about how I’ve taken care of myself during this year plus of sleep deprivation. The answer is two-fold: First, I created a network of support for myself that I rely on when I feel like I can’t go on and second, I think positively.

I cannot stress the importance of having a network of other moms. Whether it’s to say aloud, “I am so tired and I just don’t think I can go on like this” or “What did you do when your baby didn’t sleep?”- the support I have gotten from other women- some I know well and others I don’t- has been invaluable. It makes me feel stronger knowing that these women are there for me. What a treasure!

Thinking positively has also helped. When my friend’s babies started sleeping through the night at eight weeks and I was up 3-4 times a night and R wouldn’t nap anywhere but on me, I reminded myself to savor our cuddles and time together. Now when she wakes at 6 am, I think how lucky I am to take a walk with her before I go to work. Refocusing my attention on our “precious moments” gives me the energy to face the day.

Taking care of myself is good for my precious R because it makes me a better mommy.

Jessica is a first-time mom, LCSW and creator of the moms’ community on Facebook mamaSpace where you can to connect with other mamas. Reach Jessica at info@mamaspace.net.