Can a Video Game Help with Self Care?

Recently, a good friend brought a game to my attention. When she said, “You have to check out this game!” my first reaction was, “No thank you…I don’t need another distraction!” I’ve never been much of a gamer, and I think the reason is because I can become obsessive about something fairly easily.

My friend persisted and convinced me to watch the game’s inventor, Jane McGonigal, explain the concept behind her idea. Once I realized that this “game” was really about promoting self-care, I jumped on board and started “playing.”

The game, which can be downloaded from most app stores or played online, is called SuperBetter. I originally chuckled at the name because it sounds like some kind of bad Japanese translation. But as I started playing, I couldn’t think of any name that was better suited for it!

Here’s the gist: like in most games, you are the central character. You can make a “secret identity” if you wish – really it’s a cool way of creating an online persona. You can form alliances with anyone else who is playing the game (it works with people who are not playing, too, but it’s not as effective). You identify your own “bad guys” – the things that are your greatest challenges AND your own “power ups” which are the things that you know make you feel better. It’s basically a guide to making your own personal self-care plan. It does not take a lot of time to play – you can do most things in less than 5 minutes. BUT IT WORKS. I can tell if I have gone a whole day without playing just by checking in with my tension levels.

SuperBetter, at the very least, is a reminder that you need to take care of yourself. But at the most – it can add years to your life, strengthen friendships, problem-solve obstacles and provide a community to share your experiences. If this sounds like something you’d like to experience, make sure to watch Jane’s video to hear her scientifically researched rationale behind the game. Then download the app or visit the SuperBetter site and get ready to feel…well, SuperBetter!

How Our Children Teach Us to Surrender

One of my most challenging life lessons has been surrender-letting go of what I want to have happen and allowing life to unfold naturally. Sound familiar? I imagine it is. Why is this so hard to do? Because we’re convinced that if we “let go” bad things or at least random things will happen, that will be bad for us. But if we hang on really tight, then we can produce the desired outcome. Right?

What often happens though is that we produce the effect we wanted to avoid. Take our children for example, the more we struggle to make them like us, the more they fight to be themselves. I am not talking about teaching them to be kind, respectful and compassionate. Of course, we want to do everything we can to instill these values. What I mean is trying to control who they become like who they choose as friends or the interests they pursue.

Here’s what Kahlil Gibran had to say “On Children”

“Your children are not your children, They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

This week, look deeply into your child’s eyes and ask “Who are you? Who are you becoming?” Then listen with your intuition. If you don’t have children, look into your own eyes in the mirror and ask the same questions. Finally, release whatever comes to mind and let the universe fill in the details. Ah, the sweet taste of surrender.

Enjoy!

The 5 Best Self-Care Resources on the Net

When it comes to self-care, it can be tough to find resources that are both of quality and informative. In order to make the search easier, here are the 5 best self-care resources on the web (in no particular order):

1. Self-Compassion: A Healthier Way of Relating to Yourself – Dr. Kristin Neff from the University of Texas at Austin provides a comprehensive site with resources, books and exercises in self-care. She also offers guided meditation videos and scripts, as well as research on the topic of self-compassion.

2. Kind Over Matter – this site is run like a community, with forums, free downloadable inspirational material and eBooks. According to the site’s creator, Laura, Kind Over Matter “… [helps readers] lead authentic lives doing what we love & by sharing that, by giving it a voice, we are helping more people step into their dreams & greatness.”

3. Psychology Today – the partner site to Psychology Today magazine contains many articles about self-care, self-compassion, relationships and coping mechanisms for stress.

4. Mindful Self-Compassion – psychotherapist Dr. Christopher Germer, based in Arlington, MA, provides a site that contains free downloadable exercises, free audio meditations, books and the opportunity to sign up for one of his many workshops.

5. Living Self-Care – you’re already here! Our blog, updated bi-weekly, provides tips and exercises that promote self-care. We also have a “self-care challenge” 2 times a year in which everyone is a winner.

The quest for self-care is heating up as people around the globe realize that most of their problems stem from lack of it! While there are other, smaller sites on the topic, the 5 listed above are the most comprehensive and useful for anyone interested in the subject.

Sex and Creativity: The Power of the Second Chakra

As you know, I recently spent a week at “Seduction of Spirit,” a signature workshop given by Deepak Chopra and his talented Chopra Center instructors. While there, we studied the seven “chakras” or energy centers in our body. Today, I want to pass on what I learned about our second chakra-the seat of our sexual energy and creativity-physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

Second chakra energy is critical to he evolution of consciousness which depends on sexual union and procreation but also our union with universal consciousness which you may call God, Jesus Christ, Buddha or your higher power. What this means is that by expressing yourself creatively in your own unique way through the arts and who you, you enable life to change for the better. If this sounds a little “woo woo,” keep listening because when you are in harmony with the “cosmic dance,” life is an endless, creative pursuit which flows effortlessly.

Here’s what Patanjali, the author of Yoga Sutras had to say in the first to third century B.C.

“When you inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds;

Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new great and wonderful world;

Dormant forces, faculties, and talents come alive, and your discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”

This week express second chakra energy by connecting with your authentic self through pleasure and joy, physically, emotionally, and spirituality. Abandon yourself to the cosmic dance. Let the energy of the universe flow through you free and unbounded.

Enjoy!

Sex: Why We Love It and Why It’s Okay

Sex: it’s everywhere! From slacks to soda, the concept of sex is used in print, Internet and TV ads more than any other theme of everyday life. What’s so alluring about the idea of sex and sexy things that draws us to it like moths to a flame?

That is not a simple question to answer, unfortunately. There are so many factors that tie in with the concept of sexuality, there’s no one that can be identified. However, since sex is something all humans have in common, whether it’s the act or the urge to act, just about everyone can relate to the general concept. And when people relate to something, they are more likely to buy it or support it.

There’s also the allure of the “forbidden fruit” or taboo aspect. Humans want things that are considered no-no’s by society. We want to feel individualized and rebellious. Even though sex is way more widely visible in today’s world than it was even 10 years ago, there’s still a stigma attached to it. Sex is something people do behind closed doors; it’s secret. That’s another reason we react the way we do.

In this heat wave, many people are choosing to stay inside in the air conditioning. And, as in the wintertime, when folks are thrown together in such close company, many are heating up the bedroom. Sex is an important part of self-care, as it relieves stress, releases our natural painkillers (called endorphins), and generally elevates our mood. So no matter the reason you find yourself drawn to the concept of sex, keep in mind that it’s part of healthy self-care; and therefore, you are not a pervert for thinking about it!

Happy heat wave!

The Law of Giving and Receiving

I just got back from a wonderful week of meditation and yoga with Deepak Chopra and the amazing Chopra Center teachers. In it, they talked about how each day corresponds to one of “7 Spiritual Laws of Success,” and ways to practice each law on a given day.

So, here’s my first gift for you-ideas from Deepak Chopra about how to put Monday’s law, the “Law of Giving” into practice.

1. Bring everyone you come in contact with today a gift. For example, a smile, compliment or hug. Be creative. Material gifts count too but research shows that affection, attention and acceptance nourish our souls most.

2.  Be grateful for all life’s gifts like the sun, the flowers and waking up in the morning. Be open to receiving gifts from others whether it’s a material gift, compliment or kind remark. Let it soak in.

3. Keep the ultimate “wealth in life” -love, affection and caring ” circulating through giving and receiving which work in unison to keep the energy of the universe flowing. Send lovingkindness silently to everyone you meet.

My second gift to you is to encourage you to sign up for the Chopra Center’s 21-Day meditation challenge “Free to Love” which starts today. Each day has a guided meditation, inspiration and practical tips about improving your health and well-being. Don’t pressure yourself about this. Be open-minded and take from it what works for you. That’s all.

Enjoy!

Self-Care During the Heat Wave

Temperatures have been breaking records all over the country due to the extreme heat. Not only is it uncomfortable, but triple-digit temperatures can be the cause of illness and even death if you don’t take care of yourself!

Some self-care techniques may seem obvious when you step outside and immediately start sweating. Stay inside where there’s air conditioning, drink plenty of water, and, if you do have to be outside for more than 15 minutes, wear at leastSun Protection Factor (SPF) 30 sunscreen to protect your skin from dangerous sunburns and seek out shady spots and take breaks often. However, there are some facts about self-care in the heat that many are not aware of.

Pools are popular places for residents to go for relief from the heat. The cool water masks the fact that you are still most likely sweating. Also, the pool water can actually focus ultraviolet (UV) rays on to your skin in a more extreme manner than if you were out of the water. So if you think you have less of a chance of getting burned in the pool, think again. Don’t pass up that SPF 30 or greater sunscreen, and apply it often – about every 30 minutes. This also applies to visits to the beach or a lake!

Cloudy, breezy days also seem to encourage folks to come outside. Many people believe that since it is cloudy, their risk for sunburn is diminished. Unfortunately, UV rays easily penetrate even the thickest cloud cover can can burn skin just as quickly as they would on a clear day.

It is true that the best times of the day to be outside in weather like this is in the mornings before 10 a.m. or in the afternoons after 4 p.m. The sun is not high in the sky during these times and UV rays are not as harsh. However, if you are required to be outside for over one hour during the heat of the day, wearing long sleeved shirts, long pants and a hat will give you the greatest protection. It sounds backwards, but the clothing will protect your skin and will also help absorb moisture from sweat. In this case, it is essential to stop and drink water every 10 – 15 minutes to lessen the chances of experiencing heat exhaustion or heat stroke. It used to be common thought that sugar and caffeine found in sodas and other drinks actually dehydrated the body, but this has been found to be false. However, experts still agree that water is the best option for hydration in temperatures this hot.

It looks like the heat is here to stay for a while, but using the self-care tips outlined above, you and your family can navigate the summer free of sunburns and heat illness.

Sex Isn’t Just to Procreate-It’s Important for Self-Care

Let’s face it – summer is hot. This summer is no exception, especially in the Midwest where the temperatures are hotter than the sub-tropics. What better time to talk about sex than when it’s hot?

Sex is hot, just like summer. Well, it can be if you want it to be. Your version of sex doesn’t have to match “those” kinds of movies or involve any fancy moves or technics. Sex is what you want and need it to be. Whether it’s more about intimacy or steamy, sweaty action, sex is part of the self-care continuum.

Are you wondering why I’m stating this to be true? In my opinion, what better way to instill a positive image in oneself than when you’re feeling confident and sexy with your partner? Many of us refuse to see the beauty in ourselves – inside or out. Sex and intimacy and the amount we have – or not — is a direct measure of our self-esteem, confidence and self-caring.

When we care about ourselves, we care about our bodies, our well-being and our ability to please ourselves and our partner. That’s why when we don’t get enough of it, sex becomes a chore when “babymaking,” or it isn’t fulfilling our needs, it can put a crimp in our self-care regimen.

Want my advice? Crank up the air conditioning, grab that partner and have some fun together! Don’t have someone to share sexy times with? There’s nothing wrong with taking care of you. That’s what self-care is all about! Have a safe and sexy summer!

Today’s “sexy” author is Mollee Bauer, founder of pregnancy.org, the premier website for info, advice and support for pregnancy, new moms and early motherhood. To visit, click here.

May 2012 Self-Care Challenge Champions!

Since many of us (Stacey and I included) won’t be celebrating the 4th with fireworks because our dry, hot weather has turned the country into a fire hazard, we wanted to find an alternate way to celebrate. So, we decided to announce the winners of our May Self-Care Challenge!

No, we didn’t forget! But as many moms know, May and June are jam-packed and sometimes life gets in the way of our best intentions. Now that the madness has slowed down, we are excited to announce our winners although any woman who practices self-care is a winner to us.

1. Manicure courtesy of MamaSpace: Sue S.

2. Amazon.com gift card courtesy of Pregnancy.org: Angie L.

3. Books and t-shirt courtesy of Postpartum Support International: Mamingwa

4. Pedicure kit courtesy of Linda Meyer: Julie

Congratulations to each of you, not only for winning a prize, but for living self-care. And in spite of the heat, Happy 4th!

 

Stacey bravely does her motherly duties at DisneyWorld. Who knew Nemo was such a MAN? 😉

To Celebrate the 4th-Let’s Go Crazy

To celebrate the 4th we wanted to do something fun. Hope you enjoy this taste of crazy. Have a great holiday week and stay cool!

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity (from unknown online author):

1. Sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. Watch them slow down!

2.
On all your cheque stubs, write ‘ For Marijuana’

3.
Skip down the street rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

4. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

5. Sing along at the Opera.

6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I won! I won!’

7. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling ‘Run for your lives! They’re loose!’

8. Tell your children over dinner, ‘Due to the economy,
We are going to have to let one of you go.’


And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity

9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Send this to someone to make them smile.

It’s called …. THERAPY

Today’s post is dedicated to Chris W who always finds a way to smile and helps others do so too. Thanks for sending this to me. Happy 4th.