Category: Monday Musings

Read This for Holiday Stress Relief

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

The holidays are here with fun-filled and stress-filled times sandwiched together, not unlike raising children, work, marriage and other life pursuits. So, here are some recommendations to make the holidays calmer and happier.

First, have realistic expectations of yourself.  Many of us feel disappointed because our “fairytale images” don’t materialize. Instead, focus on feeling good from the inside out.  Build a fire and roast marshmallows, shop with a friend, or take a long walk in the woods.  Meditate, workout, read, or  listen to music.  Feed your soul.

Second, have realistic expectations of others.  No one’s family or friends are perfect, and the holidays won’t change this.  Since we can’t change them, we need to rely on ourselves to gather what’s positive and let go of the negative.  Create new family traditions so they don’t stir up bad memories.  If a situation becomes too negative, leave.

Likewise, don’t take relationship stress too personally.   If your partner snaps about household clutter because they’re stringing Christmas lights while baking cookies, understand it’s their problem.  Don’t let them take their bad mood out on you but don’t react poorly either.  After all, love is the true intention of the season and it starts with you.

Finally, if you need a gift for a pregnant or new mom,  preview our new book, Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide at http://www.realmomexperts.com.  It’s filled with great advice for surviving and thriving new motherhood and beyond.  You might enjoy it too!

It’s Cyber Monday-See If You’ve Won

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Press Release

True to our mission here at livingselfcare, Lauren and I took last week off to recharge and enjoy the holiday. Since today is Cyber Monday, we thought it would be fitting to announce the winners of our Nov.14-18 2011 Self-Care Challenge Contest.

Here they are:

dianne@femininefaceofmoney.com – $100 SpaWish certificate from Pregnancy.org

http://outoftheclearblue.wordpress.com – $25 Shutterfly Gift Certificate via Working Moms Against Guilt

melody.meiners@gmail.com – $25 Maternique Gift Certifiicate from Darline Turner-Lee of Mamas on Bedrest

starfish810@hotmail.com – Happy Family clothing & PSI Educational DVD via Postpartum Support International

felicia3@gmail.com– A copy of A Life’s Work by Rachel Cusk via Postpartum Progress

lisa07110@yahoo.com – Jewelry set via Mother to Mother Support

simply.homemade@yahoo.com– Deluxe Prize Basket from Real Mom Experts

Congratulations to all our winners! You’ll be contacted via email with additional details regarding how to claim your prizes.

Thank you again to all the wonderful Challenge Champions. We couldn’t have done it without you! Also, to all of you who participated in our weeklong self-care challenge. If you missed out, you can still go back to the posts and participate in the daily gratitude activities. Thankfulness is always timely and a great way to practice self-care.

Spread Gratitude in Your Heart and Beyond

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Last week, our theme for the self-care challenge was expressing gratitude and thankfulness. Many of you commented that you liked Friday’s challenge which was to send gratitude to others by “choosing someone you want to express thanks to for what they’ve done, who they are or what they mean to you. It can be someone you’re close to or someone you may have fallen out of touch with. Let your heart and soul decide.

Then message that person via e-mail or Facebook, text them, make a call or send a note. Once they receive your message, ask them to choose someone to express their gratitude towards and contact them. The goal is to connect as many people as possible with thankfulness and appreciation, keeping the true spirit of the season alive. Let’s see how many cities, states, and countries we can reach and how far our message can spread.”

Since Thanksgiving is Thursday, we hope you’ll make this a weeklong activity. Let family and friends know your gratitude for them. Perform random acts of kindness like smiling at the grocery clerk or saying “Hi” to a neighbor. When someone is thoughtful towards you, show them your appreciation. Did you know that when you are kind or someone is thoughtful towards you, it improves your and their health and mood?  It also has a positive influence on those observing.

Join us on twitter and Facebook for conversation and support in spreading an attitude of gratitude. Best to all of you!

Let the Challenge Begin-Express Gratitude Daily

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Welcome to Day 1 of the self-care challenge/contest. We’re glad you’re here. Our theme for the week will be expressing gratitude and thankfulness for all the aspects of our lives which enrich and nourish us.

To get started, choose a coin or personal item which will be your gratitude token for the week. Place it on your bedroom dresser or nightstand and when you wake up in the morning, think of 3 things you are grateful for and then place your token in your pocket or purse to carry with you. In the evening before you go to bed, think of 3 different things you are grateful for and then place your token back on your nightstand/dresser. Do this daily, expanding your list to include as many sources of thankfulness as you can.

If you’d prefer an online version of this activity, go to twitter and each morning list 3 things you’re thankful for and again in the evening with the hashtag #listof3 or on our Facebook page www.facebook.com/livingselfcare.
Sometimes, it helps to see what others are saying especially on the days when
your emotional pitcher is empty. It doesn’t have to be original for it to be meaningful and seeing others’ gratitude may help lift your spirit.

Tonight at 8:30pm EST join us on #ppdchat for “Self-Care, Gratitude, and Easing Holiday Stress.” Also, listen to our podcast about “Living the Self-Care Challenge” at http://ow.ly/7hkKZ  with @mamasonbedrest. Let’s have a great week supporting each other in living self-care. Our holiday gift to you!

Beat Holiday Stress-Join the Challenge!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Press Release

Before holiday stress overwhelms you, join our online self-care contest/challenge Nov.14-18. But wait you say, that’s still a week away. To begin flexing your self-care muscle, we’re offering tips starting today on how to replace holiday stress with inner peace and happiness. Follow us at www.twitter.com/realmomexperts  and www.facebook.com/livingselfcare for stress-busting advice.

Likewise our self-care challenge champions have pitched in to get this party started. Take a listen http://ow.ly/7hkKZ to @mamasonbedrest interview with me about livingselfcare. Visit www.pregnancy.org for their new look and updated info on motherhood and health. Visit www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com for support on “putting mommy guilt in its place.” Who couldn’t use some of that?

For moms struggling with postpartum emotional health challenges, we’ve got you covered too! Check out Postpartum Support International’s extensive website http://www.postpartum.net. Visit Katherine Stone’s amazing www.postpartumprogress.org and sign up for Daily Hope to lift your spirits. Listen to #ppdchat Mondays at 1pm EST and 8:30pm EST with Lauren Hale of mypostpartumvoice. You’ll be glad you did.

Here’s the contest part for this week. Visit any of the sites mentioned above, leave us a comment at www.livingselfcare.com and you’ll be entered in a drawing for a self-care treat. Nov.14-18 each self-care challenge champion will contribute a prize to a random drawing the end of the week. More info on that later.

So, flex your self-care muscle and get on board. Spread the news about the challenge to other women you know and love to help them feel better and beat holiday stress. Start today!

Self-care Can Be a Ghoulish Good Time!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

I’m not sure how many of you will read this today between finishing Halloween costumes, classroom parties, and trick-or-treating. Self-care may be limited to gobbling up candy from your child’s goodie bag. At least, that’s what I used to do.

It’s another reason we’ve designated Tuesday, Nov.1 as the start of self-care month, a chance for you to nourish yourself body-mind-heart and spirit. For this first week, reflect on what you do currently for self-care whether it’s healthy eating, exercise, prayer/meditation or visiting with friends. Notice how much time you devote to self-care and how you feel when you do.

What does your body feel like? What kind of thoughts do you have? How positive or negative are they? What thoughts and feelings do you have about yourself? How do you relate to others? How connected do you feel to your spirit/soul?

Then notice how you feel when you doggedly pursue your “to-do list” without stopping to refill your emotional pitcher. As we say in “Life Will Never Be the Same,” no woman is a bottomless pitcher and you can’t feel good when your pitcher is dry. It won’t happen no matter how hard you try.

Finally, notice the differences when you do and don’t practice self-care. Don’t make any changes, just be aware. If you have a journal, write them down.

Now, your incentive. If you go to www.facebook.com/livingselfcare and enter a comment on this week’s assignment, you’ll be entered in a random drawing for Godiva chocolates. Happy Halloween!

It Takes a Village. Spread the Word!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Last week I spoke in New Jersey about the importance of self-care during pregnancy and post-birth, but my conference highlight was visiting with three moms who’ve survived postpartum depression/anxiety/OCD who are trained to support other women going through it. There was a fourth mom there who offers support online but didn’t know any moms locally and these three embraced her like they would each other.

It reminded me again that we must be the ones to lead the charge to dispel society’s myths about motherhood and to ensure that all moms, whatever point of motherhood they’re at,  get the emotional health care they deserve. We must challenge our own biases about anxiety and depression, and accept them as “health conditions” just like heart disease or diabetes. We must accept that self-care is self-preserving and that women who make their emotional health a priority have more not less to give. As Laura Nash said beautifully, “You can’t give away what you don’t have.”

So, we’ve decided to declare November “Self-Care Month” with the self-care contest/challenge running from Nov.14-18. We think this is the time when women need to be most reminded to keep their emotional pitchers full with all  the season’s demands. Please get your friends, co-workers, moms, daughters, neighbors and all your female peeps to join us for fun and great giveaways.

Also special thanks to my friend Susan Ellis Murphy who mentors the SNJPC support moms and works tirelessly to ensure the health of SNJ moms.

Women, Hormones and Mood

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Did you know that women experience twice as much depression as men? Would that be because we’re more sensitive? I think not. The explanation which best fits is that we are more affected by hormonal shifts which influence our brain chemistry, particulary around times when our lives change dramatically-like pregnancy and post-birth.

In fact, 1 in 8 women will experience a clinical episode of depression, anxiety, etc. during pregnancy, postpartum and menopause, which is greater than the occurence of most health conditions. So, what will it take for emotional health to become an integral part of women’s health? Why aren’t women being routinely screened for mood and anxiety conditions? How can health conditions which have such a profound impact on developing families continue to be ignored?

I was having this conversation Friday with a local journalist and told him that women must lead the charge like we’ve done with breast cancer. We must come forward and share our stories to support each other in getting the help we need and deserve. We must be prepared to educate our health providers and make it clear that we expect to be cared for-body, mind, heart and soul. We must challenge our own biases about anxiety and depression, and accept them as “health conditions” just like heart disease or diabetes.

Ghandi said, “Become the change you want to see in the world.”

To learn more about hormones and mood, read Women’s Moods about pregnancy and postpartum, The Wisdom of Menopause, and visit www.womenshealth.gov.

The Magic of Fall: Persephone’s Journey

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

I was introduced to Persephone’s story a few years ago at a women’s retreat.  In Roman mythology, Persephone is the daughter of Demeter, Mother Earth, who leaves “the world above” to become Queen of the Underworld. While some versions say she was abducted by Hades and taken against her will, I prefer to believe that she left because she had outgrown living as a child in her mother’s garden and wanted to fulfill her unique destiny.

Have you ever felt a “calling” to step outside your familiar life and journey into the unknown, imagining that what lies ahead will help you become more fully who you are intended to be? Have you ever felt “shackled” by what others expect from you like Persephone who longed to be more than her mother’s daughter, conforming to her expectations? When the fall air tugs at your cheek and the trees shed their leaves, can you feel their sense of freedom and possibility, beckoning you to let go of what doesn’t serve you anymore?

This is the magic of fall. The time to release old beliefs and habits, and to sow the seeds of what we do want in our life so that when spring comes, we will be ready. Now, enjoy Mary Oliver’s “The Journey” which inspires us to pursue the life which is waiting for us like Persephone chose to do. You can do it too!

Contest Postponed: Taking Time for Self-Care

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Last week I was reviewing plans for the self-care contest/challenge with Mollee Bauer of pregnancy.org when we realized the contest needed additional planning to succeed, so I’m  postponing it from Oct.2-8 to Nov.14-18. Also, my emotional pitcher was nearing empty. As we often say,  you can’t give others what you don’t have so I gave myself a 3-day weekend to recharge.

This weekend, I haven’t done anything special. In fact, I haven’t done much at all. Truly nirvana. However, I wanted to share a few gifts with you since the contest/challenge is delayed. Here they are. First, the theme of the contest will be gratitude and thankfulness. Each day we’ll have an activity to complete which expresses our theme. Over the next few weeks, if you come up with an activity we use during the contest, you’ll win a box of Godiva chocolates. Please put your suggestions in the comment section of this or future posts.

Second, the following are links to other web resources for living self-care from several wonderful women I’ve met online and other articles/interviews I’ve  done recently.  For pregnancy and post-birth health, visit pregnancy.org. For self-care tips, listen to my podcast with Darline Turner of mamasonbedrest. Read about making motherhood work for you on totstoteensmagazine or look at my 7 Sanity-Saving Tips at babycenter.com. Good suggestions for anyone.

Don’t forget to send us a contest idea and remember, “Self-care is like chocolate, you can never have enough.”