Tag: life balance

“Mommy Entrepeneur’s Recipe for Divalysscious Success”-Part 2

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

As the owner of Divalysscious Moms, a luxury lifestyle company for mothers and families, and the mother of two young children (Jackson, 7, and Oliver, 4), I am frequently asked how I balance motherhood, business and “me” time.  Here are my recommended ingredients.

1. Children Come First. That means any emails or calls can wait until the children are settled. When your children feel secure, everything works better.

2. Prioritize. Start your work before your children wake. Lessen your pain with a jumbo cup of coffee!

3. Have a routine.  Having breakfast with my boys, taking them to school, eating together, reading and snuggle-time are crucial.

4.  Have a “Mommy Time Out”.   Moms who run their own businesses also need “time out.”  As they say if mom isn’t happy, no one is. Take ten minutes to meditate, get a massage, or phone a friend to rejuvenate and preserve your sanity.

5.  Delegate.  Being a mom and business owner gives you the right to delegate, which means surrounding yourself with a team of positive, dedicated, high energy people.  My husband is my biggest supporter. We both work, and we make our schedules coordinate with the kids’ as best we can. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! It’s always better than having a meltdown.

Follow these tips and you will be an uber Divalysscious Mom. Remember, making yourself a priority is not something to feel guilty about! Happy moms make happy kids.

Today’s author is Lyss Stern, founder and CEO of Divalysscious Moms. Also on Facebook and Twitter.

Running On Empty? Fill Up With Meditation and Godiva Chocolate

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

There are many ways to self-nourish. Two of our favorites are meditation and chocolate. The past three weeks, we’ve been following the Chopra Center’s 21-day summer meditation challenge, listening for one to share here. Last Wednesday it was on “Make Yourself A Priority” and we thought, “That’s the one.” Before meditating, the instructor spoke about how most people don’t take time for self-care and it struck us again how widespread this problem is.

Click on this link to listen- http://www.chopracentermeditation.com/bestsellers/Meditation_Summer/Meditation_Summer.asp?id=5861.

Now, for the chocolate. To celebrate our almost first birthday which is October 9, we’re sponsoring a contest for our current and new subscribers. Because we want our October self-care contest/challenge to be the best yet, we’re asking that any subscriber get ten other friends, family, co-workers, etc. to join our blog, and we’ll enter you in a random weekly drawing for a box of Godiva chocolates for the month of September.

Winners will be chosen each Sunday and announced the following Monday. If you’ve never tasted Godiva chocolates, you’re in for a treat and if you have, you know how irresistable they are. For any new subscriber you recruit, have them leave your name in our comment box so you get credit.

We’re also asking you to give us your recommendations for favorite woman-or-mom-related blogs and websites, so we can include them in the October contest/self-care challenge.  This will help ensure that we continue to provide what you want.

And remember, “Self-care is like chocolate, you can never have enough!”

“Mommy Entrepeneur’s Recipe for Divalysscious Success”-Part 1

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

As the owner of Divalysscious Moms, a luxury lifestyle company for mothers and families, and the mother of two young children (Jackson, 7, and Oliver, 4), I am frequently asked how I balance motherhood, owning/operating my own business and making “me” time.  While every successful mother and business owner has a unique routine that works for her, I like to give other mothers my “Divalysscious Tips,” the ingredients I recommend for “Mommy Entrepreneur Success.”

1. Your Children Come First. That means that any email and phone call can wait until the children are happy and settled. With today’s technology, everything seems urgent; however, it’s not. When your children feel secure, everything works better.

2. Prioritize. Start your work before your children wake up even if it means rising at 4:30am to answer e-mails, approve designs and do research. Lessen your pain with a jumbo cup of coffee!

3. Have a routine.  Having breakfast with my boys and taking them to school  crucial aspects of my daily life. Most nights, I put my Blackberry down so I can eat with them, bathe them, read to them and snuggle before bedtime. After they’re sleeping, I can finish up my work.

Follow these tips — adapting them to your life and family — and you will be an uber Divalysscious Mom. Remember, making yourself a priority is not something to feel guilty about! Happy moms make happy kids.

Today’s guest author is Lyss Stern, Founder and CEO of Divalysscious Moms. For more, follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Want To Win A Box of Godiva Chocolates: Read This

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Press Release

To celebrate our almost first birthday which is October 9, we’re sponsoring a contest for our current and new subscribers. Because we want our October self-care contest/challenge to succeed, we’re asking that any subscriber get ten other friends, family, co-workers, etc. to join our blog, and we’ll enter you in a random weekly drawing for a box of Godiva chocolates for the month of September.

Winners will be chosen each Sunday and announced the following Monday. If you’ve never tasted Godiva chocolates, you’re in for a treat and if you have, you know how irresistable they are. For any new subscriber you recruit, have them leave your name in our comment box so you get credit.

We’re also asking you to give us your recommendations for favorite woman-or-mom-related blogs and websites, so we can include them in the October contest/self-care challenge. While we’ve discovered many sites we think are terrific and worthwhile, the web is too vast for anyone (except possibly a search engine expert) to know what’s out there. This will help ensure that we provide what you want. Likewise, as much as we enjoy social media, we can’t quit our day jobs for endless web surfing.

Now our self-care tip for the week. Focus on those experiences which strengthen rather than weaken you. I realized this again, when I was having a massage and started to freak out about an upcoming interview. Instead of scaring myself, I thought about situations I’d survived despite my fears and felt much calmer.

Living Self-Care Goes Global

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Yesterday we got our first global subscriber from London. England has historically been a leader in providing humane treatment to women with postpartum depression/psychosis. Today, a clerk asked about our e-mail, “realmomexperts,” which led to a conversation about how she had stayed home with their children and her husband wondered why she was so tired. Now that their roles are reversed, he can’t understand how she got so much done.

Even moms-to-be are interested. Just this week an excerpt from our book on “Obstacles to Self-Care” was featured in The Expectant Mother’s Guide- http://www.expectantmothersguide.com/library/stlouis/obstacles-to-self-care.htm. Lack of self-care is a global epidemic among women of all ages, life stages, roles and vocations.

Here’s an exercise to reinforce the necessity of self-care:

Find a quiet place. Close your eyes. Practice breathing deeply, so slow that your abdomen rises and falls. For two minutes, repeat to yourself  with each exhaled breath: “Taking care of me benefits everyone around me.”

When you take care of yourself, are you filling your pitcher, building  your bank account, or recharging your batteries? Pick the metaphor that works  best for you. Picture that image in your head while you repeat the phrase.

Each time thoughts weasel into your head, chastising you that something  else is more important than taking time for you, take a deep breath and  practice this exercise. This may seem silly or strange at first. You may doubt  how this can work. Just try it for a few days before you judge its value.

Let’s Get REAL About Motherhood and Life

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Since we’ve been discussing the thoughts which bind us,  let’s review several myths about motherhood/life.  If you’re not a mom, substitute the word “women” and whatever situation pertains.

1. Myth: Good mothers never make mistakes. They always know the right thing to do. Reality: All mothers make mistakes. The trick is to learn from them and not wound yourself with guilt.

2. Myth: Motherhood is always bliss. Reality: Motherhood is likely to be the most challenging and rewarding experience you will ever know. Each woman will experience it in her unique way.

3. Myth: Motherhood is easy. You automatically know what to do. Reality: Being a “good enough” mom is hard work. It is a journey not a destination.

4. Myth: Good mothers sacrifice everything. Reality: No woman is a bottomless pitcher. You must replenish your resources regularly or your health will be compromised.

5. Myth: Motherhood is instinctual. Reality: Motherhood is a learning process. It is in the “doing” that you become a mother.

Sound daunting? Here’s one thought-changing strategy. Take any belief and ask yourself what’s the evidence that this is true? My personal favorite is #4. Take #4 and observe how you feel when you sacrifice everything? Martyrdom is rarely pretty and lessens the qualities, like patience and kindness, which make you a good mom/person. Then substitute the reality-based statement above which the evidence is likely to support.

Preview Chapter 6 of Life Will Never Be the Same for more ideas. The more you release judgemental thoughts, the better you’ll feel. For inspiration, click here.

Stop “Living in the Wreckage of the Future”

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Continuing our conversation about how to free ourselves from the unhealthy  thinking habits we’ve cultivated for years, today’s post is about how to stop “living in the wreckage of the future.”  This is a phrase one of my clients taught me from AA which is intended to help folks in recovery not “catastrophize” about what tomorrow will bring and live “one day at a time.”  In truth, none of us knows what’s ahead but we like to believe we do to experience a sense of control and predictability about life.

Mark Twain said, “Most of my life’s worst experiences never actually happened.”  This quote is about how many of our worst expectations and fears don’t materialize although we think about them so much that we frighten and worry ourselves as if they had.  Recall the last time you were convinced something bad would happen and it didn’t.  How did you feel?  Was there a sense of relief or not?  Often we’ve built up so much anticipatory anxiety, it still takes days to calm down.

A new day

Since August is often stressful as kids return to school and we leave summer behind, opportunity for “living in the wreckage of the future” looms large.  So, tell your “catastrophizing self” I appreciate your concern but what I really need  is for you to shut up.  While this isn’t easy, with practice it improves and we can rest in the awareness that the present moment is usually okay.

Free Yourself to Be Yourself: Mary Oliver’s “The Journey”

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

To continue the theme of examining your life from Monday’s post, we wanted to share a favorite poem “The Journey” by Mary Oliver in which she describes how ultimately we must abide by our “inner voice” if we are to survive. Imagine our delight when we discovered this is also Maria Shriver’s favorite poem which she presented for National Poetry Day at the 2011 Women’s Conference.

So sit back, relax (well maybe) and enjoy the following rendition of “The Journey.” Then let us know what you think. Is this too radical to imagine or not? If so, what may be standing in your way? What would it take to free yourself to be yourself?

“The Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living”

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  When asked to refrain from teaching this, he chose to end his life by drinking hemlock. For the last few weeks, this phrase keeps coming up in conversation which prompted me to write about it.

How does examining one’s life relate to self-care? Because part of self-care is learning to listen to our “inner voice” and become clear about who we are and what is truly nourishing. Not in a self-centered way but a self-respectful one. However, in today’s frenetic, “need to do one more thing” culture, we often don’t slow down and get quiet enough to hear what our “inner voice” is saying.

Likewise, it’s easier (and less painful) to lose ourselves in what we’re doing and what needs to be done than reflect on who we are and what we may need to change to create our best life. For example, someone who is in an unhappy marriage may focus their attention and energy on their children to protect them from knowing how miserable they are. Or a woman who has a demanding parent may exhaust herself trying to appease them rather than look at her own co-dependent need to be needed.

When we choose self-care, we send a message to ourselves that we are important and that our health-body, mind, heart and soul, is a priority. We quiet the noise of other voices and instead attend to own. Dangerous yes, but totally worthwhile!

What do you think???

Even More Benefits of Self-Care

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Self-Care Makes Us a Better Role Model:  By
modeling self-care, we are setting a good example for our children.  Watching us take time to care for our own health and well-being, encourages them to do the same and helps them learn to practice self-care when they are young.
Our daughters in particular learn that it is important to care for themselves as well as they do others instead of sacrificing their health and well-being to
solely meeting others’ needs.  It teaches both our sons and daughters self-respect and to be respectful of everyone because we expect them to value us as we do ourselves.

In Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide we say, “A pitcher of water provides a clear demonstration of what we mean. Imagine that you are a pitcher of water.  You keep pouring out, giving and giving as you take care of the needs of those around you: baby, children, partner, family, friends and pets. If you do not take action to fill the pitcher up again, pretty soon it will be empty.  No one is a bottomless pitcher. What do you need in order to fill up the pitcher again?”

What are you doing this summer for self-care?  If you’re aren’t, get started. Rabbi Hillel said, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me.  If I am only for myself, what am I?  If not now, when?”  Need help?  Comment and we’ll respond.