Tag: LIfe Will Never Be The Same

Doing A Good Deed for Each Other-Priceless

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

With the focus on gift-giving during the holidays, we sometimes forget that one of the most precious gifts we can share is doing something kind or thoughtful for each other. Today’s activity is to do a good deed for a family member or friend to express your gratitude for them being a part of your life.

There are three guidelines for this activity. First, choose something which you know your family member/friend would appreciate even if it’s different than what you want to do for them. An example, my mom asked me to help clean her closet for her holiday gift and while I’d much rather run an errand, make her a meal or buy her a present, that’s not what she wants from me.

Second, it must come from the heart and be done in the spirit of generosity. Doing it in a begrudging or resentful way is not the intention of today’s challenge. Remember, this is a “gift” for someone you love. Third, it can’t cost anything. Giving your time and attention to your family and friends is truly more valuable than anything money can buy.

Finally, consider making this an activity for the whole family. It’s a great way to express an attitude of gratitude toward all those you love.

Today’s inspiration: “It is only through the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince.

Let the Challenge Begin-Express Gratitude Daily

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Welcome to Day 1 of the self-care challenge/contest. We’re glad you’re here. Our theme for the week will be expressing gratitude and thankfulness for all the aspects of our lives which enrich and nourish us.

To get started, choose a coin or personal item which will be your gratitude token for the week. Place it on your bedroom dresser or nightstand and when you wake up in the morning, think of 3 things you are grateful for and then place your token in your pocket or purse to carry with you. In the evening before you go to bed, think of 3 different things you are grateful for and then place your token back on your nightstand/dresser. Do this daily, expanding your list to include as many sources of thankfulness as you can.

If you’d prefer an online version of this activity, go to twitter and each morning list 3 things you’re thankful for and again in the evening with the hashtag #listof3 or on our Facebook page www.facebook.com/livingselfcare.
Sometimes, it helps to see what others are saying especially on the days when
your emotional pitcher is empty. It doesn’t have to be original for it to be meaningful and seeing others’ gratitude may help lift your spirit.

Tonight at 8:30pm EST join us on #ppdchat for “Self-Care, Gratitude, and Easing Holiday Stress.” Also, listen to our podcast about “Living the Self-Care Challenge” at http://ow.ly/7hkKZ  with @mamasonbedrest. Let’s have a great week supporting each other in living self-care. Our holiday gift to you!

One Hero’s Journey-Part 2

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

When I became a mother, I hadn’t felt more alone and isolated in my entire life. It floored me. I had postpartum depression and anxiety but didn’t know it. I was on maternity leave, recovering slowly and painfully from a C-section. Add to that the approaching brutal Northeast winter, and isolation was unavoidable.

After the longest, hardest winter, literally and metaphorically, I found Postpartum Progress and Living Self-Care. Then I discovered #ppdchat on Twitter. I started reading blogs written by women like me, only they weren’t afraid to share their stories and I was. I didn’t know I would soon be blogging myself and how much that would influence my recovery and change my life.

Reading about PPD from those women’s viewpoints corrected the course of my PPD journey.  Each day, the isolation and loneliness melted away and I headed in a new, better direction. I found solace in those voices, belonging to women I didn’t know but to whom I felt so connected. Those women described the same things I’d been feeling—things I thought were happening to only me.

From the bottom of my heart, if you’re blogging about your perinatal mood or anxiety disorder, thank you. If you’re sharing it with your family, friends, neighbors, doctors, thank you. If you’re reading this blog, thank you. It might not seem like much but sharing your story changes lives. You’re creating awareness. You’re creating a village where women can find refuge.

Today’s author is Jamie Harker. Follow her at www.jamesandjax.com.

Beat Holiday Stress-Join the Challenge!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Press Release

Before holiday stress overwhelms you, join our online self-care contest/challenge Nov.14-18. But wait you say, that’s still a week away. To begin flexing your self-care muscle, we’re offering tips starting today on how to replace holiday stress with inner peace and happiness. Follow us at www.twitter.com/realmomexperts  and www.facebook.com/livingselfcare for stress-busting advice.

Likewise our self-care challenge champions have pitched in to get this party started. Take a listen http://ow.ly/7hkKZ to @mamasonbedrest interview with me about livingselfcare. Visit www.pregnancy.org for their new look and updated info on motherhood and health. Visit www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com for support on “putting mommy guilt in its place.” Who couldn’t use some of that?

For moms struggling with postpartum emotional health challenges, we’ve got you covered too! Check out Postpartum Support International’s extensive website http://www.postpartum.net. Visit Katherine Stone’s amazing www.postpartumprogress.org and sign up for Daily Hope to lift your spirits. Listen to #ppdchat Mondays at 1pm EST and 8:30pm EST with Lauren Hale of mypostpartumvoice. You’ll be glad you did.

Here’s the contest part for this week. Visit any of the sites mentioned above, leave us a comment at www.livingselfcare.com and you’ll be entered in a drawing for a self-care treat. Nov.14-18 each self-care challenge champion will contribute a prize to a random drawing the end of the week. More info on that later.

So, flex your self-care muscle and get on board. Spread the news about the challenge to other women you know and love to help them feel better and beat holiday stress. Start today!

One Hero’s Journey-Part 1

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Recently, I wrote about having attended the Southern New Jersey Perinatal Cooperative’s conference on perinatal mood disorders. A few weeks later, I am still carrying in my heart everything I felt that day, which ranged from nervous anticipation to love, respect, encouragement, and support.

I drove to the conference in the pouring rain, excited to be in the same room with Katherine Stone, Diane Sanford, and my therapist, Michelle. Those three women helped me so much when I had postpartum depression and anxiety for nearly 2 years. I credit Katherine and Diane with giving me the courage and strength to seek help in the first place, and I credit Michelle with providing me the exact compassionate care I needed but almost didn’t reach out for.

But you know who else I credit? All of the women I’ve come to know online who are creating with me a village just by opening up and talking about what we’ve gone through (or are still going through). This journey isn’t easy, and if you’re reading this, you surely know that already. It is long and grueling and, at first, so very lonely. But you aren’t alone. You have a village. You just need directions to it. And websites like this one provide a map.

Today’s guest author is Jamie of www.jamesandjax.com. One of the true heroes who’s building a village of support for PPD moms through her courage and honesty.

For info about PPD, listen to the Sept.9 podcast @mamasonbedrest with Diane Sanford.

Part 2:

Self-care Can Be a Ghoulish Good Time!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

I’m not sure how many of you will read this today between finishing Halloween costumes, classroom parties, and trick-or-treating. Self-care may be limited to gobbling up candy from your child’s goodie bag. At least, that’s what I used to do.

It’s another reason we’ve designated Tuesday, Nov.1 as the start of self-care month, a chance for you to nourish yourself body-mind-heart and spirit. For this first week, reflect on what you do currently for self-care whether it’s healthy eating, exercise, prayer/meditation or visiting with friends. Notice how much time you devote to self-care and how you feel when you do.

What does your body feel like? What kind of thoughts do you have? How positive or negative are they? What thoughts and feelings do you have about yourself? How do you relate to others? How connected do you feel to your spirit/soul?

Then notice how you feel when you doggedly pursue your “to-do list” without stopping to refill your emotional pitcher. As we say in “Life Will Never Be the Same,” no woman is a bottomless pitcher and you can’t feel good when your pitcher is dry. It won’t happen no matter how hard you try.

Finally, notice the differences when you do and don’t practice self-care. Don’t make any changes, just be aware. If you have a journal, write them down.

Now, your incentive. If you go to www.facebook.com/livingselfcare and enter a comment on this week’s assignment, you’ll be entered in a random drawing for Godiva chocolates. Happy Halloween!

Women’s Roles as Broadcasters for Self-Care Awareness

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Last week Pregnancy.org wrote a blog post about GiulianaRancic and her new battle with breast cancer. Giuliana’s a great example of how you can start with one situation (IVF treatments) and end up discovering you have a new condition (breast cancer). She found this out because she practices self-care. Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, I feel this is an appropriate connection into Diane’s post about, “It takes a Village…”  to make self-care happen!

We have a sacred duty to ourselves to get the word out, to support each other, to make sure our friends, families, and loved ones take care of themselves. We must take the time to participate in and spread the wordabout self-care. We need our women friends onboard the “self-care train.” Guiliana went on the Today Show to spread her message of the importance of self-care. While she can get the word out a lot faster as a celebrity, you don’t need to have celebrity status to get the word out. All you need to have is the desire to care.

November will be “Self-Care Month,” complete with a contest and challenge. When the days are dark and dreary, you don’t have to be! Self-care will guide you! Wishing all of you a wonderful holiday season coming up!

Today’s author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves and advice on how to take care of themselves to help them conquer their challenges and overcome self-care obstacles.

It Takes a Village. Spread the Word!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Last week I spoke in New Jersey about the importance of self-care during pregnancy and post-birth, but my conference highlight was visiting with three moms who’ve survived postpartum depression/anxiety/OCD who are trained to support other women going through it. There was a fourth mom there who offers support online but didn’t know any moms locally and these three embraced her like they would each other.

It reminded me again that we must be the ones to lead the charge to dispel society’s myths about motherhood and to ensure that all moms, whatever point of motherhood they’re at,  get the emotional health care they deserve. We must challenge our own biases about anxiety and depression, and accept them as “health conditions” just like heart disease or diabetes. We must accept that self-care is self-preserving and that women who make their emotional health a priority have more not less to give. As Laura Nash said beautifully, “You can’t give away what you don’t have.”

So, we’ve decided to declare November “Self-Care Month” with the self-care contest/challenge running from Nov.14-18. We think this is the time when women need to be most reminded to keep their emotional pitchers full with all  the season’s demands. Please get your friends, co-workers, moms, daughters, neighbors and all your female peeps to join us for fun and great giveaways.

Also special thanks to my friend Susan Ellis Murphy who mentors the SNJPC support moms and works tirelessly to ensure the health of SNJ moms.

What’s Missing?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

You’re making an effort to take better care of yourself. Say you’re having a good week: you’ve exercised, eaten nutritious meals, and maybe even had a spa day. Great job!

Is something still…missing? We forget that we are by nature, spiritual beings. We are a spirit (that essence of life and divinity that makes us who we are) in a body (flesh & bones) possessing a soul (mind, will, emotions). However, we often forget this .

So how do we activate and nurture our spirituality? Motherhood is one tough job – no doubt about it. Sometimes our faith is the only thing that will get us through. Here are some easy ways to integrate spirituality in our daily lives:

• Prayer & meditation- we can speak or write them in a journal. It doesn’t have to be fancy. We can pray silently when brushing our teeth, driving, or even changing a diaper. Many chores don’t require a great deal of concentration. This is an excellent time to contemplate and recite prayers/reflections that apply to our challenges.
• Reading- spending a few moments in the morning or before bedtime reading inspirational material from the Bible and other sources can bring much needed guidance and peace to our lives.
• Spiritual retreats & worship services- others can teach us, inspire us, and give us greater perspective.

Keeping it simple can ensure an active and productive spiritual life. Mommie Kate offers tips and encouragement for busy moms at Practical Faith For Everyday Life.

Women, Hormones and Mood

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Did you know that women experience twice as much depression as men? Would that be because we’re more sensitive? I think not. The explanation which best fits is that we are more affected by hormonal shifts which influence our brain chemistry, particulary around times when our lives change dramatically-like pregnancy and post-birth.

In fact, 1 in 8 women will experience a clinical episode of depression, anxiety, etc. during pregnancy, postpartum and menopause, which is greater than the occurence of most health conditions. So, what will it take for emotional health to become an integral part of women’s health? Why aren’t women being routinely screened for mood and anxiety conditions? How can health conditions which have such a profound impact on developing families continue to be ignored?

I was having this conversation Friday with a local journalist and told him that women must lead the charge like we’ve done with breast cancer. We must come forward and share our stories to support each other in getting the help we need and deserve. We must be prepared to educate our health providers and make it clear that we expect to be cared for-body, mind, heart and soul. We must challenge our own biases about anxiety and depression, and accept them as “health conditions” just like heart disease or diabetes.

Ghandi said, “Become the change you want to see in the world.”

To learn more about hormones and mood, read Women’s Moods about pregnancy and postpartum, The Wisdom of Menopause, and visit www.womenshealth.gov.