We don’t usually post on Saturday but I wanted to share this very special video with all of you for Mother’s Day. It was made for our Missouri phone support program, Mother to Mother by students from Ladue High School in St.Louis and words can’t describe how touching it is. So, get the kleenex out and for all you do, this is for you.
Click on “What Is A Mother” to see this amazing video. A true gift to moms.
This is one of our favorite videos about motherhood. Since Wednesday’s post was on loosening the bonds of self-criticism, it seemed fitting to consider all the things that moms do each day which go unrecognized. It’s exhausting to think about but deserving of our attention.
Instead of putting ourselves down, we need to remember to pat ourselves on the back whether anyone else does. To appreciate all our hard work which keeps our families going. But it’s Friday, so for now have fun with this YouTube video and take some me-time this weekend.
I was teaching a self-care class on Wednesday to hair stylists, who certainly do their share of counseling, when one commented she’d seen this great sign, “Laughter is an instant vacation.” I agree wholeheartedly so when my younger daughter sent me this cat picture a few months ago, I saved it for when I need a good laugh and decided this week to share it with you. Hope this tickles your funny bone.
May “the force” of laughter be with you. Enjoy your weekend!
Here are some additional thoughts on how to renew ourselves and release old, worn thoughts and habits. Spring cleaning from the inside out.
Discover what’s nourishing. Just as plants need water and sunshine to grow, we need physical, emotional, and spiritual sustenance. Start with eating healthy foods, getting regular physical activity, sleeping 8-9 hours, and taking breaks for your mind and body. Do one thing you enjoy daily, whether it’s phoning a friend, listening to music or walking your dog. Nurture your spirit through prayer, meditation, or communing with nature.
Let go of un-nourishing relationships. Being honest about admitting and detaching from relationships which aren’t good anymore can still hurt especially ones involving family and long-term friends. If we’ve spoken to them about what needs to be different and things haven’t changed over time, release them with love. Clearing space for nourishing relationships to enter.
Cultivate optimism. Looking more on the “sunny” side of life can be learned by shifting attention away from negative thoughts to more positive ones. There are few situations which are all good or all bad. Our great job may sour when we get a new boss. An untimely move lead to a wonderful neighborhood with friends with love. Prune your mind of unnecessary negativity.
Practice gratitude.
When we feel grateful, our souls are nourished and restored. We have a more positive attitude toward today and what lies ahead. We feel connected to something bigger than ourselves. Supported in the deepest sense. Abundant and alive.
Something happened when I became a mother.
I became disconnected from my thoughts, feelings and desires. With two little people depending on me, I spent my time on their needs and wants. When I wasn’t taking care of them, I shifted my attention to my work, husband and home life. Then, back to the kids.
Gone were the childfree days of college and young professional life, when I would spend hours alone, contemplating my place in the world, journaling (oh, the journals I have filled!), taking long walks in the woods, imagining life’s possibilities and going after them one by one.
As a mom, my only times alone with my thoughts have been 10 minutes in the shower or commuting to work. And guess what I was thinking? “Man, this shower feels good” or “I really hate this $#&@ing traffic.” Deep stuff.
Perhaps because my almost-5-year-old is more independent and my 19-month-old is no longer a baby, I’m now emerging from the mom-cocoon. It also helps that I work for myself, from home, with child care. As I poke my head (antennae?) out, I’m looking around saying, “What about me? What do I want?”
I’m allowing myself to move up my priority list. How do I want to spend my time? What do I want to experience or accomplish? It’s exciting to ponder these questions. I’m still a mom, with all the responsibilities and joys that come with it. But I’m also a person — who’s enjoying getting reacquainted with herself again.
Today’s author Susan is co-founder of Working Moms Against Guilt.
Spring is in the air. As the days get longer and the weather warms, we feel a growing urge to refresh and renew our lives. The blossoming season brings with it the opportunity to release what we’ve held on to mentally or emotionally, which no longer fits. Spring cleaning indeed.
Clearing away old beliefs. Just like our physical space, our minds are often cluttered with wornout beliefs and ideas. In cognitive therapy, clients learn to monitor their negative beliefs and refute them. If someone grew up being criticized, they may have the belief “I’m no good”. As an adult however, they may have a successful career or be a caring parent, evidence that this belief is not true. Changing automatic assumptions is empowering and liberating.
Sow the seeds of intention: Step One. Along with releasing negative thoughts, we must clarify what we want. Why is this challenging? First, our minds chatter constantly over urgent but not important matters. Like what we said that offended someone we hardly know or putting the laundry away. Instead, we need to quiet our “monkey mind” through prayer, meditation and relaxation. Stillness allows connection with our deeper selves.
Sow the seeds of intention: Step Two. When our mind is still, we see more clearly how we want to live. Then during our daily meditation/prayer, we can set our intentions for serenity, peaceful relationships, health, etc., allowing our intention and energy to flow in the direction we desire. Creating the life we want one day at a time.
Here are the final four steps in assertive communication. Hopefully, these will help with both speaking up and listening.
Next week we’ll be discussing the new 7-week self-care challenge starting March 21. If you participated in our October 21-day self-care challenge, we’d appreciate your comments and ideas on how to improve your experience.
Have you noticed lately there’s a lot of news about the chemistry of relationships? I love to think about the reaction between our bodies, brains, and feelings. I was talking to my teenage son about this and he said, “Isn’t that meta-chemistry? How people react to each other? Like metaphysics, only between people.” Yeah, like that.
New research shows that serotonin dips when you feel like you “can’t get enough” of a new love. Dopamine increases in love, which makes you feel just oh so good! Oxytocin, the “cuddle chemical,” not only helps us birth a baby, but it helps us bond and want monogamy, while testosterone makes us want sex. It’s easy to say that women are one way and men are the other, but intimacy doesn’t work well if we forget that men are emotional beings and women are sexual. Thank goodness that metachemistry helps us remember.
Chemistry is also at work when you’re anxious or angry, and your brain, heart, and adrenal system pump out a virtual fireworks display of chemicals. If you can remember that when it’s happening, you might not have to lash out, freak out, or run away. That’s easier when you’ve been taking care of yourself.
Just as stress builds up, self-care and relationship-care add up too, both for the heart that beats in your body and the heart that holds your love. Now, that’s metachemistry!
Today’s author is Wendy Davis, Postpartum Support International (PSI) Program Director.
Totally forgot about V-Day until last week’s post was done. Since this month’s theme is healthy relationships, here’s what poet e.e.cummings says about love.
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
But who is he referring to? A lover, spouse, child, parent or cherished friend? Those we hold most dear in our lives who remain with us in spirit wherever they are. What is most important is that we are loving towards our loved ones even when we feel angry, frustrated, disappointed, or unhappy with something they’ve done. This is what is meant by unconditional love.
Wayne Dyer recounts how he and his wife decided after having the same fight over and over, “It is more important to be kind than be right”. Let’s keep that in mind in all our relationships, carrying each other’s hearts gently with the utmost care.
This month we’ve talked about how to make self-care changes which will stick, and how to appreciate the blessings of everyday life which is self-care in practice. While we’ve heard these ideas before, it’s “doing” them that’s challenging.
To summarize what we’ve said about making self-care part of our daily routine:
Now, for the big picture. Self-care is not just a set of skills we practice, it’s an attitude for how we view and approach our lives. With all life’s ups and downs, even in a single 24 hours, there’s much to be appreciated. Often it’s in the small things-sunshine, our children’s smiles, flowers budding in spring or a kind word. When we put our attention on life’s abundance, we feel loved and cared for.
Buddha said, “If we could see the miracle of a single flower, our whole life would change.” Embrace this year with wonder and positive intention. Be grateful for all that is and all that is yet to be. Self-care is a path to health, happiness and awakening the soul. Let’s journey well together.
drdianesanford.com 