The Miracle of Everyday Life

Each January, we resolve to change ourselves and our ways so this year will be better than the year before.  We plan to be more organized, more motivated, more disciplined.  Always ” more,” and when we don’t succeed, we feel unhappy, inadequate and disappointed.  While goals are desirable, the miracle of everyday life is equally important.

Buddha  said, “Each morning we are born again.  What we do today is what matters most.”  Life occurs in the present.  If our gaze is too much on the future or in the past, we lose the chance to experience the abundance life offers.

I remember when my daughters were in elementary school and would burst in the door, chattering about the day.  Sometimes, I would listen.  Other times, I was occupied with work or making dinner, and wouldn’t  pay much attention.  I recall the disappointment on their faces when they saw I wasn’t interested.  Likewise, I recall how much I missed those chances during middle school and high school when it was far more important that they speak to their friends than me.

Now when they’re around and want to talk, I stop and listen.  At 18 and 22, they may not be around much longer.  I savor our moments together, and know it’s what matters most.  Buddha also said, “If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.”  Look for the miracle each day brings.  It’s right in front of us waiting to be found.

Diane's daughters

Scheduling Self-Care

I spent 2010 in a new-mom fog, topped off with postpartum depression. It seemed the day my son was born, I forgot how to care for myself as I learned to care for him. Now that I’m recovered from PPD and the shock of new parenthood, this year I’m refocusing on myself.

In 2011, I plan to spend less time on laundry and dusting and more time taking a bubble bath and reading a book.  Less time overscheduled, angry, and worried and more time playing, giggling, and snuggling.

But how can this be accomplished without neglecting my obligations? I hear so many mothers ask themselves and each other this.  Ironically, I feel the answer is  scheduling—relax, it’s the good kind! Grab your calendar and pick one date each week to devote 2 hours (or a whole evening if you can) to doing something JUST FOR YOU. I’m not talking about an hour online replying to emails! I mean a shopping trip for a new (maybe impractical) pair of shoes or a solo trip to the local coffeehouse with your favorite novel or best friend. If you have children,

Real Mom James with Jax

the minute you have your dates selected for the month, grab your phone and plan your childcare for the entire month. Trust me, this will keep you accountable!

Simple enough, right?  To nurture others, you must first nurture yourself.

Today’s author is James of James & Jax, a blog about discovering her new self after becoming a mom.

Simple Strategies For Self-Care

Think you don’t have the time or money to pamper yourself? Not to worry… I want to share some ways I squeeze in inexpensive “quickies” to nurture myself. Utilize 5-15 minute increments sprinkled throughout the day to take care of yourself while taking care of everything and everyone else.

  1. Flavor your coffee with fancy creamer BEFORE the rest of the family awakes. Read something uplifting or humorous to start the day on a positive note.
  2. If your children are jumping on that last nerve, put yourself in time out. For 3-5 minutes breathe deeply then hum a happy tune.
  3. Bathe young children during the day. While they’re playing in the water, read a novel or catch up on your favorite blogs on a laptop/smart phone right there in the bathroom.  It’s also an excellent opportunity for a facial scrub/mask or to paint fingernails (one thin coat of light iridescent pink dries fast and chips are less noticeable).
  4. Utilize kids’ nap time for craft projects, a good movie, or a nap yourself. Resist the urge to do chores. Resting IS productive.
  5. Time/childcare permitting, make a date with yourself. Spend an hour or two visiting the library, coffee shop, salon, or art galleries-whatever you enjoy.
  6. Monitor and eliminate negative self-talk. Speak kindly to yourself. Challenges are just opportunities to find another way.
Photobucket
Real woman Mommie Kate

Each day, be good to yourself. You’re worth it! Today’s author is Mommie Kate who offers tips and encouragement for busy moms at Practical Faith for Everyday Life.

New Year for a New You

There’s always the classic “Top 10” list for resolutions: 1. More time with
family and friends; 2. Fitness; 3. Tame the bulge; 4. Quit smoking; 5. Enjoy life more; 6. Quit drinking; 7. Get out of debt; 8. Learn  something new; 9. Help others; and lastly: 10. Get organized. What seems to be missing from this list? Self-care! Granted some of these “Top 10” touch on the concept of self-care, but what does it really mean to create a “new you” and stick with it all year round? What are you going to do to make sure you break your bad habits and take care of yourself more and really mean it?

Real woman Mollee Bauer of pregnancy.org

Last time I touched on how self-care should be a revolution. I still believe that whole-heartedly. Taking time out of your day to meditate, laugh a bit,  eat right, do for yourself first, even smile with yourself, is crucial to being a productive and happy woman. It’s a new year – a clean slate – let’s fill that slate with powerful and beneficial actions of self-care! Find a tip or two on this site! You won’t be sorry!

At  www.pregnancy.org, we’re in a similar business. We give women the tools to not only empower themselves, to feel safe and secure but also advice on how to take care of themselves, pamper themselves, and make certain they have the tools necessary to meet each daily  challenge.

Today’s guest author is  Mollee Bauer,  Founder & General Manager of www.pregnancy.org.

Three steps to teachable holiday moments

The holidays often sucks us into the gimmes, just like our kids, as we make the holidays happen. We easily lose track of the underlying message of the season for our kids. Consider these focused activities to reconnect with the holiday lessons:

1) CHOOSE actively, in line with your values. Stop and consider what you want to teach about the holiday season. You might want to say no if an event is too commercial, or detracts from planned family time. It’s fine to focus on fun–and opt out if an event is more drudgery or duty than pleasure. This is your holiday, too, and you have the right to celebrate it in a way that is meaningful and enjoyable for you. What a good example for your children!

2) INVOLVE everyone in the process of giving, helping small children pick out toys for the holiday toy drive, donate from their piggy banks to the bell ringer at the grocery, or make macaroni necklaces for favorite aunts or sitters. Older children might perform a chore, or sing/perform on an instrument for neighbors, visiting family, or residents of a senior living community.

3) READ one book about your spiritual perspective and traditions nightly. Every library has a children’s librarian eager to suggest new (or old favorite) titles. On the subject of reading, consider a classic book as a gift each year. Building a personal library for a child fosters a lifelong love of reading, one value to focus on that continues throughout the year.

No Time for Exercise? How Moms Are Making It

Today's Real Mom Author, Becky from CafeMom

As a mom, I know first-hand that time for exercise is one of the hardest aspects of self-care. Between caring for our children, working, and keeping up with family, friends, and the house, moms find it’s close to impossible to find time to stay in shape. I’m often inspired by the moms in CafeMom’s Healthy Weight Loss group, who find unique ways to fit exercise into busy lives. These moms aren’t just sneaking off to the gym; they’re teaching their kids to make exercise part of their lives, too. We have moms doing Zumba in their living rooms with their kids, moms in our Running Moms group taking their kids out for a run in their jogging strollers, and moms using technology to support each other and keep each other motivated.

It’s clear to me that many moms on CafeMom are committed to more than just losing their baby bumps; they’re truly embracing exercise and healthy living because they know that being fit and active will make them better parents. Personally, I jog regularly with my son, take swimming classes with him at a local pool, and chase him on the playground. He’s an extremely active toddler and gives me a better workout than I could get at a gym!

CafeMom has great support groups for moms interested in weight loss or healthy lifestyles. Check out Healthy Moms and Healthy Weight Loss to learn more.
–Becky from CafeMom

Press Release: Still Time to Join 21 Day Self-Care Challenge

Thirteen days into the 21 Day Self-Care Challenge, and the response is amazing. On the initial day of the challenge, nearly 800 viewers visited this LIVING Self-Care blog. The average number of visitors per day to date is 340. The message is spreading across the web, as the list of friends and supporting organizations continues to expand.

It’s not too late to join the 21 Day Self-Care Challenge! Check out the daily tips, beginning on Day one. Or  choose a tip that works for you, jumping from Day 2 to 8 to 6. Work at your pace. Skip the parts that don’t resonate, and repeat the activities that really light you up. Invite your friends and loved ones. Ann Dunnewold, Ph.D., and Diane Sanford, Ph.D., co-authors of Life Will Never Be The Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide simply hope to inspire women to put themselves on the list, developing a lasting habit to support well-being.

Join with Challenge Champions such as Postpartum Progress, Cafe Mom, and Postpartum Support International in supporting this effort to change the lives of women. Don’t miss the insightful, touching comments and conversation about the impact of the daily tips on real women of all ages and life stations.

Finally, rally to the call for photos and videos! Contribute these as a way to make your presence known in this landmark event. Don’t delay and miss being included–send those today to ann[at]realmomexperts.com . For more information about joining as a Challenge Champion, email realmomexperts[at]gmail.com.

And thanks for joining us!

 

Calling all REAL WOMEN!

Are you joining with us for the upcoming 21 day self-care challenge? Want to show your true colors, a woman in the trenches LIVING self-care?

We’d love to feature photos of real women who are tackling this exciting endeavor with us. Pictures speak volumes! We will be sharing photos of the women who are participating, one photo per day. Just another way to help you connect to the thousands of other women linking arms to learn this skill and enhance their lives as part of Mental Health Week. You are in on a landmark event–share your smiles!

If you wish to have your photo considered for inclusion, please email a jpeg directly to ann{at}realmomexperts.com. By submitting your photo, you are giving permission for its use on this blog. Thanks for joining us!