Tag: self care tips for women

Beat Holiday Stress-Join the Challenge!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Press Release

Before holiday stress overwhelms you, join our online self-care contest/challenge Nov.14-18. But wait you say, that’s still a week away. To begin flexing your self-care muscle, we’re offering tips starting today on how to replace holiday stress with inner peace and happiness. Follow us at www.twitter.com/realmomexperts  and www.facebook.com/livingselfcare for stress-busting advice.

Likewise our self-care challenge champions have pitched in to get this party started. Take a listen http://ow.ly/7hkKZ to @mamasonbedrest interview with me about livingselfcare. Visit www.pregnancy.org for their new look and updated info on motherhood and health. Visit www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com for support on “putting mommy guilt in its place.” Who couldn’t use some of that?

For moms struggling with postpartum emotional health challenges, we’ve got you covered too! Check out Postpartum Support International’s extensive website http://www.postpartum.net. Visit Katherine Stone’s amazing www.postpartumprogress.org and sign up for Daily Hope to lift your spirits. Listen to #ppdchat Mondays at 1pm EST and 8:30pm EST with Lauren Hale of mypostpartumvoice. You’ll be glad you did.

Here’s the contest part for this week. Visit any of the sites mentioned above, leave us a comment at www.livingselfcare.com and you’ll be entered in a drawing for a self-care treat. Nov.14-18 each self-care challenge champion will contribute a prize to a random drawing the end of the week. More info on that later.

So, flex your self-care muscle and get on board. Spread the news about the challenge to other women you know and love to help them feel better and beat holiday stress. Start today!

One Hero’s Journey-Part 1

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Recently, I wrote about having attended the Southern New Jersey Perinatal Cooperative’s conference on perinatal mood disorders. A few weeks later, I am still carrying in my heart everything I felt that day, which ranged from nervous anticipation to love, respect, encouragement, and support.

I drove to the conference in the pouring rain, excited to be in the same room with Katherine Stone, Diane Sanford, and my therapist, Michelle. Those three women helped me so much when I had postpartum depression and anxiety for nearly 2 years. I credit Katherine and Diane with giving me the courage and strength to seek help in the first place, and I credit Michelle with providing me the exact compassionate care I needed but almost didn’t reach out for.

But you know who else I credit? All of the women I’ve come to know online who are creating with me a village just by opening up and talking about what we’ve gone through (or are still going through). This journey isn’t easy, and if you’re reading this, you surely know that already. It is long and grueling and, at first, so very lonely. But you aren’t alone. You have a village. You just need directions to it. And websites like this one provide a map.

Today’s guest author is Jamie of www.jamesandjax.com. One of the true heroes who’s building a village of support for PPD moms through her courage and honesty.

For info about PPD, listen to the Sept.9 podcast @mamasonbedrest with Diane Sanford.

Part 2:

Self-care Can Be a Ghoulish Good Time!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

I’m not sure how many of you will read this today between finishing Halloween costumes, classroom parties, and trick-or-treating. Self-care may be limited to gobbling up candy from your child’s goodie bag. At least, that’s what I used to do.

It’s another reason we’ve designated Tuesday, Nov.1 as the start of self-care month, a chance for you to nourish yourself body-mind-heart and spirit. For this first week, reflect on what you do currently for self-care whether it’s healthy eating, exercise, prayer/meditation or visiting with friends. Notice how much time you devote to self-care and how you feel when you do.

What does your body feel like? What kind of thoughts do you have? How positive or negative are they? What thoughts and feelings do you have about yourself? How do you relate to others? How connected do you feel to your spirit/soul?

Then notice how you feel when you doggedly pursue your “to-do list” without stopping to refill your emotional pitcher. As we say in “Life Will Never Be the Same,” no woman is a bottomless pitcher and you can’t feel good when your pitcher is dry. It won’t happen no matter how hard you try.

Finally, notice the differences when you do and don’t practice self-care. Don’t make any changes, just be aware. If you have a journal, write them down.

Now, your incentive. If you go to www.facebook.com/livingselfcare and enter a comment on this week’s assignment, you’ll be entered in a random drawing for Godiva chocolates. Happy Halloween!

Women’s Roles as Broadcasters for Self-Care Awareness

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Last week Pregnancy.org wrote a blog post about GiulianaRancic and her new battle with breast cancer. Giuliana’s a great example of how you can start with one situation (IVF treatments) and end up discovering you have a new condition (breast cancer). She found this out because she practices self-care. Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, I feel this is an appropriate connection into Diane’s post about, “It takes a Village…”  to make self-care happen!

We have a sacred duty to ourselves to get the word out, to support each other, to make sure our friends, families, and loved ones take care of themselves. We must take the time to participate in and spread the wordabout self-care. We need our women friends onboard the “self-care train.” Guiliana went on the Today Show to spread her message of the importance of self-care. While she can get the word out a lot faster as a celebrity, you don’t need to have celebrity status to get the word out. All you need to have is the desire to care.

November will be “Self-Care Month,” complete with a contest and challenge. When the days are dark and dreary, you don’t have to be! Self-care will guide you! Wishing all of you a wonderful holiday season coming up!

Today’s author is Mollee Bauer, founder of Pregnancy.org which gives moms the tools they need to empower themselves and advice on how to take care of themselves to help them conquer their challenges and overcome self-care obstacles.

It Takes a Village. Spread the Word!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Last week I spoke in New Jersey about the importance of self-care during pregnancy and post-birth, but my conference highlight was visiting with three moms who’ve survived postpartum depression/anxiety/OCD who are trained to support other women going through it. There was a fourth mom there who offers support online but didn’t know any moms locally and these three embraced her like they would each other.

It reminded me again that we must be the ones to lead the charge to dispel society’s myths about motherhood and to ensure that all moms, whatever point of motherhood they’re at,  get the emotional health care they deserve. We must challenge our own biases about anxiety and depression, and accept them as “health conditions” just like heart disease or diabetes. We must accept that self-care is self-preserving and that women who make their emotional health a priority have more not less to give. As Laura Nash said beautifully, “You can’t give away what you don’t have.”

So, we’ve decided to declare November “Self-Care Month” with the self-care contest/challenge running from Nov.14-18. We think this is the time when women need to be most reminded to keep their emotional pitchers full with all  the season’s demands. Please get your friends, co-workers, moms, daughters, neighbors and all your female peeps to join us for fun and great giveaways.

Also special thanks to my friend Susan Ellis Murphy who mentors the SNJPC support moms and works tirelessly to ensure the health of SNJ moms.

What’s Missing?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

You’re making an effort to take better care of yourself. Say you’re having a good week: you’ve exercised, eaten nutritious meals, and maybe even had a spa day. Great job!

Is something still…missing? We forget that we are by nature, spiritual beings. We are a spirit (that essence of life and divinity that makes us who we are) in a body (flesh & bones) possessing a soul (mind, will, emotions). However, we often forget this .

So how do we activate and nurture our spirituality? Motherhood is one tough job – no doubt about it. Sometimes our faith is the only thing that will get us through. Here are some easy ways to integrate spirituality in our daily lives:

• Prayer & meditation- we can speak or write them in a journal. It doesn’t have to be fancy. We can pray silently when brushing our teeth, driving, or even changing a diaper. Many chores don’t require a great deal of concentration. This is an excellent time to contemplate and recite prayers/reflections that apply to our challenges.
• Reading- spending a few moments in the morning or before bedtime reading inspirational material from the Bible and other sources can bring much needed guidance and peace to our lives.
• Spiritual retreats & worship services- others can teach us, inspire us, and give us greater perspective.

Keeping it simple can ensure an active and productive spiritual life. Mommie Kate offers tips and encouragement for busy moms at Practical Faith For Everyday Life.

Women, Hormones and Mood

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Did you know that women experience twice as much depression as men? Would that be because we’re more sensitive? I think not. The explanation which best fits is that we are more affected by hormonal shifts which influence our brain chemistry, particulary around times when our lives change dramatically-like pregnancy and post-birth.

In fact, 1 in 8 women will experience a clinical episode of depression, anxiety, etc. during pregnancy, postpartum and menopause, which is greater than the occurence of most health conditions. So, what will it take for emotional health to become an integral part of women’s health? Why aren’t women being routinely screened for mood and anxiety conditions? How can health conditions which have such a profound impact on developing families continue to be ignored?

I was having this conversation Friday with a local journalist and told him that women must lead the charge like we’ve done with breast cancer. We must come forward and share our stories to support each other in getting the help we need and deserve. We must be prepared to educate our health providers and make it clear that we expect to be cared for-body, mind, heart and soul. We must challenge our own biases about anxiety and depression, and accept them as “health conditions” just like heart disease or diabetes.

Ghandi said, “Become the change you want to see in the world.”

To learn more about hormones and mood, read Women’s Moods about pregnancy and postpartum, The Wisdom of Menopause, and visit www.womenshealth.gov.

Get Back to “Basics” Today

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

A client called me yesterday to reschedule her appointment. As we wished
each other well before hanging up, she mentioned she was about to eat
lunch. The clock read 2:30 PM. She begins her work shift at 8:00 AM and finishes at 5:00 PM. She hadn’t taken the time to eat because she of her “busy day.”

How many of us ignore the very basic needs of Self-Care? Eating at least 3 meals
a day is just one of them. What about refusing to take a break to use the restroom
until it is such an urgent matter that we can’t ignore it? Taking a few minutes to relax with a cup of our favorite beverage to rest and renew?

One of the things mainstream society tells us is that productivity is good; idleness is bad…or worse – LAZY! Have we bought that belief so solidly we ignore our bodies’ very basic needs? Take notice– you may do this and
not even realize it. I know I was!

If this is a chronic problem for you, try scheduling your meals into your daily
calendar like you would a meeting. Don’t wait longer than a few minutes
ignoring nature’s call – get to a stopping point and go take care of your Self.

While self-care focuses on the soul, we can’t survive without healthy bodies!

Stacey Glaesmann, LPC is a counselor in private practice near Houston, TX. Her book, “What About Me? A Simple Guide to Self-Care in the 21st Century” is available at www.pearlandtherapy.com.

Free Yourself From Imprisoning Thoughts

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursday "Words of Wisdom"

Reading is a means of thinking with another person’s mind; it forces you to stretch your own.
~Charles Scribner,Jr.

Lately I’ve been listening to life coach Martha Beck’s book Steering By Starlight. In it, she discusses how to dismantle the “thought dungeons” we create.

The idea of changing our thoughts to change our feelings originated in cognitive therapy by Aaron Beck (no relation to Martha) and Albert Ellis. One of the first books on this, Feeling Good, painstakingly described common cognitive distortions like “all or nothing” thinking, my favorite, “catastrophizing,” aka “living in the wreckage of the future,” and how we can neutralize/”refute them.”

Martha Beck’s book is much more fun than this with her keen wit and uncanny sense of how people get themselves stuck in “thought dungeons” of their own making and how to get out. For example, moms/parents who devote themselves to their children, totally neglecting their own needs. Sound familiar?

Here’s what she says to make the point, as we often do, that doing this is not necessarily best for you or your child. “The reason they tells parents to put their oxygen masks on first is because a conscious parent can save an unconscious child, but a conscious child cannot save an unconscious parent.”

What are you doing for self-care? If not, what thoughts are keeping you stuck? As last Thursday’s post suggested, ” Perhaps our arms will be more willing to hug and take care of others after we take care of ourselves.”

Contest Postponed: Taking Time for Self-Care

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Last week I was reviewing plans for the self-care contest/challenge with Mollee Bauer of pregnancy.org when we realized the contest needed additional planning to succeed, so I’m  postponing it from Oct.2-8 to Nov.14-18. Also, my emotional pitcher was nearing empty. As we often say,  you can’t give others what you don’t have so I gave myself a 3-day weekend to recharge.

This weekend, I haven’t done anything special. In fact, I haven’t done much at all. Truly nirvana. However, I wanted to share a few gifts with you since the contest/challenge is delayed. Here they are. First, the theme of the contest will be gratitude and thankfulness. Each day we’ll have an activity to complete which expresses our theme. Over the next few weeks, if you come up with an activity we use during the contest, you’ll win a box of Godiva chocolates. Please put your suggestions in the comment section of this or future posts.

Second, the following are links to other web resources for living self-care from several wonderful women I’ve met online and other articles/interviews I’ve  done recently.  For pregnancy and post-birth health, visit pregnancy.org. For self-care tips, listen to my podcast with Darline Turner of mamasonbedrest. Read about making motherhood work for you on totstoteensmagazine or look at my 7 Sanity-Saving Tips at babycenter.com. Good suggestions for anyone.

Don’t forget to send us a contest idea and remember, “Self-care is like chocolate, you can never have enough.”