Tag: self care tips for women

Follow Your Bliss

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Wednesday Wisdom

Here’s another comment we wanted to share from the Self-Care Contest/Challenge. 

“Sometimes moms prioritize their kids’ needs too much and don’t focus enough on self-care. I’ve been guilty of doing that, but I’ve also learned that taking time for my kids, and the little things each day that are important enough to them that they want me to pay attention, also equals self-care. *I* get so much out of the bursts of undivided attention I give them…they teach me, they make me laugh, I just enjoy them so much that it lifts me up to lift them up and see how that little bit of attention fans the flames of their own self-love and self-confidence. I think too often we moms get caught up in all the “musts” of parenting and forget to really, truly enjoy our kids. That’s been such an important lesson for me. They feed on my love for them, I feed on their love for me, and we’re all so much happier and healthier as a result.

My 9-year-old daughter wrote a very sweet poem for me for Mother’s Day. My favorite line is this one: “The way you look at me, it’s so special…it makes me feel so loved.” WOW! If I’m succeeding at that, and nothing else in life, I’m going to consider mine a life well-lived. So for me, for now, in this moment, my kids are definitely my bliss.” :-D

Today’s author is Angela.

Contest winners will be announced Friday.  Thanks for your patience.

What Is A Mother?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

As we conclude our Mother’s Day Contest/Challenge, here are some final thoughts about what motherhood means.  One of our favorite poems about mother/parenthood is from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, “On Children.”

 “Your children are not your children.  They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. ..

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.”

Another touching  account of motherhood is found in the video “What Is A Mother,” from Mother to Mother, one of our challenge champions.  Click here to view.

Then I saw Katherine Stone’s beautiful Mother Day post at Daily Hope and wanted you to see it too.

“You will discover the mother inside you and how beautiful and wonderful she is thanks in part to the love from your children.  You will grow to see yourself as your child sees you when he or she calls your name, or falls asleep comfortably in your arms, or smiles at you, or wants you when she is scared or hurt, or asks your opinion when he needs guidance.  You will see. ”

Photo by Real Mom Kim

We took the weekend off to practice self-care so contest winners will be announced Wednesday.  In the meantime, we hope you’ll send us your comments about what motherhood means to you.  Remember, make everyday Mother’s Day by Living Self-Care.

Wrapping Up Our Self-Care Contest/Challenge: Last Day to Enter and Win

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

Living Self-Care: Body-Mind-Heart&Soul

 To make self-care a lasting habit, we must redefine our priorities shifting our attention from what’s urgent to what’s truly important. 

In Beyond the Eighth Habit, Steven Covey discusses four paths which correspond to the four aspects of health essential to self-care: body-to live; mind-to learn; heart-to love; and soul-to leave a legacy.  If we devote time and attention to these,  we will create optimal health, happiness, and life satisfaction, enhancing the lives of everyone around us. 

Summary Suggestions:

1.      Make your health and well-being a priority

2.      Nourish your body with food, sleep, activity and rest.

3.      Manage stress wisely.

4.      Be a positive thinker.

5.      Don’t make assumptions.

6.      Accept yourself and others wholly.

7.      Trust your inner guidance.

8.      Nourish relationships with family and friends.

9.      Respect yourself and others.

10.  Do what makes your heart sing.

11.  Practice compassion, kindness and forgiveness.

12.  Connect with spirit through gratitude, service, and intention.

While we can’t control everything, we can create a life filled with health, happiness and purpose if we align our actions and thoughts with living self-care body, mind, heart and soul.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Make it count!

Today is the final day of the Mother’s Day Self-Care Contest/Challenge.  If you haven’t subscribed to our blog yet, register by 11:59 CT tonight t win our fabulous prizes.  Thanks for joining us.  Hope you’ll stay with us and keep Living Self-Care.

Wait-Watch-Listen

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

It’s so easy to get caught up in the frenzy of daily life, we often forget that the answers to our problems aren’t instantaneous like a text message.  Because most women are “fixers,”, it’s challenging to wait for the solution to emerge rather than forcing our agenda.  One of the lessons my younger daughter taught me is to take a break when we’re at an impasse rather than pursuing her doggedly which rarely ends well.

Along these lines, I’ve been practicing the skills of “wait-watch-listen” to keep myself from overreacting to situations and build confidence that “the need goes out and the answer appears.”  While I may have been more skeptical years ago, I’ve seen enough evidence now to trust this works.  Sometimes it takes more time than I’m willing to give it, but I’m learning to be patient.

Today I had lunch with a good friend who brought me the solution to a problem I’ve had.  Although I hadn’t figured it out myself, I had decided to wait until a clear answer emerged because none of my ideas had worked.   So I kept telling myself, “Don’t take action or make any decisions until you’re certain of how to proceed.”  I wasn’t, but when my good friend made her suggestion, I knew it was the way to go.

Life has a way of unfolding although not necessarily on our schedule.  The next time you feel stuck, watch and listen for the answer you’re seeking.  It’s well worth the wait!

A Shout Out to All Moms

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Friday Funnies

This is one of our favorite videos about motherhood.  Since Wednesday’s post was on loosening the bonds of self-criticism, it seemed fitting to consider all the things that moms do each day which go unrecognized.  It’s exhausting to think about but deserving of our attention.

Instead of putting ourselves down, we need to remember to pat ourselves on the back whether anyone else does.  To appreciate all our hard work which keeps our families going.  But it’s Friday, so for now have fun with this YouTube video and take some me-time this weekend.

Loosening the Bonds of Self-Criticism

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Wednesday Wisdom

So, I thought I’d “mastered” blogging (lol) when I discovered Monday night I’d erased Monday’s post and on Tuesday am, didn’t schedule it right.  After chastising myself for “ruining” Monday and Tuesday, I thought I can either keep feeling bad or let it go.   Yes, it was a mistake but not fatal or harmful, except for my beating myself up.

And isn’t this how life goes?  Whether it’s being a “good enough” mom, wife, daughter, worker, blogger, we as women focus tirelessly on where we’ve fallen short, feeling worthless and unhappy.  We are our own worst critic.  We would rarely be as unforgiving of someone else.  But we’re convinced, we deserve it!

How do we get out of this rut?  First, by practicing self-care and making our health and well-being a priority.  My “mistakes” followed two crazy weeks of non-stop activity but I was so energized by what I was doing, I told myself that would carry me through.  It didn’t.  The more depleted we become, the more likely we are to make mistakes, and vulnerable to self-criticism because negative thinking comes easier and seems truer.

Next, we need to “befriend” ourselves and extend the same kindness and generosity we would to a good friend who was feeling badly about herself.  Yes, it’s okay to treat ourselves as well as others.  It is the key to releasing self-criticism, knowing we are deserving of love although we are imperfect and make mistakes.  Unconditional love towards ourselves. 

A most important self-care skill to practice.

Surviving PPD: The Princess Who Saved Herself

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Tuesday Tips

This past weekend, I participated in a training for Mother to Mother, our free volunteer phone support program for pregnant and post-birth moms in Missouri.  One conversation which stood out for me was how surviving postpartum depression (PPD) can help us become stronger and more confident.  Not that anyone would willingly choose this, but sometimes it chooses us. 

Experiencing mild depression after my first baby, took me by surprise.  After completing my doctoral degree, getting my psychology license, and seeing 30 clients a week, I thought I could handle anything.  Certainly, motherhood couldn’t be more challenging.  How wrong I was!   

As a new mom I doubted myself about many things, including if I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.  I felt incompetent, inadequate and that I wasn’t “good enough” to be the mom my daughter deserved.   I thought sleep, self-care and sex were permanently gone.  On bad days I was convinced life as I knew it was over and I’d be trapped in motherhood hell forever. 

But gradually, the landscape changed.  Surviving the ups, downs and uncertainties of new motherhood, I emerged feeling stronger and self-assured.  More capable of meeting life’s changes.  Empowered with renewed strength and confidence.

For all moms, including those with PPD,  listen now to “The Princess Who Saved Herself.  It is a reminder and affirmation that while others may help us through  challenging and stressful times, making our way through the darkness is ultimately what saves us.

Laughter: “An Instant Vacation”

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Friday Funnies

I was teaching a self-care class on Wednesday to hair stylists, who certainly do their share of counseling, when one commented she’d seen this great sign, “Laughter is an instant vacation.”  I agree wholeheartedly so when my younger daughter sent me this cat picture a few months ago, I saved it for when I need a good laugh and decided this week to share it with you.  Hope this tickles your funny bone.

"Jabba" the Cat

May “the force” of laughter be with you.  Enjoy your weekend!

PPD Recovery and Renewal

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized, Wednesday Wisdom

I was listening to a mother in our postpartum support group as she described small victories; she was recovering from postpartum depression (PPD) and was feeling good about herself and how far she had come. I wondered why more women don’t celebrate recovery and victory over depression, anxiety, grief, and other emotional challenges.

A few years ago while offering phone support, one mom mentioned that after recovering from PPD, her Mother-in-law said she didn’t like who she’d become. Why was that?  What was different about her? She’d emerged a stronger, more confident woman, able to voice her needs and take care of herself.  A well-fought victory!  We laughed about her mother-in-law’s reaction and celebrated the woman she is now who is so different than when I first spoke to her.

After two personal experiences with PPD, I like the woman and mother I have become. I feel strong for fighting and winning against PPD, to date it is the most difficult thing I have experienced in my life. Now I ask for what I want and take care of my needs. I have self confidence in who I am and my abilities as a mother. That terrible experience molded me into the person I am today. Today, celebrate the woman you are becoming and have become!

Real Moms Geralyn and Linda

Linda Meyer is the Executive Director of Mother to Mother in St. Louis, MO. Mother to Mother offers telephone and group support to women experiencing emotional difficulties during pregnancy and postpartum.

More Spring Cleaning

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Here are some additional thoughts on how to renew ourselves and release old, worn thoughts and habits.  Spring cleaning from the inside out.

Discover what’s nourishing.  Just as plants need water and sunshine to grow, we need physical, emotional, and spiritual sustenance.  Start with eating healthy foods, getting regular physical activity, sleeping 8-9 hours, and taking breaks for your mind and body.  Do one thing you enjoy daily, whether it’s phoning a friend, listening to music or walking your dog.  Nurture your spirit through prayer, meditation, or communing with nature. 

Let go of un-nourishing relationships.  Being honest about admitting and detaching from relationships which aren’t good anymore can still hurt especially   ones involving family and long-term friends.  If we’ve spoken to them about what needs to be different and things haven’t changed over time, release them with love.   Clearing space for nourishing relationships to enter.

Cultivate optimism.  Looking more on the “sunny” side of life can be learned by shifting attention away from negative thoughts to more positive ones.  There are few situations which are all good or all bad.  Our great job may sour when we get a new boss.   An untimely move lead to a wonderful neighborhood with friends with love.  Prune your mind of unnecessary negativity. 

Practice gratitude. 

Photo by Real Mom Kim

When we feel grateful, our souls are nourished and restored.  We have a more positive attitude toward today and what lies ahead.  We feel connected to something bigger than ourselves.  Supported in the deepest sense.  Abundant and alive.