Tag: parenting

Living Self-Care Challenge Contest Winners!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Press Release

We appreciate your patience this week as we have worked to wrap up last week’s Living Self-Care Challenge Contest. As you know, we practiced what we preached and took some time for self-care this week. Last week was a blast and we thoroughly enjoyed every comment, tweet, and new fan at our Facebook Page.

Now, on to the important stuff! The winners!

Last week’s Living Self-Care Challenge was accompanied by a contest featuring prizes donated by our Challenge Champions. In order to win, you had to subscribe to our blog by 11:59pm on May 6, 2011. This past week we drew winners and are thrilled to share them with you!

Our winners are:

tetlak75(@)yahoo.com – $50 amazon gift certificate from Pregnancy.org

haaron10(@)yahoo.com – Gift Certificate to Massage Envy via Baby Kids Expo

lwaugh(@)vpvp.com – $25 Shutterfly Gift Certificate via Working Moms Against Guilt

shauna_mondello(@)yahoo.com – Book and 1 hour of coaching from Darline Turner-Lee of Mamas on Bedrest

thistleandlavender(@)yahoo.com – Happy Family clothing & PSI Educational DVD via Postpartum Support International

kiciaw(@)sunflower.com – Spa eye pillow & Neck Pillow via Postpartum Progress

marybeth.waite(@)gmail.com – Jewelry set via Mother to Mother Support

trejojuil(@)aol.com – Great Mom Book via Minutes to Moments

jessica.pupillo(@)gmail.com – Deluxe Prize Basket from Real Mom Experts

Congratulations to all our winners! You’ll be contacted via email with additional details regarding how to claim your prizes.

Thank you again to all the wonderful Challenge Champions including St.Louis Kid’s Magazine for their support and generous donation of wonderful prizes. We could not have had such a successful week without your participation!

Follow Your Bliss

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Wednesday Wisdom

Here’s another comment we wanted to share from the Self-Care Contest/Challenge. 

“Sometimes moms prioritize their kids’ needs too much and don’t focus enough on self-care. I’ve been guilty of doing that, but I’ve also learned that taking time for my kids, and the little things each day that are important enough to them that they want me to pay attention, also equals self-care. *I* get so much out of the bursts of undivided attention I give them…they teach me, they make me laugh, I just enjoy them so much that it lifts me up to lift them up and see how that little bit of attention fans the flames of their own self-love and self-confidence. I think too often we moms get caught up in all the “musts” of parenting and forget to really, truly enjoy our kids. That’s been such an important lesson for me. They feed on my love for them, I feed on their love for me, and we’re all so much happier and healthier as a result.

My 9-year-old daughter wrote a very sweet poem for me for Mother’s Day. My favorite line is this one: “The way you look at me, it’s so special…it makes me feel so loved.” WOW! If I’m succeeding at that, and nothing else in life, I’m going to consider mine a life well-lived. So for me, for now, in this moment, my kids are definitely my bliss.” :-D

Today’s author is Angela.

Contest winners will be announced Friday.  Thanks for your patience.

What Is A Mother?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

As we conclude our Mother’s Day Contest/Challenge, here are some final thoughts about what motherhood means.  One of our favorite poems about mother/parenthood is from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, “On Children.”

 “Your children are not your children.  They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. ..

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.”

Another touching  account of motherhood is found in the video “What Is A Mother,” from Mother to Mother, one of our challenge champions.  Click here to view.

Then I saw Katherine Stone’s beautiful Mother Day post at Daily Hope and wanted you to see it too.

“You will discover the mother inside you and how beautiful and wonderful she is thanks in part to the love from your children.  You will grow to see yourself as your child sees you when he or she calls your name, or falls asleep comfortably in your arms, or smiles at you, or wants you when she is scared or hurt, or asks your opinion when he needs guidance.  You will see. ”

Photo by Real Mom Kim

We took the weekend off to practice self-care so contest winners will be announced Wednesday.  In the meantime, we hope you’ll send us your comments about what motherhood means to you.  Remember, make everyday Mother’s Day by Living Self-Care.

More ZZZ’s for Mom and Baby: Consistency is Key

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Tuesday Tips

When your baby is born, she/he will be alert and ready to bond with you during the first hour.  Afterwards, she will go into a deep sleep for about 4 hours as she begins adjusting to life outside the womb.  During the first 2 weeks, she will eat about every 2-3 hours and sleep a total of 10-18 hours a day.  You may even have to wake her for feedings.

By week 3 having acclimated more to life outside the womb, her eating habits will become more regular although still inconsistent and prone to changes during growth spurts.  Around the third month of life, your baby’s sleep cycle should be more regular and he/she should be sleeping for longer stretches.  What a sense of timing.  Welcome changes indeed! 

While you cannot force your baby into a predictable sleeping pattern, you can guide her.  When you get up, open the blinds and turn on the music, creating a routine for your baby to follow. When you get ready for bed, dim the lights, bathe your baby, and put on soothing sounds.  Consistency is critical for developing well-regulated sleep habits.

If your baby awakens between feeding times, gently pat his/her back, sssh, and offer a pacifier, to help your baby learn how to self-soothe. The less noise and more consistency you provide, the more you help your baby adjust and learn to develop healthy sleep patterns.

Jamie Bodily is the founder and director of ParentsCount.   A Birth and Postpartum Doula in St. Louis, she assists new parents in developing healthy routines, adjusting to a newborn, calming tips and breastfeeding assistance.

Bonding With Your Baby

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Tuesday Tips, Uncategorized

Bonding  prenatally and after delivery creates a foundation for the parent-child relationship.
Here are some bonding tips:

  1. Place your baby on your chest after birth and put a warm blanket over both of you. Hold, touch, and talk to your baby. Your body releases hormones that encourage bonding and attachment to your baby. You and baby do not need to be separated during the first hour after delivery unless there is a medical concern.
  2. Have dad take off his shirt and hold baby skin to skin.
  3. Massage your baby.
  4. Sing to your baby. Sing whatever you want, it doesn’t have to be kids music.
  5. Read to your baby. Read prenatally and post-delivery to your baby. Babies can hear in the womb and respond to your voice.
  6. Talk to your baby.
  7. Tell your baby “I love you.”
  8. Soak in the smell of your newborn. Who doesn’t like the smell of a newly washed baby?
  9. Your breastmilk is composed of the things you eat, so it tastes different at each feeding. Eat a variety of foods to treat yourself and your baby.
  10. Smile! Babies love faces and newborns can see from their mother’s breast to her face.
  11. Use a wrap, sling or carrier and keep your baby close to you.
  12. Play with your baby during diaper changes. Peek-a-boo and This Little Piggy are fun games.

Jamie Bodily is founder and director of ParentsCount. Jamie offers private and group “Happiest Baby on the Block” classes encouraging gentle baby calming for fussy babies.  For more-www.parentscount.com.

Motherhood is Hard Work So Cut Yourself Some Slack!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Tuesday Tips

The media creates images of perfect mothers such as June Cleaver and Claire Huxtabel. TV moms look perfect, have spotless homes, and great relationships. Magazine covers portray moms holding beautiful babies, breastpumps and briefcases who are perfectly made up.  From such images women define their “shoulds” and “musts”creating unattainable standards of perfection and judging themselves for not keeping up.

The truth is that motherhood is hard work. As women become mothers and face the accompanying stressors and challenges, they often internalize their  inability to cope flawlessly as personal failings.  Add sleepless nights and fussy babies and it’s not hard to see why mothers lose confidence. When the idealized view of one’s self and motherhood collides with reality, they criticize themselves rather than recognizing how well they are doing given the endless expenditure of physical, emotional and mental energy that goes into caring for children.  Pretty amazing!

Nuclear families encourage isolation, especially in the early days postpartum. Experienced mothers rarely discuss hardships inherent in mothering.  No one wants to admit they felt less than adequate, irritable, anxious or depressed maneuvering new motherhood while this is true.  Although the internet provides some connection, many moms lack the  face-to-face support needed to see that everyone faces challenges and make mistakes.  Supporting themselves and each other by acknowledging that motherhood is hard work and that perfection must be tempered by reality  is what’s needed.

So, starting today cut yourself and the moms around you some slack.  You’ve earned it.  You deserve it!

Jamie Bodily is founder and director of ParentsCount which provides birth and postpartum doula services, childbirth education and counseling

It’s Okay to Speak Up to Your Children, Too!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Tuesday Tips

In my grandmother’s generation, “children were to be seen but not heard.”  Only parents/adults deserved respect.  Next, parents learned to “listen so their children/teens would talk,” but still expected respect from them.  Today, it seems that many children and teens openly disrespect their parents, and we allow it.

What’s happened?  When did we start worrying more about our children’s love and approval than teaching them to be considerate and thoughtful?  A few months ago one mom told me that she was so hurt by her three year-old yelling at her “I hate you,” she collapsed in a puddle on the floor.   Another mom related how her 10 year-old screamed at her for opening the room to her door without knocking so she apologized.  The problem is not that these situations occur, but that we don’t assert ourselves and use reasonable consequences because we’re afraid of how our children will respond. 

Like all moms, I know how hard it is to speak up and enforce limits.  But I learned that although I felt bad , it was more it was more important to teach my daughters  RESPECT than be their friend or fear their disapproval.  I treated them respectfully and expected the same.

When my younger daughter yelled at me, I warned her once and sent her to her room.  When my older daughter wouldn’t listen, we didn’t go to the mall that day.  While they didn’t like it then, now they value respect, consideration and courtesy in their relationships.  We joke about my younger daughter running from me saying, “No more consequences.”

SPEAK UP.  It works.

Three steps to teachable holiday moments

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Tuesday Tips

The holidays often sucks us into the gimmes, just like our kids, as we make the holidays happen. We easily lose track of the underlying message of the season for our kids. Consider these focused activities to reconnect with the holiday lessons:

1) CHOOSE actively, in line with your values. Stop and consider what you want to teach about the holiday season. You might want to say no if an event is too commercial, or detracts from planned family time. It’s fine to focus on fun–and opt out if an event is more drudgery or duty than pleasure. This is your holiday, too, and you have the right to celebrate it in a way that is meaningful and enjoyable for you. What a good example for your children!

2) INVOLVE everyone in the process of giving, helping small children pick out toys for the holiday toy drive, donate from their piggy banks to the bell ringer at the grocery, or make macaroni necklaces for favorite aunts or sitters. Older children might perform a chore, or sing/perform on an instrument for neighbors, visiting family, or residents of a senior living community.

3) READ one book about your spiritual perspective and traditions nightly. Every library has a children’s librarian eager to suggest new (or old favorite) titles. On the subject of reading, consider a classic book as a gift each year. Building a personal library for a child fosters a lifelong love of reading, one value to focus on that continues throughout the year.

Press Release: Still Time to Join 21 Day Self-Care Challenge

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Press Release

Thirteen days into the 21 Day Self-Care Challenge, and the response is amazing. On the initial day of the challenge, nearly 800 viewers visited this LIVING Self-Care blog. The average number of visitors per day to date is 340. The message is spreading across the web, as the list of friends and supporting organizations continues to expand.

It’s not too late to join the 21 Day Self-Care Challenge! Check out the daily tips, beginning on Day one. Or  choose a tip that works for you, jumping from Day 2 to 8 to 6. Work at your pace. Skip the parts that don’t resonate, and repeat the activities that really light you up. Invite your friends and loved ones. Ann Dunnewold, Ph.D., and Diane Sanford, Ph.D., co-authors of Life Will Never Be The Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide simply hope to inspire women to put themselves on the list, developing a lasting habit to support well-being.

Join with Challenge Champions such as Postpartum Progress, Cafe Mom, and Postpartum Support International in supporting this effort to change the lives of women. Don’t miss the insightful, touching comments and conversation about the impact of the daily tips on real women of all ages and life stations.

Finally, rally to the call for photos and videos! Contribute these as a way to make your presence known in this landmark event. Don’t delay and miss being included–send those today to ann[at]realmomexperts.com . For more information about joining as a Challenge Champion, email realmomexperts[at]gmail.com.

And thanks for joining us!