Tag: postpartum

More ZZZ’s for Mom and Baby: Consistency is Key

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Tuesday Tips

When your baby is born, she/he will be alert and ready to bond with you during the first hour.  Afterwards, she will go into a deep sleep for about 4 hours as she begins adjusting to life outside the womb.  During the first 2 weeks, she will eat about every 2-3 hours and sleep a total of 10-18 hours a day.  You may even have to wake her for feedings.

By week 3 having acclimated more to life outside the womb, her eating habits will become more regular although still inconsistent and prone to changes during growth spurts.  Around the third month of life, your baby’s sleep cycle should be more regular and he/she should be sleeping for longer stretches.  What a sense of timing.  Welcome changes indeed! 

While you cannot force your baby into a predictable sleeping pattern, you can guide her.  When you get up, open the blinds and turn on the music, creating a routine for your baby to follow. When you get ready for bed, dim the lights, bathe your baby, and put on soothing sounds.  Consistency is critical for developing well-regulated sleep habits.

If your baby awakens between feeding times, gently pat his/her back, sssh, and offer a pacifier, to help your baby learn how to self-soothe. The less noise and more consistency you provide, the more you help your baby adjust and learn to develop healthy sleep patterns.

Jamie Bodily is the founder and director of ParentsCount.   A Birth and Postpartum Doula in St. Louis, she assists new parents in developing healthy routines, adjusting to a newborn, calming tips and breastfeeding assistance.

Wait-Watch-Listen

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

It’s so easy to get caught up in the frenzy of daily life, we often forget that the answers to our problems aren’t instantaneous like a text message.  Because most women are “fixers,”, it’s challenging to wait for the solution to emerge rather than forcing our agenda.  One of the lessons my younger daughter taught me is to take a break when we’re at an impasse rather than pursuing her doggedly which rarely ends well.

Along these lines, I’ve been practicing the skills of “wait-watch-listen” to keep myself from overreacting to situations and build confidence that “the need goes out and the answer appears.”  While I may have been more skeptical years ago, I’ve seen enough evidence now to trust this works.  Sometimes it takes more time than I’m willing to give it, but I’m learning to be patient.

Today I had lunch with a good friend who brought me the solution to a problem I’ve had.  Although I hadn’t figured it out myself, I had decided to wait until a clear answer emerged because none of my ideas had worked.   So I kept telling myself, “Don’t take action or make any decisions until you’re certain of how to proceed.”  I wasn’t, but when my good friend made her suggestion, I knew it was the way to go.

Life has a way of unfolding although not necessarily on our schedule.  The next time you feel stuck, watch and listen for the answer you’re seeking.  It’s well worth the wait!

Motherhood is Hard Work So Cut Yourself Some Slack!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Tuesday Tips

The media creates images of perfect mothers such as June Cleaver and Claire Huxtabel. TV moms look perfect, have spotless homes, and great relationships. Magazine covers portray moms holding beautiful babies, breastpumps and briefcases who are perfectly made up.  From such images women define their “shoulds” and “musts”creating unattainable standards of perfection and judging themselves for not keeping up.

The truth is that motherhood is hard work. As women become mothers and face the accompanying stressors and challenges, they often internalize their  inability to cope flawlessly as personal failings.  Add sleepless nights and fussy babies and it’s not hard to see why mothers lose confidence. When the idealized view of one’s self and motherhood collides with reality, they criticize themselves rather than recognizing how well they are doing given the endless expenditure of physical, emotional and mental energy that goes into caring for children.  Pretty amazing!

Nuclear families encourage isolation, especially in the early days postpartum. Experienced mothers rarely discuss hardships inherent in mothering.  No one wants to admit they felt less than adequate, irritable, anxious or depressed maneuvering new motherhood while this is true.  Although the internet provides some connection, many moms lack the  face-to-face support needed to see that everyone faces challenges and make mistakes.  Supporting themselves and each other by acknowledging that motherhood is hard work and that perfection must be tempered by reality  is what’s needed.

So, starting today cut yourself and the moms around you some slack.  You’ve earned it.  You deserve it!

Jamie Bodily is founder and director of ParentsCount which provides birth and postpartum doula services, childbirth education and counseling

Beyond Self-Care: Hope for Postpartum Depression

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Wednesday Wisdom

Sometimes all a mom needs is hope. When buried under the despair of postpartum depression (PPD) or anxiety, it’s hard to imagine a light at the end of the tunnel. The doctor might tell you it’s there, but you don’t see it.

You need proof.

Since there’s no crystal ball to show you the happiness you’ll regain, you have
to get the proof another way. You have to talk to moms who have been there,
living examples of a full recovery from PPD. They exist. In fact, they are
everywhere.

I love connecting moms to others who have been down the same road.  Nearly one million women suffer from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders like PPD, and I want them to know they are not alone and that they will get better.   I’ve seen many times that all it takes is a few words from a mom who has been there to a mom with PPD, who’s feeling isolated and lost, to realize help is available and that she is worth it.

 To offer women with postpartum depression and anxiety  hope and support, I founded Postpartum Progress and Daily Hope, the nation’s first daily support service featuring emails to moms with postpartum depression and anxiety.  Both provide encouragement from survivors, the country’s top perinatal mental health specialists and others who care.  If you or someone you love has PPD, help is only a click away.

Today’s author is Katherine Stone, PPD survivor and spokesperson.

Call to Action

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

We’re challenging each of you to get 2 friends to sign up for LIVING Self-Care in the next week, before the 21 day challenge ends.  Share this great resource! There are many more deserving women out there. You, as one of our valuable fans working the challenge, are our best recommendation.  We hope the tips have been helpful and that you feel empowered to make self-care part of your daily routine.  Your comments have inspired us!  They help us keep our emotional pitchers full.  For more about this, preview our new book, Life Will Never Be The Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide at http://www.realmomexperts.com.

We’ll be making an exciting announcement in the next few days about our future plans and how you can be involved.   Meanwhile, we want your feedback! Please let us know:

  • Which tip you liked best?
  • Which tip you liked the least?
  • What helped you stick with practicing self-care?
  • Where you ran into obstacles?
  • Anything else you’d like us to know.

You can offer your feedback here, in the comments section, or email us at realmomexperts{at}gmail.com.

Together, we can encourage and support each other to make LIVING Self-Care a reality day by day.

Thanks! We appreciate you!

Press Release: Still Time to Join 21 Day Self-Care Challenge

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Press Release

Thirteen days into the 21 Day Self-Care Challenge, and the response is amazing. On the initial day of the challenge, nearly 800 viewers visited this LIVING Self-Care blog. The average number of visitors per day to date is 340. The message is spreading across the web, as the list of friends and supporting organizations continues to expand.

It’s not too late to join the 21 Day Self-Care Challenge! Check out the daily tips, beginning on Day one. Or  choose a tip that works for you, jumping from Day 2 to 8 to 6. Work at your pace. Skip the parts that don’t resonate, and repeat the activities that really light you up. Invite your friends and loved ones. Ann Dunnewold, Ph.D., and Diane Sanford, Ph.D., co-authors of Life Will Never Be The Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide simply hope to inspire women to put themselves on the list, developing a lasting habit to support well-being.

Join with Challenge Champions such as Postpartum Progress, Cafe Mom, and Postpartum Support International in supporting this effort to change the lives of women. Don’t miss the insightful, touching comments and conversation about the impact of the daily tips on real women of all ages and life stations.

Finally, rally to the call for photos and videos! Contribute these as a way to make your presence known in this landmark event. Don’t delay and miss being included–send those today to ann[at]realmomexperts.com . For more information about joining as a Challenge Champion, email realmomexperts[at]gmail.com.

And thanks for joining us!

 

Welcome to the Challenge

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

Are you perpetually last on your own list, juggling family, home, children,  partner, work, even pets? Meanwhile, every headline, blog, and talk show reminds you to “practice self-care.” Deep inside, you know you’d feel better if you took better care of yourself—but you’re stumbling to start, let alone practice self-care.

The 21-day self-care challenge is just for you.

The first full week of October is Mental Health Week—and a great time to join Drs. Ann Dunnewold and Diane Sanford, the “Real Mom” experts and authors of “Life Will Never Be The Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide,” in LIVING the 21-day women’s self-care challenge.

Beginning October 6, 2010, and wrapping up October 26, 2010, Drs. Sanford and Dunnewold will bring women daily inspiration and practical self-care tips. It takes 21 days to feel the effects of a new habit in your life. The self-care challenge will offer concrete 10 to 15 minute strategies to begin a lasting habit for more balanced mental health.

Join the challenge and make an investment in yourself! Please bookmark or subscribe to this blog and visit us each day from Oct. 6-26, 2010.