Author: Dr. Diane Sanford

Psychologist Dr. Diane Sanford has been passionate about helping women improve their health and lead happier lives since counseling her first postpartum mom 25 years ago. She has re-focused her efforts on mind/body health, which is a part of greater Self-Care.

Self-Care and Recovery from Postpartum Depression

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Guest blogger, Self-Care Month, Self-Care Saturdays

coordinator-cor-meyerToday’s Self-Care Month Guest Post is courtesy of Linda Meyer. Linda is a mother of two, a Postpartum Depression survivor and a Missouri Co-Coordinator for Postpartum Support International. Thank you for your words of wisdom, Linda!

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The term self-care was not even on my radar as a new mom. You give birth and this becomes your 24 hr/day job until eternity, right? No more lazy mornings, naps, lingering showers, uninterrupted meals, or socializing with friends.

Imagine that you are performing a monotonous mommy routine all day every day without thinking about yourself or your needs; you’re losing yourself.  Three months postpartum, motherhood became tremendously more difficult and overwhelming than I ever imagined. In fact, I was not in love with my new role, completely unaware that I was actually suffering from Postpartum Depression (PPD).  I did eventually seek help (not an easy task!). After receiving a diagnosis, I began working with a healthcare provider and a therapist, and self-care became instrumental in my recovery.

Here are some simple self-care suggestions for the new mom:

  • Get out by yourself without your baby (It’s okay to do this, I promise!)
  • Shower/get dressed
  • Eat a healthy diet and exercise
  • Talk with a therapist/counselor (important for emotional distress)
  • Stay in touch with supportive friends (or make new friends)
  • Sneak in a date night every so often
  • Occasionally ask a relative/friend to take your baby overnight (It’s okay to do this, really!)

It doesn’t matter if you choose to do one or several steps listed here. Choose whatever makes you happy, helps you relax and reminds you of the person you were before you became MOM.

Woman Plans; the Universe Enhances

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Self-Care Month, Thursdays with Stacey

Like most of us, I keep a calendar to make sure that I am aware of my daily appointments and things to do. However, on more days than not, my day ends up looking a lot different than my calendar! The opportunities that the Universe presents are abundant if I just keep my eyes open.

I am active in our local Citizens Police Academy Alumni Association, so I am often up at the Police Department, helping them out with whatever I can. Yesterday, I was up there installing a new computer for our association to use (the old one still had a 3.5″ floppy disk drive in it!). My plans were to visit with a friend afterward.

I was finishing up when an officer came in to the workroom and asked the volunteers present if anyone could help him out with a CIT (Crisis Intervention Training) class that he was teaching that day. He needed two people to role-play mentally ill folks in crisis so that the trainees could practice what they had learned. I called my friend, who was happy to come up and help, and so we ended up helping to train local police officers on how to deal with the mentally ill!

Not only was this a great opportunity to assist the police department, but also a chance to speak up about the stigma of mental illness and give feedback about how we, in the role of someone in a mental crisis, felt we were treated by the officers. The scenario I chose to play out was one of a severely depressed and suicidal new mother. Basically, I was re-visiting my past and got to see what might have happened had my crisis gotten so bad that my husband had called the police.

Being trained police officers, all of the trainees, save one female officer, were lacking empathy and ended up escalating my anger with their approaches rather than making me feel like cooperating. After the role-play, we did a de-briefing in which I got to tell them about how I felt about what they said and did. Only one team even picked up on the fact that not only was I suicidal, but that I had a plan (I kept asking for the time because my “plan” was to walk out into rush hour traffic). It was a wonderful opportunity to educate the officers about subtle clues and essential questions to ask should they come across a woman in that situation.

I left feeling great that not only had I assisted the police department in general, but also educated the class about postpartum depression! My schedule just “happened” to be open that afternoon, allowing me to participate. The Universe does things like that all the time…we just have to pay attention! So, keep your eyes and ears open, evaluate each opportunity that presents itself, and act on the ones that your intuition says “yes” to!

Namaste’

Validation

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in February tips, Self-Care Month, Tuesday Tips

Diane’s video reminded me of one I first saw years ago, before TJ Thyne became famous for his role in Bones. It’s not what I expected, and that’s what’s so great about it. It’s a little over 15 minutes long, but I hope you take these moments for yourself and watch the whole thing. And then maybe pass it on… Namaste.

Celebrate Your Awesomeness with Kid President

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in February tips, Mental Health Education, Mondays with Diane, Self-Care Month

I was looking for something fun and inspiring to kick off “February is Self-Care Month” when this Kid President video arrived in my e-mail. It’s about what he would tell someone if it were her “first day here.” I think that if you follow his advice and say these things to yourself, you’ll feel better and more accepting of yourself, which Buddha reminds us “you as much as anyone else in the universe deserve your love and affection.”

Please watch this video until you’re convinced of your awesomeness. Play it as often as you need to quiet your inner critic. It’s a great way to practice self-care. Enjoy!

Guest Blogger Sherry Duson, MA – “Speaking of Time”

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Guest blogger, Self-Care Month, Self-Care Saturdays

phpThumb_generated_thumbnailjpgWelcome to Self-Care Month! We’re proud to present our readers with our first Saturday guest blogger, Sherry Duson, MA. Sherry holds Professional Counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist licenses in Texas and she’s also a State of Texas board-certified clinical Supervisor for both licenses. She’s about to expand her practice to include The Center for Postpartum Family Health. You can read more about Sherry at SherryDuson.com or on Facebook.

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Do you ever find yourself running through your day at a pace that leaves you exhausted?  Are you frantically trying to cram in more errands or mark one more item off of your to-do list, only to find it leaves you depleted and spent?  For most women, our relationship with “time” is a complicated one. This leads me to an item of self-care which I believe is not discussed often enough, which is our conscious use of TIME.  Perhaps it is a remnant of the deeply embedded American work ethic, but many of us corrupt the quality of our days by taking on more to do than is realistic, and then carry a mantra of negative self-talk about not getting enough done.  This year might be a good time to re-think your relationship with time, and make the adjustments necessary to help you feel that you run your day instead of it running you.

I would challenge you to find a pace which is realistic for YOUR UNIQUE SELF, based on an honest assessment of your energy and stamina and a conscious decision to adjust accordingly.  If you have no idea of how much is too much, you may need to start with a little self-discovery.  Begin by taking inventory of your well-being throughout the day. Take a break every two hours and take a quick check of how you are feeling in that moment.  Just give yourself a number on a scale of 1-10. Notice how it changes throughout the day. If you start your day at a high number and then it deteriorates throughout the day, ask yourself why.  The answer is often some sort of self-judgment about your perceived lack of accomplishments.

Once you know a bit more about how you feel during your day, consider the tasks you lay out before you.  Are you asking yourself to conduct your day with a sense of nurture and self-preservation? Or is guilt driving your choices, making you feel badly about every lack of accomplishment? One way to figure this out is to ask yourself what you would say to a good friend if you saw her going through her day at a frantic, maybe even damaging pace. If you really loved your friend, you might say something like, “Wow, you are really hard on yourself! Why don’t you slow down and relax? You don’t have to do it all today. I am concerned about you, and I don’t like seeing you so stressed out!”  Now, consider being your own best friend.  Cultivate that feeling of love and nurturing towards yourself.  Chances are if you can do that, you will be more forgiving and less judgmental about what you do or don’t accomplish.

Finally, ask yourself how you would like to feel at the end of your day.  Do you want to be able to have a little patience and reserve left over for your family and loved ones? If so, it may require altering your day, so that you can do just that.  Connection with others requires some energy and patience.  If you have run yourself ragged all day, chances are nothing will be left over for those you care most about. Make the adjustments necessary to be your “best” self with those who matter most to you.

In closing, I remind us all that an important feature of self-care is to take responsibility of those aspects of our daily lives that we have control over. Your schedule is probably one of those things  Sometimes the reason we over-extend ourselves with commitments and appointments is because we are afraid to ask for help, or can’t admit we are doing too much. Once we set a realistic expectation for our day based on what we know of our personal energy capacity, we need to work to quiet any guilty feelings which accompany it, and tell ourselves that it is okay.  Perfection is not the goal.  Going through the day using a pace that works for us and those we love is a goal worth pursuing!

SNOWPOCALYPSE 2014: Humor for Stress Relief

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursdays with Stacey

For those of you who didn’t know, I live in the Houston, Texas area. The recent “polar vortices,” or SNOWPOCALYPSE, as the satire sites call it, have us Texans all in a bother.

Now, don’t get me wrong; there are many of us who take the cold rather well. But there are also many folks who get goosebumps once the temperature drops below 70F! Add “wintry mix” in the form of sleet, ice, and snow flurries and people down here lose their minds. School districts shut down (which is actually needed, as many buses have to drive on overpasses to get the kids to the schools, which is obviously dangerous when they are iced over), people stay home from work and the streets and freeways look like ghost paths.

Humor is a great way to combat depression and laughter actually helps relieve stress, as it produces hormones such as oxytocin and endorphins, which are our natural feel-good body chemicals. With that statement, here are some chuckles for you from various sites that poke fun at us Texans when the cold weather hits (and unfortunately, many of these ring true):

Articles:

Picture humor:

Where can you experience 4 seasons in 2 days?
Better cancel school!
This is the best we could do.
Temps are dropping…better close Texas!
On the highways…

I had volunteered to work with the Police Department at our city’s annual Winterfest on January 25. I had to report to my station at 8:30am and temperatures were still in the low 30’s, even though it was sunny (and it eventually warmed up nicely). To keep warm, I had a sweater under a fleece hoodie, with a hat under that, gloves and thermals under my jeans. I was told I looked like the Unabomber! The redness under my nose was caused by me constantly blowing it. Yes, even I am not immune to the horror of sub-40 degree temps! 🙂

The real Unabomber
I don’t see a resemblance! 😉

Preview of February Self-Care Month Events

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in January tips, Mental Health Education, Mondays with Diane, Self-Care Month

As you may have seen, Stacey and I decided to designate February as self-care month. With Valentine’s Day not far off, it seemed that the idea of self-care and showing ourselves “a little love” was timely.

During February, we’ll be writing and having guest posts on topics pertaining to self-care, self-compassion, self-love, wellness, mind/body health and other POSITIVE mental health topics. If you have something to say about the importance of self-care, have an established a self-care regimen that works for you or have questions about how other women (ourselves included) make self-care work, then please contact us using the form on our post announcing Self-Care Month.

If you live in St. Louis,we’ll be hosting several self-care classes at my office, Midwest Mind Body Health Center which are:

Mindful Stress Reduction: Saturday, February 8th 10am-noon

Join Dr. Sanford for this 2-hour class to learn clinically proven techniques to reduce anxiety, depression & stress, and improve health & well-being. Mindfulness skills include: breathing exercises, meditation, relaxation training, mind-body movement, thought-releasing techniques & self-compassion.

Mindful Moms: Mondays 9:30-10:45am

Start your week off in a calm, peaceful way with Mindful Moms. Practice basic mindfulness skills with other moms. Learn meditation, breathing exercises, mind-body movement, thought-releasing techniques and self-compassion to stress less & live better.

Women’s Self-Care: Wednesdays 7-8:15pm *Preview 1.28

Is it time for Code Lavender? Time to reduce stress and increase overall health and well-being. An intentional self-care map will make 2014 a year of transformative personal & professional growth!

Mommy 411: Thursdays 9:30-10:45am

Join Jamie Bodily, PLPC, for this on-going 4-session class and support group. Topics include mom & newborn physical care; coping with postpartum emotional adjustment; dealing with relationship changes & developing healthy sleep habits and schedules.

 

February is Self-Care Month! Help Us Celebrate!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Guest blogger, Self-Care Month

Buddha

We’ve deemed February as Self-Care Month! It’s a great time to do special things for YOU! Valentine’s Day focuses on relationships, but our February focuses on love for the Self.

We’re looking for a few good women to be guest bloggers on Saturdays during February. Have you got something to say about the importance of self-care? Have you established a self-care regimen that works for you? Do you have questions and would like to hear feedback from our readers? Have you made a video about self-care or wellness that you’d like to share? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then please contact us using the form below!

Guidelines:

You may re-post things from your own blog or site (and we’ll put a link in your post to direct readers to your site), write something original or post something that someone else wrote along with your reaction to it (make sure to include any relevant links to the original article/author). Basically, our website is your canvas to paint whatever you’d like as long as it pertains to self-care, self-compassion, self-love, wellness, mind/body health or any other POSITIVE mental health topic.

We look forward to hearing from you, ladies! Let’s share the love in February!

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

Intuition Helps Solve “Mid-Life” Crises

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Thursdays with Stacey

I am in the middle of the developmental stage when most Americans hit their “mid-life crisis.” This generally occurs between the ages of 35 – 45 (I am 42). And yes, there is something to the mid-life crisis. Obviously, it isn’t universal, but most people experience a big change or the urge to make a big change during these years. From buying the clichéd red Corvette to changing careers to marriages and divorces, big transformations are often afoot.

I am currently assisting several clients with break-ups of all sorts (marriages, engagements, relationships), total career changes, and a few that are focusing on their “bucket lists,” experiencing now what they said they would, “some day.” The last category is especially exciting to help with, as the client is generally joyous and looking forward to each day, planning travel, visiting family, etc. The break-ups are tough, but on some level, each person knows that what’s happening is for the best in the long run, even though it’s painful now. I can personally identify with the folks making career changes because I am, too!

Don’t worry – I am not going anywhere! I am actually transitioning from counseling to exclusively writing and designing websites. It’s strange to think of “retiring” from a profession at age 42, but the inner voice that Diane referred to on Monday has been directing me to do this for quite some time. I have been listening and stopped taking new clients months ago, but only lately have I started making some real changes, such as designing a website (caution: under construction!) for my new business, updating things on my LinkedIn profile and researching ways to market my services. I’ll admit that it’s a bit scary, but since these actions are aligned with my inner voice, I am confident that I am following the “right” path.

This has happened to me once before, back in 1999 when my daughter was born and I was working in computer science. I had gone through and recovered from postpartum panic disorder and anxiety and felt something tugging at me. After feeling frustrated for a while, knowing I needed a change but not knowing how or what, I had one of those “spiritual experiences” that people talk about here and there. All of a sudden, I had visions of my future flash before my eyes – going back to school, working with addicted persons and then sitting across from a new mother, counseling her as she went through a postpartum mood disorder. These visions lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like longer. Even though I had been shown the path, it took me a while to find the school (I got in by the skin of my teeth because someone turned down one of the 20 spots offered per year). I got a job immediately after school working with drug trials to help addicted people stop using. And in 2004, I opened the doors of my private practice, where I specialized in postpartum mood disorders.

Here it is 10 years later and my inner voice is telling me what my next move needs to be. My mid-life crisis may involve a big change, but I am confident that I am doing what is best for me. The good news for YOU is that you have an inner voice, too! You don’t have to meditate or chant to hear it, though those things work for some people. There are simple techniques you can use to “tune in” to your intuitive self and have major questions answered!

  • Use the breath. Breathe in slowly and ask your question silently. Breathe out and listen for your answer. Make sure you are in a quiet, peaceful environment and are as relaxed as possible. You may have to repeat this several times, but the answer will come if you’re listening!
  • Trust your “hunches” and “gut feelings.” If you have a vague, bad feeling about something, then that is your inner voice telling you that is not a good choice for you! Conversely, if you feel “right” about your decision, path or choice, then it is a good thing!
  • Use a pen and paper or computer. Start writing about the situation you are in and then let go of controlling which words you write or type. Just write down whatever comes to mind. Journaling can take you from Point A to Point Z in a few minutes!
  • Work in your sleep. Before going to bed at night, take a few minutes to think about your situation. Then tell yourself that you intend to work it out in your dreams. When you wake up, immediately write down anything that comes to mind.
  • Do not listen to your ego-driven thoughts. These are the thoughts that cause confusion instead of clarity. Anything that is judgmental or starts with, “What if…” is definitely an ego-driven thought! Intuitive messages usually appear in your mind as images or you feel them in your gut or heart.

I hope that you’ll find one or more of these suggestions helpful! If you’re facing a “crisis” and have always wanted to try meditating, this would be a good time to start. For more information on meditation, visit http://www.how-to-meditate.org/.

Video Does Great Job Explaining Depression

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in January tips, Mental Health Education

I came upon this video yesterday and thought it was an outstanding way to explain depression to someone who has never had it. It also mentions the awful stigma that comes with dealing with mental illness and its symptoms. Feel free to share this with someone who could use it. The URL is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc. Namaste’.