Tag: motherhood

New and Improved: “Words of Wisdom”

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Wednesday Wisdom

Just a quick reminder that we’re moving Wednesday Wisdom to Words of Wisdom on Thursday.  Thursday’s post will be about spirituality and self-care by a woman we admire who at 60 went back to get her Masters in Divinity.  Her story and life are an inspiration and we know you’ll enjoy what she has to say.

In the meantime, we couldn’t let you leave empty-handed.  Here are some thoughts about self-care from Vimala McClure’s The Tao of Motherhood.

“Taking care of yourself is your right and your responsibility.  If a mother values herself, her children value her.  She teaches self-esteem by her example.  Her peaceful demeanor communicates love to all who come in contact with her.

 Knowing when to sacrifice the self and when to nurture the self comes with daily mindfulness.  Pay attention to your body’s signals.  Observing your feelings each day, eventually you will be able to take time for yourself before it before it becomes an angry demand.  This enables you to give of yourself appropriately, without resentment.”

Wise words to live by.  Join us Thursday for our new and improved “Words of Wisdom.”  We welcome your contributions so send them along.

Living Self-Care: Let’s Succeed Together

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

Back in January after our first self-care challenge/contest, Mollee Bauer of pregnancy.org called for a self-care revolution. While we agree wholeheartedly, it’s become clear (again) that as women this is a hard change to make.  Likewise, it’s not something that can be achieved in a week or two or done without serious effort and commitment. In our quick-fix culture, it seems that we’d often rather be entertained or distracted than dealing with our emotional health.

At Living Self-Care, we want to have fun but we also want to provide  meaningful content which will help you create an emotionally healthy life filled with joy and personal satisfaction/success . But we need your input. Please let us know what you’d like to hear about and how we can present the info in a way which is most helpful. This is your site too and your thoughts/comments are valued.

Starting today, we’ll be posting twice a week. Monday will still be thoughts for the week. Instead of Wednesday, Thursday will become “Words of Wisdom” from books we’ve read, teachers we follow, other women’s groups, and hopefully, a place for your contributions. Women’s circles are powerful because of their shared wisdom and strength and with almost 300 of us, imagine the possibilities.

Finally, we’re looking for a new subtitle for Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide. We’ve been told it’s too heavy. Our book’s about moms taking care of themselves so they can be the mom they want to. Any thoughts? Let us know. See you Thursday.

Living Self-Care Challenge Contest Winners!

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Press Release

We appreciate your patience this week as we have worked to wrap up last week’s Living Self-Care Challenge Contest. As you know, we practiced what we preached and took some time for self-care this week. Last week was a blast and we thoroughly enjoyed every comment, tweet, and new fan at our Facebook Page.

Now, on to the important stuff! The winners!

Last week’s Living Self-Care Challenge was accompanied by a contest featuring prizes donated by our Challenge Champions. In order to win, you had to subscribe to our blog by 11:59pm on May 6, 2011. This past week we drew winners and are thrilled to share them with you!

Our winners are:

tetlak75(@)yahoo.com – $50 amazon gift certificate from Pregnancy.org

haaron10(@)yahoo.com – Gift Certificate to Massage Envy via Baby Kids Expo

lwaugh(@)vpvp.com – $25 Shutterfly Gift Certificate via Working Moms Against Guilt

shauna_mondello(@)yahoo.com – Book and 1 hour of coaching from Darline Turner-Lee of Mamas on Bedrest

thistleandlavender(@)yahoo.com – Happy Family clothing & PSI Educational DVD via Postpartum Support International

kiciaw(@)sunflower.com – Spa eye pillow & Neck Pillow via Postpartum Progress

marybeth.waite(@)gmail.com – Jewelry set via Mother to Mother Support

trejojuil(@)aol.com – Great Mom Book via Minutes to Moments

jessica.pupillo(@)gmail.com – Deluxe Prize Basket from Real Mom Experts

Congratulations to all our winners! You’ll be contacted via email with additional details regarding how to claim your prizes.

Thank you again to all the wonderful Challenge Champions including St.Louis Kid’s Magazine for their support and generous donation of wonderful prizes. We could not have had such a successful week without your participation!

Woo-hoo Contest Winners Announced Today

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Press Release

We’ve chosen the winners.  We’ve awarded the prizes.  Now, we just need to post it.  Look for our announcement today at 5pm CT (central time) to see if you’ve won.  Good luck to all.

In the meantime, please register for our new Facebook fan page.   Our livingselfcare FB group page will be archived within the next few months and we don’t want to lose touch with you.  Also, please send ideas about aspects of self-care you’d like to see addressed.  You can also check out “7 Sanity Tips for Moms” by Dr.Sanford at BabyCenter’s Momformation blog center.  Let us know what you think.

Follow Your Bliss

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Wednesday Wisdom

Here’s another comment we wanted to share from the Self-Care Contest/Challenge. 

“Sometimes moms prioritize their kids’ needs too much and don’t focus enough on self-care. I’ve been guilty of doing that, but I’ve also learned that taking time for my kids, and the little things each day that are important enough to them that they want me to pay attention, also equals self-care. *I* get so much out of the bursts of undivided attention I give them…they teach me, they make me laugh, I just enjoy them so much that it lifts me up to lift them up and see how that little bit of attention fans the flames of their own self-love and self-confidence. I think too often we moms get caught up in all the “musts” of parenting and forget to really, truly enjoy our kids. That’s been such an important lesson for me. They feed on my love for them, I feed on their love for me, and we’re all so much happier and healthier as a result.

My 9-year-old daughter wrote a very sweet poem for me for Mother’s Day. My favorite line is this one: “The way you look at me, it’s so special…it makes me feel so loved.” WOW! If I’m succeeding at that, and nothing else in life, I’m going to consider mine a life well-lived. So for me, for now, in this moment, my kids are definitely my bliss.” :-D

Today’s author is Angela.

Contest winners will be announced Friday.  Thanks for your patience.

What Is A Mother?

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings

As we conclude our Mother’s Day Contest/Challenge, here are some final thoughts about what motherhood means.  One of our favorite poems about mother/parenthood is from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, “On Children.”

 “Your children are not your children.  They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. ..

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.”

Another touching  account of motherhood is found in the video “What Is A Mother,” from Mother to Mother, one of our challenge champions.  Click here to view.

Then I saw Katherine Stone’s beautiful Mother Day post at Daily Hope and wanted you to see it too.

“You will discover the mother inside you and how beautiful and wonderful she is thanks in part to the love from your children.  You will grow to see yourself as your child sees you when he or she calls your name, or falls asleep comfortably in your arms, or smiles at you, or wants you when she is scared or hurt, or asks your opinion when he needs guidance.  You will see. ”

Photo by Real Mom Kim

We took the weekend off to practice self-care so contest winners will be announced Wednesday.  In the meantime, we hope you’ll send us your comments about what motherhood means to you.  Remember, make everyday Mother’s Day by Living Self-Care.

Our Mother’s Day Gift To You

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Press Release

We don’t usually post on Saturday but I wanted to share this very special video with all of you for Mother’s Day.  It was made for our Missouri phone support program, Mother to Mother  by students from Ladue High School in St.Louis  and words can’t describe how touching it is.  So, get the kleenex out and for all you do, this is for you.

Click on “What Is A Mother” to see this amazing video.  A true gift to moms.

Wrapping Up Our Self-Care Contest/Challenge: Last Day to Enter and Win

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Uncategorized

Living Self-Care: Body-Mind-Heart&Soul

 To make self-care a lasting habit, we must redefine our priorities shifting our attention from what’s urgent to what’s truly important. 

In Beyond the Eighth Habit, Steven Covey discusses four paths which correspond to the four aspects of health essential to self-care: body-to live; mind-to learn; heart-to love; and soul-to leave a legacy.  If we devote time and attention to these,  we will create optimal health, happiness, and life satisfaction, enhancing the lives of everyone around us. 

Summary Suggestions:

1.      Make your health and well-being a priority

2.      Nourish your body with food, sleep, activity and rest.

3.      Manage stress wisely.

4.      Be a positive thinker.

5.      Don’t make assumptions.

6.      Accept yourself and others wholly.

7.      Trust your inner guidance.

8.      Nourish relationships with family and friends.

9.      Respect yourself and others.

10.  Do what makes your heart sing.

11.  Practice compassion, kindness and forgiveness.

12.  Connect with spirit through gratitude, service, and intention.

While we can’t control everything, we can create a life filled with health, happiness and purpose if we align our actions and thoughts with living self-care body, mind, heart and soul.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Make it count!

Today is the final day of the Mother’s Day Self-Care Contest/Challenge.  If you haven’t subscribed to our blog yet, register by 11:59 CT tonight t win our fabulous prizes.  Thanks for joining us.  Hope you’ll stay with us and keep Living Self-Care.

Surviving PPD: The Princess Who Saved Herself

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Monday Musings, Tuesday Tips

This past weekend, I participated in a training for Mother to Mother, our free volunteer phone support program for pregnant and post-birth moms in Missouri.  One conversation which stood out for me was how surviving postpartum depression (PPD) can help us become stronger and more confident.  Not that anyone would willingly choose this, but sometimes it chooses us. 

Experiencing mild depression after my first baby, took me by surprise.  After completing my doctoral degree, getting my psychology license, and seeing 30 clients a week, I thought I could handle anything.  Certainly, motherhood couldn’t be more challenging.  How wrong I was!   

As a new mom I doubted myself about many things, including if I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.  I felt incompetent, inadequate and that I wasn’t “good enough” to be the mom my daughter deserved.   I thought sleep, self-care and sex were permanently gone.  On bad days I was convinced life as I knew it was over and I’d be trapped in motherhood hell forever. 

But gradually, the landscape changed.  Surviving the ups, downs and uncertainties of new motherhood, I emerged feeling stronger and self-assured.  More capable of meeting life’s changes.  Empowered with renewed strength and confidence.

For all moms, including those with PPD,  listen now to “The Princess Who Saved Herself.  It is a reminder and affirmation that while others may help us through  challenging and stressful times, making our way through the darkness is ultimately what saves us.

Cloth or Disposable…And Other Choices Moms Must Make

Posted on by Dr. Diane Sanford in Tuesday Tips

As soon as a woman announces that she has a positive pregnancy test, everyone has their advice and questions on choices she must make.  Will you have an epidural or not?  Will you use cloth or disposable? and the list goes on.  This myriad of opinions can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even irritating as a woman begins her journey towards motherhood.

Because women have been conditioned to nurture and please others, we agonize over choices, worrying we are going to hurt someone’s feelings by not doing it their way or that we will make a “wrong” decision and harm our children.   Society exerts considerable pressure to conform and attain a level of perfection in mothering that is impossible. 

But parenting is more of an art than a science.  Intuition is as important as what experts say.  Learning to be ourselves and accept our choices, whether they conform or differ from others, is an important part of the journey of becoming a mom.  The ability to transcend the opinions of others and make our own best choices enables us to become the mothers our children need instead of anxious, guilt-ridden mothers subject to the popular opinions of the media or others. 

Following our intuition means we must take time to know ourselves, to nourish ourselves and to trust ourselves; it means we must take time for self-care or the voices around us will drown our own.

Jamie Bodily is founder and director of ParentsCount which provides birth and postpartum doula services, childbirth education and counseling.